You are not what you think : the egoless path to self-esteem and generous love

You and your ego: how to develop strong self-confidence without becoming an egotist—so you can be happy with who you are and make others love you too How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life—yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don’t worry; Dave Richo has the answers. You Are Not What You Think shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving. The key is to acknowledge your ego and to be kind to it, before you ultimately learn to let it go. As with all Dave’s books, this one is full of examples from mythology, psychology, and religion, with plenty of exercises and practical advice. Title Page Copyright Contents Introduction 1. What Is Ego? What Egotism Looks Like Where Did Ego Come From? A Freudian View of Ego: A Healthy Center A Jungian View: Spiritual Riches A Depth View: The More That Meets the Eye A Buddhist View: Flux and Flow Introducing the Practices Practice: Cultivating Big Mind Practice: Mindfulness and Big Mind 2. What Is My Ego So Afraid Of? How Attention Helps Practice: Getting Over Our Fears Practice: Working with Our Fear of Vulnerability Compassion for Ourselves Practicing Self-Compassion Talking to Ourselves Kindly Responding to the Inner Critic The End of Compulsive Seeking 3. Healthy Ego and Egotism The Three-Way Ego All Puffed Up When We Meet Up with a Narcissist Too Small an Ego The Ego at Ease: Just Right Pride Practice: Look and See 4. Childhood and Ego Letting Go of Old Programming Practice: Healing the Past That Is Still in Us We and Our Parents Now Practice: Fulfulling Our Lifelong Yearnings 5. Ego and Relationships How Egotism Can Show Up in a Relationship Does No Ego Mean No Me? Brain, Sex, and the Stages of Relationship When the Ego Is Aroused in Relationships Drama and Reactions Practice: Openness to Communication Practice: Affirmations for Healthier Relationships 6. Taming and Befriending Our Ego Neither Seek nor Avoid When Ego Gets Its Comeuppance Practice: Shortcuts to Letting Go of Ego Positive Uses of Ego Making the Best of the Dark Side Practice: Making Friends with Our Shadow Practice: New Directions The Wonderful Results of Taming 7. Honoring Our True Nature A Surrender We Welcome The Buddha Mindspace Practice: Circle Meditation Epilogue: The Great Reversal Appendix: Feminine Powers and the Male Ego About the Author E-mail Sign-Up You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotistand how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others. How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in lifeyet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving. The key is to acknowledge your ego and to be kind to it, before you ultimately learn to let it go. As with all Dave's books, this one is full of examples from myth and religion, with plenty of exercises and practical advice. This well-written, easy-to-read book will give a wealth of practical advice on how to unhook and disentangle yourself from the myriad unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, self-judgments, and self-concepts that we often refer to as ego. If you want a healthier, happier, more compassionate relationship with yourself, this book is for you.Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living David Richo uses concepts from neuroscience, psychology, and Buddhism to show us how to make a friend of our ego, that oddly obstreperous, often tyrannical but ultimately useful chimera. Norman Fischer, author of Experience: on Thinking, Writing, Language and Religion, and What is Zen? Plain Talk for a Beginners Mind A healthy ego is necessary to achieving our goals, to building healthy relationships, and to leading a satisfying and meaningful life. But an ego that gets too big-that becomes egotism-can actually inhibit all those wonderful possibilities. In this luminous guide, David Richo offers wisdom from psychology, myth, and spiritual traditions to show us how to let go of the kind of ego that causes suffering for ourselves and others. As a wonderful result, we gain self-confidence and find new ways to love too. It's not a matter of getting rid of ego but of seeing through it. When we learn to do that, Dave says, we'll discover the core of indestructible goodness in our enlightened nature. Then, when we see "big ego" expressed in ourselves or others, we begin to regard it with compassion rather than disdain. We are truly, Dave shows, not what we think but much, much more You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotist--and how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others. How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life--yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people hate you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving. The key is to acknowledge your ego and to be kind to it, before you ultimately learn to let it go. As with all Dave's books, this one is full of examples from myth and religion, with plenty of exercises and practical advice