Would I Lie to You? : The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies

"An interesting reported memoir about the power of honesty—not surprisingly, a surprisingly honest account." —Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of The Happiness Project "Some books change how you think. Some change how you act. Would I Lie to You? does both." — KJ Dell'Antonia, editor New York Times Motherlode blog, and author of How to Be a Happier Parent Inspired by her popular New York Times article, "How Honesty Could Make You Happier," award-winning journalist Judi Ketteler takes a deep dive into the hard truths about honesty, from the personal to the political . . . We're incensed by politicians who lie and corporations that cheat, but when it comes to our own honesty choices, we often barely notice. So, what happens when we do notice? Judi Ketteler thought of herself as an honest person. And yet, she knew it wasn't the whole story . . . How often was Judi engaging in the same dishonest behavior she was condemning in others? To answer that question, she started her "Honesty Journal," and set out to confront her perennial fear of speaking the truth in a range of situations—including with friends, her kids, and even inside her complicated marriage. The result is a timely consideration of the joys and pains of truth in a world that seems committed to lying. "Great for generating discussion on the subject of authenticity and thinking through tough questions." — Library Journal " Would I Lie to You? is filled with so many fresh insights and proactive solutions that it could pass for a masterclass on honesty." — Camille Pagán, bestselling author of I'm Fine and Neither Are You "Candor, humor, and wry guidance for developing positive, forthright relationships with ourselves and others." —Foreword Magazine Go ahead. I can handle the truth. We protest when we don't get it. We divorce spouses who withhold it. We insist our children practice it. We're hurt when our friends don't divulge it. But when it comes to our own behavior, how often do we transgress' Out of diplomacy, kindness, sympathy, and privacy we don't always tell the truth. Yet we often barely notice. What happens when we notice' When we truly focus on the decisions we're making around honesty' When we view our entire life through the lens of honesty' When award-winning journalist and New York Times contributor Judi Ketteler looked at her Facebook page she saw an absolutely content, non-clinically-depressed daughter, sister, mother, and friend who believed in openness and generosity of spirt. She saw a wife whose marriage was authentic. It wasn't quite the whole story. After building up so many defense mechanisms and justifications and compartments of feelings, Judi realized that the line between truth and deception was beginning to blur. How often had she herself paltered, exaggerated, concealed, side-stepped, or spun the truth' To answer that question, Judi started her "Honesty Journal." She knew she'd have to follow through if she was to get to the bottom of her complicated relationship with honesty. Blending her personal journey-as well of that of family, friends, and share-givers-with years of research into the psychology of deception, Would I Lie to You' is a timely consideration of the joys and pains of truth. In it, Ketteler explores the reasons we lie: shame, convenience, regret, fear of emotions and confrontations, and to keep a secret. She examines the value of kind lies, and cautions against those that are cruel. And she reveals the importance and differences between "social honesty" with co-workers, acquaintances and social media, "intimate honesty" with those we love, and the "self-honesty" of the stories we tell to ourselves about ourselves. The bottom line: focusing on honesty is the ultimate way to actively engage with the world and create healthier and happier relationships. Honesty work isn't necessarily the easiest work, but it may well be the most important **"An interesting reported memoir about the power of honesty—not surprisingly, a surprisingly honest account."** **—Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of __The Happiness Project__****"Some books change how you think. Some change how you act. __Would I Lie to You?__ does both." **—**KJ Dell'Antonia, editor __New York Times__ Motherlode blog, and author of __How to Be a Happier Parent__****Inspired by her popular __New York Times__ article, "How Honesty Could Make You Happier,"** We're incensed by politicians who lie and corporations that cheat, but when it comes to our own honesty choices, we often barely notice. So, what happens when we notice? Judi Ketteler thought of herself as an honest person. And yet, she knew it wasn't the whole story . . . How often was Judi engaging in the same dishonest behavior she was condemning in others? To answer that question, she started her "Honesty Journal," and set out to confront her perennial fear of speaking the truth in a range of situations—including with friends, her kids, and even inside her complicated marriage. The result is a timely consideration of the joys and pains of truth in a world that seems committed to lying. **"Great for generating discussion on the subject of authenticity and thinking through tough questions." **—**__Library Journal__****"__Would I Lie to You?__ is filled with so many fresh insights and proactive solutions that it could pass for a masterclass on honesty."** ****—**Camille Pagán, bestselling author of __I'm Fine and Neither Are You__****"Candor, humor, and wry guidance for developing positive, forthright relationships with ourselves and others." __—Foreword Magazine__** We all want the truth, don't we? In fact, we demand it. We divorce spouses who withhold it. We insist our children practice it. We're hurt when our friends don't divulge it. We're incensed by politicians who invent it. But when it comes to our own behavior, how often do we transgress? Out of diplomacy, kindness, sympathy, and privacy we don't always tell the truth. Yet we often barely notice. So, what happens when we do notice? When we truly focus on the decisions we're making around honesty? When we view our entire life through the lens of honesty? Award-winning journalist and New York Times contributor Judi Ketteler looked at her Facebook page and saw a content mother, a generous friend and sister, a good daughter, and a wife with a happy marriage. It wasn't quite the whole story though. In thinking about all the truths she wasn't revealing, Judi realized that the line between truth and deception was beginning to blur. How often had she herself paltered, exaggerated, concealed, side-stepped, or spun the truth? To answer that question, Judi started her "Honesty Journal." She set out to get to the bottom of her complicated relationship with honesty and confronted her perennial fear of speaking the truth in social situations, among friends, in the workplace, with her kids-and finally, inside her complicated marriage. Blending her personal journey with the latest research into the psychology of deception, Would I Lie to You? is a timely consideration of the joys and pains of truth in a world that seems committed to lying "What would it mean to commit to unconditional honesty and what impact might that have on our lives? Inspired by her popular New York Times article, 'How Honesty Could Make You Happier,' award-winning journalist Judi Ketteler takes a deep dive into the hard truths about honesty, from the personal to the political... We're incensed by politicians who lie and corporations that cheat, but when it comes to our own honesty choices, we often barely notice. So, what happens when we do notice? Judi Ketteler thought of herself as an honest person. And yet, she knew it wasn't the whole story... How often was Judi engaging in the same dishonest behavior she was condemning in others? To answer that question, she started her 'Honesty Journal,' and set out to confront her perennial fear of speaking the truth in a range of situations--including with friends, her kids, and even inside her complicated marriage. The result is a timely consideration of the joys and pains of truth in a world that seems committed to lying."--Amazon