What Men with Asperger Syndrome Want to Know About Women, Dating and Relationships

Positive, practical and realistic, this book offers a wealth of information on women, dating and relationships for men with Asperger Syndrome (AS). Many AS men are totally confused and bewildered by women and relationships and find it hard to know what to do, what to say and how to get it right. For these men, understanding the emotional side to relationships and women's needs can be a complete mystery and they often get it disastrously wrong. This practical handbook provides the answers to Asperger men's most frequently asked questions about women, dating and relationships, helping them to understand the way relationships work and increasing their confidence and ability to have successful relationships. This comprehensive handbook is essential reading for men with Asperger Syndrome (and their partners). It will also be of immeasurable use to counsellors and other professionals working with such individuals. Practical answers to frequently asked questions about women, dating and relationships What Men with Asperger Syndrome Want to Know About Women, Dating and Relationships 4 Foreword by Tony Attwood 13 Acknowledgements 18 Introduction 19 Dating and Courtship 23 1. Where is the best place to meet a prospective partner? 25 2. How do I know if she is attracted to me? 37 3. How do I ask her out? 44 4. Where do I take her on the first date and what can I do to make a good first impression? 48 5. What should I talk about on the first date? 51 6. How do I know when or if to take it further? 57 7. When is it OK to expect sex? 60 8. What if she rejects me? How can I avoid this happening? 62 The Relationship 65 9. Why are women so complicated? 72 10. I feel that whatever I do it will be wrong, especially when she is upset. If I say nothing it is wrong, if I say something that will be wrong too. So is it all my fault? 77 11. I get to a point that I feel I want to run away, as I cannot discuss or argue any more. Why won’t she just let me go? 79 12. She asks me what I feel or why I love her and before I can answer she has become reactive/angry/upset/critical. Why? 82 13. She tells me I have a communication problem, yet I have been complimented on my communication at work. Who is right here? 86 14. I feel like she purposely pushes me until I react and then acts the victim and blames me for getting angry. Why does she do this? 89 15. Why is she always criticising me? 93 16. Why does she exaggerate so often? 98 17. If I keep quiet it is wrong and if I speak up it is wrong! Why? 102 18. My only purpose seems to be to work and earn the money. Is this all I am worth? Why doesn’t she appreciate all I do for her (and the family)? 109 19. Why does my partner expect me to come in from work and immediately start discussing the day with her? 113 20. My partner keeps nagging me to get rid of some of my possessions. She does not understand how much stress this causes me. What can I do? 118 21. My wife does not seem to know how to load a dishwasher and yet when I rearrange the contents she gets really mad at me. Why won’t she just do things the correct way? 121 22. Why does my partner constantly disrupt my plans and routines? 126 23. Why does my partner have to announce everything we do on Facebook? Surely I am entitled to some privacy in my life? 132 24. She constantly accuses me of not listening to her and forgetting what she has told me. Is she making this up to put me down or do I really have memory problems? 135 25. My partner complains I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time with her, and yet when I try to spend time with her she just wants to watch soaps! I think she is being unreasonable. Is she? 141 26. My partner discovered I had been looking at porn on the internet. She is now threatening me with divorce. Why is she taking it so out of proportion? 144 27. I feel like I am living with Jekyll and Hyde. For two weeks out of every month my partner seems to have a personality change. She blames it on PMT. Is it really that bad? 149 28. Why does she get angry and upset if I don’t call or text her at least once a day? 152 29. Why are cards and gifts so important to her? 156 30. Why does she need me to keep telling her I love her? 160 31. How can I keep saying ‘I love you’ and other nice things without sounding false? 163 32. How can I tell the difference between when she just wants a hug and when she wants to have sex? 166 33. Why won’t she have sex with me? 170 And then there were three... 175 34. We have recently had our first child. I feel my whole life has been turned upside down. My wife has become totally unpredictable; one minute she is happy and the next she is crying her eyes out. What’s wrong with her? 177 35. Our baby seems to scream all the time and I cannot cope with the noise. I am not getting any sleep. My partner does not understand how hard it is for me and gets angry if I complain. Why? 180 36. I spend all day at work and when I get home my partner expects me to take on the childcare, yet she has been at home all day. This feels unreasonable. Is it? 183 37. My partner said she cannot trust me to look after the children. I would never hurt the children so why is she saying this? 187 38. I feel totally on the outside and alienated from the family. It feels like it is them and me, yet my partner gets angry and accuses me of not being involved enough with them. Who is right? 191 39. Why does she say I am too serious with the children/grandchildren? 195 Conclusion 199 40. Do you have a list of what I can do to try to make her happy in our relationship? 200 41. Are AS/non-AS relationships ever successful? 203 References 210 Le livre s'adresse en premier lieu à l'homme ayant un syndrome d'Asperger et lui propose de judicieux, pratiques et réalistes conseils sur les femmes, les relations amoureuses et les relations interpersonnelles. Il permet d'éclairer certaines confusion pouvant se glisser dans les rapports entre les individus et offre des réponses ainsi que des manières de solutionner les problèmes pouvant en résulter. De comprendre les émotions ainsi que les besoins des partenaires dans les relations interpersonnelles et amoureuses peuvent se révéler un défi insurmontable pour l'homme ayant un syndrome d'Asperger. À partir de son expérience de conseillère, l'auteure offre des réponses aux questions les plus souvent posées par les hommes ayant un syndrome d'Asperger sur ce type de relations, ceci leur permettant d'acquérir une confiance en eux et des compétences interpersonnelles pour remédier aux problèmes avec leur partenaire qui pourraient survenir "Positive, practical and realistic, this book offers everything men with Asperger Syndrome (AS) need to know about women and relationships. Many AS men are totally confused and bewildered by women, dating and relationships and find it hard to know what to do, what to say and how to get it right. For these men, understanding the emotional side to relationships and women's needs can be a complete mystery and they often get it disastrously wrong. This practical handbook provides all the answers to Asperger men's frequently asked questions about women, dating and relationships, helping them to better understand the way relationships work and increasing their confidence and ability to have successful relationships. This comprehensive handbook is essential reading for men with Asperger Syndrome (and their partners). It will also be of considerable use to counsellors and other professionals working with such individuals."--Publisher's description