What It Means to Be Daddy : Fatherhood for Black Men Living Away From Their Children

Absent fathers and households headed by single mothers are frequently blamed for the poor quality of life of African-American children. This book challenges these assumptions, arguing that they are largely an unfair reflection of non-working class white American values. Hamer places the behaviors of black non-custodial fathers in their social, political, and economic contexts and describes these fatherless families from the perspectives of the families themselves. Absent fathers, the breakdown of the nuclear family, and single-mother households are often blamed for the poor quality of life experienced by many African American children. Jennifer F. Hamer challenges both the imposition of an inappropriate value system and the resulting ineffectual social policies. Most of what we know about fathers who do not live with their children is based on interviews with the mothers; this book is based on interviews with the fathers themselves. How do these fathers perceive their roles and responsibilities? This myth-shattering book challenges stereotypes of negotiating parenthood within the context of poverty, live-away status, and black American manhood. Hamer has collected the voices of eighty-eight men who participated in this study by first examining the macro or cultural elements that encompass men's daily lives. As part 1 explores these larger forces that define the social world of fathers, part 2 looks at what significant others expect of men as fathers and how they behave under these circumstances. Part 3 analyzes the particular parenting roles and functions of fathers, using narratives of individual men to tell their own stories. In this book, contemporary black live-away fathers talk about their goals, walk us through their workplaces, allow us to meet their families and children, and enable us to view the world of parenthood through their eyes.

Absent fathers, the breakdown of the nuclear family, and single-mother households are often blamed for the poor quality of life experienced by many African American children. Jennifer F. Hamer challenges both the imposition of an inappropriate value system and the resulting ineffectual social policies. Most of what we know about fathers who do not live with their children is based on interviews with the mothers; this book is based on interviews with the fathers themselves. How do these fathers perceive their roles and responsibilities?

This myth-shattering book challenges stereotypes of negotiating parenthood within the context of poverty, live-away status, and black American manhood. Hamer has collected the voices of eighty-eight men who participated in this study by first examining the macro or cultural elements that encompass men's daily lives. As part 1 explores these larger forces that define the social world of fathers, part 2 looks at what significant others expect of men as fathers and how they behave under these circumstances. Part 3 analyzes the particular parenting roles and functions of fathers, using narratives of individual men to tell their own stories. In this book, contemporary black live-away fathers talk about their goals, walk us through their workplaces, allow us to meet their families and children, and enable us to view the world of parenthood through their eyes.

CONTENTS......Page 8 Acknowledgments......Page 10 Introduction: Fathers’ Lives in Context......Page 16 PART 1: THE WORLD IN WHICH BLACK FATHERS LIVE......Page 30 1. “There’s No Such Thing as a Good Black Father”: Standards of Fatherhood......Page 32 2. Slavery, Civil War, and Reconstruction: Creating a Context for Black Live-Away Fatherhood......Page 48 3. “Times Are Just Going to Get Worse . . .”: Fathers Chasing the American Dream......Page 68 PART 2: EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS......Page 90 4. “Just Be There for the Baby”: What Fathers Say Others Expect......Page 92 5. “Black Men Can Do Better”: What Mothers Say Fathers Do for Their Children......Page 117 PART 3: BEING FATHERS......Page 144 6. What Fathers Say They Do as Daddies......Page 146 7. Live-Away, but Absent?......Page 166 8. “Ain’t Nothing Like Trying to be a Father and Trying to be a Man”: Barriers to Being Daddy......Page 191 Conclusion: “Got to Make Fatherhood Work for Us”—The Meaning of Fatherhood for Black Men Who Do Not Live with Their Children......Page 214 Notes......Page 236 Bibliography......Page 250 B......Page 262 C......Page 263 E......Page 264 F......Page 265 I......Page 267 L......Page 268 M......Page 269 N......Page 270 S......Page 271 T......Page 272 W......Page 273 Challenges stereotypes of negotiating parenthood within the context of poverty, live-away status, and black American manhood. This book features black live-away fathers who talk about their goals, walk us through their workplaces, allow us to meet their families and children, and enable us to view the world of parenthood through their eyes.