War Reporting for Cowards

Cover Page; Title Page; Copyright Page; Dedication; Contents; Preface; 1 How to Deal With a Dead Media Representative; 2 A Proud Line of Cowards; 3 The Lunch Tutorial; 4 "You Haven'T Got a Bloody Hope in Here . . ."; 5 Fight or Flight; 6 The Accidental War Correspondent; 7 Bacillus Anthracis; 8 A Terrible Mistake; 9 Who Runs Lives; 10 The List; 11 Last Starbucks Before Baghdad; 12 "The Worst Camping Trip of Your Life"; 13 Shoe-koo, McKoo?; 14 While Shepherds Watched Their Guns by Night; 15 . . . Thirty Mikes Later; 16 A.W.O.L.; Epilogue; Acknowledgments;Chris Ayres is a small-town boy, a hypochondriac, and a neat freak with an anxiety disorder. Not exactly the picture of a war correspondent. But when his boss asks him if he would like to go to Iraq, he doesn't have the guts to say no. After signing a 1 million dollar life-insurance policy, studying a tutorial on repairing severed limbs, and spending 20 thousand dollars in camping gear (only to find out that his bright yellow tent makes him a sitting duck), Ayres is embedded with a battalion of gung ho Marines who either shun him or threaten him when he files an unfavorable story. As time goes on, though, he begins to understand them (and his inexplicably enthusiastic fellow war reporters) more and more: Each night of terrifying combat brings, in the morning, something more visceral than he has ever experienced-the thrill of having won a fight for survival. In the tradition of MASH, Catch-22, and other classics in which irreverence springs from life in extremis, War Reporting for Cowards tells the story of Iraq in a way that is extraordinarily honest, heartfelt, and bitterly hilarious.

"Imagine George Costanza from Seinfeld being sent off to cover the Iraq War... Hilarious." —Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times Chris Ayres is a small-town boy, a hypochondriac, and a neat freak with an anxiety disorder. Not exactly the picture of a war correspondent. But when his boss asks him if he would like to go to Iraq, he doesn't have the guts to say no. After signing a one million dollar life-insurance policy, studying a tutorial on repairing severed limbs, and spending twenty thousand dollars on camping gear (only to find out that his bright yellow tent makes him a sitting duck), Ayres is embedded with a battalion of gung ho Marines who either shun him or threaten him when he files an unfavorable story. As time goes on, though, he begins to understand them (and his inexplicably enthusiastic fellow war reporters) more and more: Each night of terrifying combat brings, in the morning, something more visceral than he has ever experienced—the thrill of having won a fight for survival. War Reporting for Cowards tells, with "self-deprecating wit", the story of Iraq in a way that is extraordinarily honest and bitterly hilarious ( The New Yorker ). "Heartbreakingly funny." —Anthony Swofford, author of Jarhead "Chris Ayres has invented a new genre: a rip-roaring tale of adventure and derring-don't." —Toby Young, author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People "Darkly entertaining." — Los Angeles Times "Ayres's stories of life with Marines are gripping—in part because he's the perfect neurotic foil." — People

Chris Ayres is a small-town boy, a hypochondriac, and a neat freak with an anxiety disorder. A 27-year-old reporter for The Times of London living in Los Angeles, the only thing he cares to be embedded in is celeb-studded after-parties. But somehow, he has a habit of ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time, whether it's a few blocks from the World Trade Center on September 11 or one cubicle over from an anthrax attack at The New York Post. When his boss asks him if he would like to go to Iraq, he doesn't have the guts to say no. This book is the Iraq War--with all of its horrors and absurdities--through the eyes of a "war virgin" who was there, in the heat of battle, and wishing he were anywhere but.--From publisher description.