Wake Up And Smell The Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, And A Demon Dildo (travelers' Tales)

Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson's left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga's shoes and Madonna's special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic's Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce... Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and insects as big as Pam Andersons left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gagas shoes and Madonnas special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographics Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce LeeGerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putins Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more. Stand Back! The Tales In This Collection Might Get You Dirty. We've All Had Unspeakable Experiences While Traveling That We're Ashamed To Admit, But Admittedly, These Often Become The Favorite Stories Of Friends And Family In The Telling. Embarrassing, Sure, But After All, Isn't Life Just One Big Embarrassment, A Good Joke That We Can Only Survive With Full-throated Laughter? The Writers In This Collection Cast Inhibition And Ridicule Aside And Reveal Their Worst Moments And How They Made The Best Of Them. And Bad Moments Come In All Shapes And Sizes, Whether Intestinal Disruptions, Evil Border Guards, The World's Loudest Snorer In The Bunk Below, Or The Cad Who Not Only Broke Your Heart But Stole Your Innocence Along With Your Money Belt. You'll Feel Their Pain As You Clutch Your Sides And Shake Your Head With Wonder At The Big, Wild World. "Writers reveal all in this outrageous book. A toilet squeals in India, a Dutch vibrator causes a power outage in Chicago, a Thanksgiving blow job puts a spin on the holiday in Ireland, plus police, stink-eyed bureaucrats, emergency evacuations, healers who hurt you--this is an around-the-world romp of hilarious travel disasters"-- Provided by publisher