Under My Helmet: A Football Player's Lifetime Battle with Bipolar Disorder

Ever since he was a child, Keith O'Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed O'Neil, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about...aside from his anxiety. Offered a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, O'Neil jumped at the chance to prove himself. Though it wasn't a Division I-A school, he brought his all and was a natural on the field, achieving first-team All-Big Sky choice as a junior and senior, as well as earning All-American honors. Going undrafted, luck came from the Dallas Cowboys, who offered O'Neil an invite to rookie mini-camp. But while trying to learn the playbook, his anxiety and insomnia returned. Even so, he made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true. While proving himself as a hard-nosed special teamer, sleepless nights, constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts clouded his mind. O'Neil considered stepping away from the game multiple times, even speaking to his coach, Bill Parcells. Parcells gave him the wisdom that “Everyone has a demon in their head, and we have to beat that demon. Beat the demon!" After being released from the Cowboys, O'Neil spent time with the Colts and Giants, but still could not escape his inner demons. He asked for help but never received the attention he needed. In fact, for suicidal thoughts was given a CD to help him relax—Enya. It finally became too much for him to handle, and the final decision was made to walk away from the game. It wasn't until sometime later that was finally diagnosed: Bipolar I disorder. Finally, everything made sense. Under My Helmet is the personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating—and undiagnosed—mental illness. O'Neil's voice is honest and open as he shares his battles and the steps he's taken to overcome adversity. "An athlete's battle with mental illness. Ever since he was a child, Keith O'Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about... aside from his often-crippling anxiety. Offered a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, O'Neil jumped at the chance to prove himself. Though it wasn't a Division I-A school, he brought his all, achieving first-team All-Big Sky selection as a junior and senior, and earning an All-American nod. An offer followed from the Dallas Cowboys for Keith to attend rookie mini-camp, but while learning the playbook he was plagued by profound insomnia and anxiety. Even so, he made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true. Sleepless nights, unending anxiety, and eventually suicidal thoughts clouded Keith's mind. He considered quitting the NFL multiple times, even turning in his playbook to his coach, legendary Bill Parcells, who refused to accept it. Later, Keith's two years with the Indianapolis Colts, which included a Super Bowl championship, were also marked by bouts of anxiety -- but nothing would compare to what he faced after retiring from the game. His descent into depression and madness, the strain his behavior placed on his marriage and family, his new job, an epic spending spree, and finally the act that nearly ended it all... it was not until Keith was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder that things began to make sense. He embarked on a new journey, one that he is still on and will always be on. Under My Helmet is the intensely personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating and, for years, undiagnosed mental illness. Keith's voice is unflinching and compassionate as he shares his battles and the steps he's taken to overcome adversity"--Dust jacket Ever since he was a child, Keith O'Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed O'Neil, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about ... aside from his anxiety. Offered a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, O'Neil jumped at the chance to prove himself. Though it wasn't a Division I-A school, he brought his all and was a natural on the field, achieving first-team All-Big Sky choice as a junior and senior, as well as earning All-American honors. Going undrafted, luck came from the Dallas Cowboys, who offered O'Neil an invite to rookie mini-camp. But while trying to learn the playbook, his anxiety and insomnia returned. Even so, he made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true. While proving himself as a hard-nosed special teamer, sleepless nights, constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts clouded his mind. O'Neil considered stepping away from the game multiple times, even speaking to his coach, Bill Parcells. Parcells gave him the wisdom that Everyone has a demon in their head, and we have to beat that demon. Beat the demon!"After being released from the Cowboys, O'Neil spent time with the Colts and Giants, but still could not escape his inner demons. He asked for help but never received the attention he needed. In fact, for suicidal thoughts was given a CD to help him relax--Enya. It finally became too much for him to handle, and the final decision was made to walk away from the game. It wasn't until sometime later that was finally diagnosed: Bipolar I disorder. Finally, everything made sense. Under My Helmet is the personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating--and undiagnosed--mental illness. O'Neil's voice is honest and open as he shares his battles and the steps he's taken to overcome adversity An Athlete’s Battle With Mental Illness. Ever Since He Was A Child, Keith O’neil Wanted To Play Football. Born On The Same Day That His Father, Ed O’neil, Was Cut From The New England Patriots, Football Was All Keith Could Think About . . . Aside From His Anxiety. Offered A Scholarship To Northern Arizona University, O’neil Jumped At The Chance To Prove Himself. Though It Wasn’t A Division I-a School, He Brought His All, Achieving First-team All-big Sky Choice As A Junior And Senior And Earning All-american Honors. The Dallas Cowboys Offered O’neil An Invite To Rookie Mini-camp. But While Learning The Playbook, His Anxiety And Insomnia Returned. Even So, He Made The Team As An Undrafted Free Agent. His Dream Had Come True. Yet, Sleepless Nights, Constant Anxiety, And Suicidal Thoughts Clouded His Mind. O’neil Considered Stepping Away From The Game Multiple Times, Even Speaking To His Coach, Bill Parcells. Parcells Gave Him The Wisdom That “everyone Has A Demon In Their Head, And We Have To Beat That Demon. Beat The Demon!” After Being Released From The Cowboys, O’neil Spent Time With The Colts And Giants But Still Could Not Escape His Inner Demons. It Finally Became Too Much For Him To Handle, And He Decided To Walk Away From The Game. It Wasn’t Until Sometime Later That He Was Finally Diagnosed: Bipolar I Disorder. Finally, Everything Made Sense. Under My Helmet Is The Personal Story Of A Man Working Every Day To Prove His Worth While Struggling With A Debilitating—and Undiagnosed—mental Illness. O’neil’s Voice Is Honest And Open As He Shares His Battles And The Steps He’s Taken To Overcome Adversity. A former NFL football player reveals the true story of his battle with mental illness in this brave and honest memoir. Ever since he was a child, Keith O’Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed O’Neil, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about—aside from his anxiety. After excelling at Northern Arizona University, the Dallas Cowboys offered O’Neil an invite to rookie mini-camp. He made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true. But sleepless nights, constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts clouded his mind. O’Neil considered stepping away from the game multiple times, even speaking to his coach, Bill Parcells, who gave him the wisdom that “Everyone has a demon in their head, and we have to beat that demon.” Sadly, O’Neil’s demons were too strong, and ultimately forced him to walk away from the game. It wasn’t until later that he was finally diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. Under My Helmet is the deeply personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating—and undiagnosed—mental illness. In this revealing and inspirational memoir, O’Neil details the steps he’s taken to overcome adversity with the hopes of helping others find the strength to fight their own battles with mental illness.