These Walls Between Us: A Memoir of a Friendship Across Race and Class

From an author of the best-selling women's health classic Our Bodies, Ourselves comes a bracingly forthright memoir about a life-long friendship across racial and class divides. A white woman's necessary learning, and a Black woman's complex evolution, make These Walls Between Us a "tender, honest, cringeworthy and powerful read." (Debby Irving, author, Waking Up White .) In the mid-1950s, a fifteen-year-old African American teenager named Mary White (now Mary Norman) traveled north from Virginia to work for twelve-year-old Wendy Sanford's family as a live-in domestic for their summer vacation by a remote New England beach. Over the years, Wendy's family came to depend on Mary's skilled service—and each summer, Mary endured the extreme loneliness of their elite white beachside retreat in order to support her family. As the Black "help" and the privileged white daughter, Mary and Wendy were not slated for friendship. But years later—each divorced, each a single parent, Mary now a rising officer in corrections and Wendy a feminist health activist—they began to walk the beach together after dark, talking about their children and their work, and a friendship began to grow. Based on decades' worth of visits, phone calls, letters, and texts between Mary and Wendy, These Walls Between Us chronicles the two women's friendship, with a focus on what Wendy characterizes as her "oft-stumbling efforts, as a white woman, to see Mary more fully and to become a more dependable friend." The book examines obstacles created by Wendy's upbringing in a narrow, white, upper-class world; reveals realities of domestic service rarely acknowledged by white employers; and draws on classic works by the African American writers whose work informed and challenged Wendy along the way. Though Wendy is the work's primary author, Mary read and commented on every draft—and together, the two friends hope their story will incite and support white readers to become more informed and accountable friends across the racial divides created by white supremacy and to become active in the ongoing movement for racial justice. **From an author of the best-selling women's health classic __Our Bodies, Ourselves__ comes a bracingly forthright memoir about a life-long friendship across racial and class divides. A white woman's necessary learning, and a Black woman's complex evolution, make __These Walls Between Us__ a "tender, honest, cringeworthy and powerful read." (Debby Irving, author, __Waking Up White__.)**In the mid-1950s, a fifteen-year-old African American teenager named Mary White (now Mary Norman) traveled north from Virginia to work for twelve-year-old Wendy Sanford's family as a live-in domestic for their summer vacation by a remote New England beach. Over the years, Wendy's family came to depend on Mary's skilled service—and each summer, Mary endured the extreme loneliness of their elite white beachside retreat in order to support her family. As the Black "help" and the privileged white daughter, Mary and Wendy were not slated for friendship. But years later—each divorced, each a single parent, Mary now a rising officer in corrections and Wendy a feminist health activist—they began to walk the beach together after dark, talking about their children and their work, and a friendship began to grow.Based on decades' worth of visits, phone calls, letters, and texts between Mary and Wendy, chronicles the two women's friendship, with a focus on what Wendy characterizes as her "oft-stumbling efforts, as a white woman, to see Mary more fully and to become a more dependable friend." The book examines obstacles created by Wendy's upbringing in a narrow, white, upper-class world; reveals realities of domestic service rarely acknowledged by white employers; and draws on classic works by the African American writers whose work informed and challenged Wendy along the way. Though Wendy is the work's primary author, Mary read and commented on every draft—and together, the two friends hope their story will incite and support white readers to become more informed and accountable friends across the racial divides created by white supremacy and to become active in the ongoing movement for racial justice. In Beachwalk At Nightfall Established Feminist Author Wendy Sanford, Who Is White, Reflects On Her Complex Lifelong Friendship With Mary Norman, Who Is Black--exploring Her Formation In A Narrow World Of Class And Race Privilege, Lifting Up The Writings And Social Movements That Changed Her Views And Her Life, And Examining A Sixty-year Interracial Friendship That Evolved In The Context Of White Supremacy. A white woman reflects on a sixty-year interracial friendship lived in a context of white supremacy.