The Way We Never Were : American Families and the Nostalgia Trap

Acclaimed Historian Stephanie Coontz Provides A Myth-shattering Examination Of Two Centuries Of The American Family, Sweeping Away Misconceptions About The Past That Cloud Current Debates About Domestic Life. Introduction To The 2016 Edition -- The Way We Wish We Were: Defining The Family Crisis -- 'leave It To Beaver' And 'ozzie And Harriet': American Families In The 1950s -- 'my Mother Was A Saint': Individualism, Gender Myths, And The Problem Of Love -- We Always Stood On Our Own Two Feet: Self-reliance And The American Family -- Strong Families, The Foundation Of A Virtuous Society: Family Values And Civic Responsibility -- A Man's Home Is His Castle: The Family And Outside Intervention -- Bra-burners And Family Bashers: Feminism, Working Women, Consumerism, And The Family -- 'first Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Mary With A Baby Carriage': Marriage, Sex, And Reproduction -- Toxic Parents, Supermoms, And Absent Fathers: Putting Parenting In Perspective -- Pregnant Girls, Wilding Boys, Crack Babies, And The Underclass: The Myth Of Black Family Collapse -- The Crisis Reconsidered -- Epilogue To The 2016 Edition: For Better And Worse: Family Trends In The Twenty-first Century -- Acknowledgments -- Notes -- Index. Stephanie Coontz. First Published In 1992. Includes Bibliographical References (pages 413-514) And Index. This myth-shattering examination of two centuries of American family life banishes the misconceptions about the past that cloud current debate about "family values." "Leave It to Beaver" was not a documentary, Stephanie Coontz points out; neither the 1950s nor any other moment from our past presents workable models of how to conduct our personal lives today. Without minimizing the serious new problems in American families, Coontz warns that a consoling nostalgia for a largely mythical past of "traditional values" is a trap that can only cripple our capacity to solve today's problems. From "a man's home was his castle" to "traditional families never asked for a handout," this provocative book explodes cherished illusions about the past. Organized around a series of myths and half-truths that burden modern families, the book sheds new light on such contemporary concerns as parenting, privacy, love, the division of labor along gender lines, the black family, feminism, and sexual practice. Fascinating facts abound: In the nineteenth century, the age of sexual consent in some states was nine or ten, and alcoholism and drug abuse were more rampant than today ... Teenage childbearing peaked in the fabulous family-oriented 1950s ... Marriages in pioneer days lasted a shorter time than they do now. Placing current family dilemmas in the context of far-reaching economic, political, and demographic changes, The Way We Never Were shows that people have not suddenly and inexplicably "gone bad" and points to ways that we can help families do better. Seeing our own family pains as part of a larger social predicament means that we can stop the cycle of guilt or blame and face the real issues constructively, Coontz writes. The historical evidence reveals that families have always been in flux and often in crisis, and that families have been most successful wherever they have built meaningful networks beyond their own boundaries The definitive edition of the classic, myth-shattering history of the American family Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man's home has never been his castle, the "male breadwinner marriage" is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were , acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues, and neither does any other era from our cultural past. This revised edition includes a new introduction and epilogue, exploring how the clash between growing gender equality and rising economic inequality is reshaping family life, marriage, and male-female relationships in our modern era. More relevant than ever, The Way We Never Were is a potent corrective to dangerous nostalgia for an American tradition that never really existed. "The Way We Never Were is an examination of two centuries of family life that shatter the myths that burden modern families and make them long for the past." "In a new introduction, Coontz examines key cultural events since the original 1992 publication - from Bill Clinton's sexual transgressions to high school shootings across the nation - and reexamines the myths that continue to compel the American people to long for a time that never was."--BOOK JACKET. The Way We Never Were examines two centuries of American family life and shatters a series of myths and half-truths that burden modern families. Placing current family dilemmas in the context of far-reaching economic, political, and demographic changes, Coontz sheds new light on such contemporary concerns as parenting, privacy, love, the division of labor along gender lines, the black family, feminism, and sexual practice. WHEN I begin teaching a course on family history, I often ask my students to write down ideas that spring to mind when they think of the "traditional family."