The War on Moms : On Life in a Family-Unfriendly Nation

"A stinging account of how public policy and private businesses have failed to adapt to working mothers."--Jennifer Ludden, NPRWhy life is harder on American families than it's been in decades—the book that takes the blame away from moms and puts it where it really belongsPressed for time and money, unable to find decent affordable daycare, wracked with guilt at falling short of the mythic supermom ideal-working and non-working American mothers alike have it harder today than they have in decades, and they are worse off than many of their peers around the world. Why? Because they're raising their kids in a family-unfriendly nation that virtually sets them up to fail. The War on Moms exposes the stress put on families by an outdated system still built around the idea that women can afford not to work. It tells the truth that overworked, stressed-out American moms need to hear—that they're not alone, and they're not to blame.Exposes a lack of reasonable and flexible work opportunities as the real cause of the supposed rift between employed and stay-at-home mothersExplodes the myths about supermoms, slacker dads, opt-out moms, bootstrap moms, daycare options, and make-money-from-home scamsUncovers the widespread, brutal reality of having no paid maternity leaveOffers portraits of real women—across social classes and across the country—who are struggling with issues that will strike a familiar chord with most AmericansExplains why American women have it hard and why it's not going to get any easier until the country dramatically changes courseThe War on Moms turns the "mommy wars" debate on its head by arguing that a mother's real "enemy" is not other women, but a nationwide indifference to the cultural and economic realities facing parents and families in the United States today. "There may not be any shooting going on, but plenty of American mothers feel like they're under siege. Between inadequate and, in many cases, nonexistent maternity leave, prohibitively expensive child care, and employers who are neither required nor incline to make any concessions to the needs of working mothers, the American mom is routinely forced to choose between caring for her family and keeping her job--and the desperately needed income and benefits that go with it. These are not simply the problems of individuals; they have a serious negative impact on America as a whole. In The War on Moms, respected journalist Sharon Lerner reveals the great sea of beleaguered and overburdened people in America--mostly women, but some men, too--stuck between the need to support their families and the desire to live a decent life with them. Single or part of a couple in which both partners work, they have no one at home to handle the inevitable overflow of domestic responsibilities, leaving them impossibly squeezed by the combination of work and family that constitutes everyday life. Lerner connects this dismaying trend with the fact that the remarkable three-decade trajectory of women's advances in the working world has begun to flatten out, stall, and even decline in the United States in recent years. Lerner combines compelling and heart-wrenching interviews with stressed-out, struggling, financially-strapped moms--She had plenty to interview--with convincing statistical evidence of the size, severity, and impact of this growing problem. She exposes some of the most popular assumptions about the imbalance of work and life in this country as oversimplifications--and sometimes outright fictions. Perhaps the most insidious are that women are to blame for their problems; that male partners alone are the root of the problem; and that high-end employers could solve everything if they wanted to. She also exposes the myth of the feud between working mothers and stay-at-home moms. What do America's moms need that they're not getting? According to Lerner, guaranteed paid maternity leave; decent, affordable child care; health coverage; and good, flexible work options would make a huge difference. She shows that generous policies to support women in other industrial nations have increased fertility as well as women's participation in the work force--and makes the case that these supports could lessen both the depression among mothers and the financial stresses that many families experience after childbirth in the United States. Nobody officially declared a war on motherhood, but the result couldn't be much worse if they had. Read The War on Moms and find out what must be done to stop the fighting." -- Provided by publisher Advance Praise for The War Moms

"Sharon Lerner has turned her guns on the futility of the swanky 'Mommy Wars' to reveal that the real war on mommies has little to do with wealthy women who opt out or the quest for the perfect au pair. The real war on American mothers isn't cute and it's not making the front page of the nation's newspapers. Lerner tracks a war on mommies that is external, systemic, and brutal, and it stems from maternity leave, to child care, to part-time employment policies that have made balancing work and family virtually impossible for real women. Every mom who worries about managing a workload, a home, and a family needs to read this book. The laundry can wait."
—Dahlia Lithwick, Senior Editor, Slate

"Packed with information and firsthand reporting, The War on Moms is eye-opening reading for anyone who cares about what's happening to women, children, and families in the current economic crisis."
—Katha Pollitt, author of Learning to Drive and Virginity or Death!

"Out of over 170 countries, there are 4 countries that have no paid leave for new mothers: Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, Liberia, and the United States of America. Shocking. The War on Moms tells us about the huge challenge mothers and families face in this nation. It is time for U.S. policy and business practice to catch up with the rest of the world and make it possible for all parents to both care for their children as well as support them."
—Joan Blades, President, MomsRising.org

""A stinging account of how public policy and private businesses have failed to adapt to working mothers."" --Jennifer Ludden, NPR Why life is harder on American families than it's been in decadesthe book that takes the blame away from moms and puts it where it really belongs Pressed for time and money, unable to find decent affordable daycare, wracked with guilt at falling short of the mythic supermom ideal-working and non-working American mothers alike have it harder today than they have in decades, and they are worse off than many of their peers around the world. Why? Because they're raising their kids in a family-unfriendly nation that virtually sets them up to fail. The War on Moms exposes the stress put on families by an outdated system still built around the idea that women can afford not to work. It tells the truth that overworked, stressed-out American moms need to hearthat they're not alone, and they're not to blame. Falling : when needs bring families down Supermom returns : doing it all without having it all Til dishes do us part: the problem with blaming men The problems we wish we had : a lot of choices, none of them good Testing the bootstraps : what exactly is keeping the women of mississippi down? Congratulations and back to work : keeping mothers and babies apart A good daycare is hard to find : the working mom crisis The illusive part-time solution : the stay-at-home mom crisis Baby strike : the international motherhood experiment The blame game : how and why we wound up in last place.