The teen whisperer : how to break through the silence and secrecy of teenage life

Mike Linderman is a teen therapist unlike any other. A real-life cowboy, he wakes up at the crack of dawn, works the cattle on his ranch, and then counsels some of the country's most troubled teens, approaching them with a unique blend of down-home honesty, straight-talk discipline, and pure intention that is rarely found in a therapist's office. Most of the teens Mike treats are angry, abused, violent, and dangerous, yet despite their difficult pasts, he has achieved extraordinary success with them, helping to turn their lives around and earning him the nickname the "Teen Whisperer." In this book, he shares the secrets behind his success with parents everywhere, demonstrating how his regimen of hard work, integrity, and effective communication has turned seriously at-risk kids into loving, well-balanced, and productive teens. More than just a plan to rein in bad behavior, The Teen Whisperer deconstructs the emotional barriers that adolescence has placed between you and your child, helping you work with teens on their level—instead of simply treating them as subordinates. With this straightforward and open perspective, both you and your teen will learn to offer each other mutual respect and kindness, as you work together to heal the troubled hearts of your family. Publishers Weekly Linderman, clinical director of Spring Creek Lodge Academy, an alternative school for at-risk kids, teams up with writer Brozek to share lessons learned from 10 years of success with troubled teens. His clients-described in a number of case studies-are extreme examples of kids who turn to alcohol, drugs or other high-risk behaviors, but their stories provide insight into the volatile nature of the teen psyche as well as the importance of solid family relationships. Linderman relies on a model of five primary needs that teens require: survival, freedom, power, belonging and fun. He guides readers through each, describing how teens can act out when a particular need is not appropriately met (e.g., a lack of belonging may lead to alcohol abuse in an effort to gain status with peers). Linderman counsels parents to stay connected to their teens' lives. (At times, however, Linderman's approach itself seems a bit extreme, as when he asks his own teenage daughter to hand over her cellphone so he can converse with her friend.) Along with Linderman's philosophy on dealing with teens, the book includes useful information on warning signs that may indicate such problems as depression or substance abuse. Parents will benefit from both the clinical and personal experiences of a man who respects teens and whom teens respect. (Oct.) Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information Title Page 3 Dedication Page 4 Contents 5 Acknowledgments 7 How to Use This Book 9 Foreword 11 Part One: Meet the Teen Whisperer 15 Chapter One: You Can Call Me Mr. Mike 17 Chapter Two: Understanding Reality Therapy 36 Part Two: The Five Primary Needs of Your Teen 53 Chapter Three: Survival 55 Chapter Four: Fun 74 Chapter Five: Freedom 88 Chapter Six: Power 99 Chapter Seven: Belonging 110 Part Three: When Teens’ Needs Aren’t Being Met 121 Chapter Eight: The Emotional Consequences of Unmet Needs 123 Chapter Nine: Acting Out Behavior I: Eating Disorders, Drinking, and Drugs 134 Chapter Ten: Acting Out Behavior II: Violence and Sex 153 Chapter Eleven: Acting Out Turns Inward: Depression and Suicide 176 Part Four: Developing the Right Approach 187 Chapter Twelve: Having the Right Mindset 189 Chapter Thirteen: Showing the Right Mindset through Praise 209 Chapter Fourteen: Communicating with Your Teen 222 Chapter Fifteen: Talkin’ the Right Talk 234 Chapter Sixteen: Making the Right Set of Rules 254 Chapter Seventeen: Riding Herd on Your Understanding 272 Epilogue 291 Appendix A 295 Appendix B 303 Appendix C 305 Index 311 About the Authors 317 Credits 318 Copyright Notice 319 About the Publisher 320 Focusing on the Five Primary Needs of Teens (Survival, Fun, Freedom, Power, and Belonging), this title demonstrates the importance each of these concepts plays in teen's family life and the negative impact that occurs when a family is incapable of fulfilling these Needs. Offers advice for parents of troubled teens, discussing the five primary needs of teenagers and various acting out behaviors and including suggestions on communication and rules.