The Small Talk Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Conversationalists

Small talk is an inevitability of life. Millions of business deals have been signed, millions of friendships have been formed, and millions of relationships have been turned to romance, all because of small talk. In essence, become proficient in small talk or get left behind socially and professionally. If you’re not good at small talk, it may seem like an amorphous puzzle that you can’t quite figure out. It’s especially frustrating when some people make it seem so easy. Small talk can be easy for you too. Once you learn and practice the techniques of the highly successful conversationalists, you’ll be able to upgrade your conversations (and your life) to the next level. Titlepage 2 Also Available 3 Halftitle Page 4 Copyright 5 Dedication 6 Frontmatter 7 Contents 9 WHO ARE THE HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL CONVERSATIONALISTS? 12 A BRIEF NOTE ABOUT MAKING SMALL TALK 13 SECTION 1: PREPARING FOR SMALL TALK SUCCESS 15 1. BOSSES OPTIMIZE THEIR LIFE FOR SUCCESS 16 2. BOSSES ACCEPT THE SMALL TALK MINDSET 18 3. BOSSES DON'T OVERTHINK IT 21 4. BOSSES SEE THE HIDDEN SCRIPTS OF CONVERSATION 24 5. BOSSES UNDERSTAND THE FIRST LEVEL OF SMALL TALK 27 6. BOSSES UNDERSTAND THE SECOND LEVEL OF SMALL TALK 30 7. BOSSES UNDERSTAND THE THIRD LEVEL OF SMALL TALK 33 8. BOSSES ALTERNATE BETWEEN SERIOUS AND PLAYFUL 36 9. BOSSES FIX MAJOR PERSONALITY FLAWS FIRST 38 10. BOSSES DON'T FORGET THE NONVERBAL 40 11. BOSSES MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD 42 12. BOSSES FOCUS ON EMOTION MORE THAN FACTS 44 SECTION 2: INITIATING NEW TOPICS 47 13. BOSSES GO FIRST AND GAIN THE ADVANTAGE 48 14. BOSSES MAINTAIN WITH FEELER STATEMENTS 50 15. BOSSES CONNECT QUICKLY 53 16. BOSSES AREN'T AFRAID TO BE GENUINE 56 17. BOSSES FOLLOW THE FOOFAAE FRAMEWORK 58 18. FOOFAAE: A CASE STUDY 61 SECTION 3: MASTERING THE FOOFAAE FRAMEWORK 63 19. BOSSES ARE COMFORTABLE WITH FEELINGS 64 20. BOSSES ARE SUPER OBSERVANT 67 21. BOSSES ARE OPINIONATED 69 22. BOSSES SPRINKLE OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING 72 23. BOSSES ADJUST THEIR OPINIONS ACCORDINGLY 75 24. BOSSES PASS THE OPINION SPEED TEST 77 25. BOSSES OFFER PLAYFUL OPINIONS 81 26. BOSSES ARE FACT HUNTERS 84 27. BOSSES KNOW HOW TO TAPP 86 28. BOSSES ARE ACTION ORIENTED 88 29. BOSSES MASTER THEIR OWN AUTOBIOGRAPHY 90 30. THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY WORKSHEET 93 31. BOSSES MAINTAIN WITH EVENT TIMELINES 96 32. BOSSES MASTER THEIR OWN EVENT TIMELINE 99 SECTION 4: KEEPING A CONVERSATION FLOWING 102 33. BOSSES STEER WITH CONTROL COMMENTS 103 34. BOSSES KEEP THE FLOW WITH SMALL TALK FILLERS 107 35. BOSSES CONTROL WITH QUESTIONS 110 36. BOSSES ASK FLOW QUESTIONS 113 37. BOSSES ASK THE FULL RANGE OF FOOFAAE QUESTIONS 116 38. BOSSES MAINTAIN THE FLOW WITH QUESTION ASSISTANTS 119 39. BOSSES PAINT INTERESTING SELF-PORTRAITS 122 40. BOSSES DISCLOSE SMALL CHUNKS 125 41. BOSSES PAINT SELF-PORTRAITS CONTAINING FRIENDS 128 42. BOSSES OWN THEIR FLAWS 130 SECTION 5: CONNECTING AND GROWING SMALL TALK 133 43. BOSSES KNOW HOW TO CONNECT 134 44. BOSSES KNOW HOW TO CONNECT WITH FOOFAAE 137 45. BOSSES LOOK FOR FREE INFORMATION 140 46. BOSSES DEVELOP THEIR KEYWORD RADAR 142 47. BOSSES HUNT FOR HOT BUTTONS 145 48. BOSSES OFFER SOMETHING TO CHEW ON 148 49. BOSSES SPRINKLE IN CONNECTABLE KEYWORDS 151 50. BOSSES MAINTAIN SMALL TALK WITH CONNECTABLE COMMENTS 154 51. BOSSES MAINTAIN SMALL TALK WITH CONNECTABLE OPINIONS 157 52. BOSSES ENGAGE WITH LIGHT PROBLEMS 160 53. BOSSES AREN'T CONNECTION BLOCKERS 162 54. BOSSES KNOW THE GOLDEN RATIO OF CONVERSATION 164 55. BOSSES ARE FANTASTIC LISTENERS 167 56. BOSSES ECHO MESSAGES 169 57. BOSSES HELP A TOPIC GROW 172 58. BOSSES CAN CARRY A CONVERSATION 175 CONVERSATION SAMPLES 178