The North Beach Diet : Add Belly and Hip Fat Instantly with Batter Fried Twinkies and More

Over 60 high-calorie recipes made with lots of butter, refined sugar, white flour and chocolate. Virtual exercises: NordicSnack, Pie-lates, "Relaxin To the Oldies. Stop dieting & start living. Make up the rules as you go! "I gained 145 pounds in just six months, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my life . . . now you can too." ?__The North Beach Diet__ author Kim Bailey Testimonials: "I've been on just about every diet there is, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Dr. Phil, Richard Simmons, No Fat, All Fat, No Carbs, All Carbs, you name it, I've tried it . . . nothing worked . . . I kept losing weight. Finally! The North Beach Diet! I increased 2 dress sizes in just 10 days. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ?Susan Merrill "Krispy Kreme Donuts, Caramel Popcorn, Sara Lee Pound Cake with Ben & Jerry's Triple Chocolate Cookie Crunch . . . it was darn tough for us to make up our minds which of these favorites to consume while watching late night TV. __The North Beach Diet__ showed us how we could get them all in by simple planning." ?Bill and Susan Kynes, personal fitness trainers.

this Parody Of The Ubiquitous South Beach Diet That Celebrates The Joys Of Sugar, Butter, And All Things Carbohydrate.
atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, Or The Ever-present South Beach All Promise The Same Things-starvation, Deprivation, Self-denial, Unhappiness, Irritation, And Most Importantly, Failure As You Seek The Elusive And Unattainable Emaciation Of Hollywood Stars.  Why Go That Tragic Route When Now You Can Have It All-doughnuts, Milkshakes, Double Meat And Cheese Burgers, And Best Of All Deep Fried Snickers Bars On The Brand New North Beach Diet?  Author Kim Bailey, The Poster Child Of This Groundbreaking New Food Plan, Says It Best...  I Gained 145 Pounds, Became Emotionally Insulated, And Allowed Food To Control Every Aspect Of My Life...now You Can Too!

this Parody Of The Ubiquitous South Beach Diet Celebrates The Joys Of Sugar, Butter, And All Things Carbohydrate. This High-fat, High-salt, Real Sugar Movement Is The Perfect Backlash To The Overwhelming Barrage Of Diet Plans That Dominate Bookstore Shelves And Bedside Tables. It Is Filled With Helpful Tips, Including . . .
* Slower Is Always Better
* Always Use Food As An Emotional Outlet
* Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts

exercise Is All Virtual In This Innovative Body-by-cake Program With Routines Such As: Pie-laties, Nordicsnack, And Cap'n Crunches. 

the Robust Gourmet Section Of The Book Is One Of Its Best Features With Over 60 High Calorie Recipes Made With Lots Of Real Butter, Refined Sugar, White Flour, And Chocolate.  You'll Be Entertained By A Few Of These Like The Battered Fried Twinkies, Biscuits And Chocolate Gravy, And The 7-layer Nabisco English Trifle, And Delighted By Most, As You Enjoy The Sumptuous Comfort-food Offerings Of Cognac Braised Short-ribs, Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings, And Sweet Potato Pie.

 

publishers Weekly

every Day Is Like Thanksgiving Day On The North Beach Diet, Proclaims Bailey's Enthusiastic Introduction. But Readers Well-trained In (but Sick Of) Calorie Counting And Carb Cutting May Wonder How That's Possible. Well, It's Pretty Easy, Actually, Since The Point Of The North Beach Diet Is To Become As Fat And Lazy As Possible. (it's For Those Who Dream About What It Would Be Like To Be Ogled Admiringly By People As You Sashay Down The Beach With A Giant-size Bag Of Nutter-butters In One Hand And A Large Frosty In Another.) Sample Advice: Plan Meals In Advance To Make Sure You're Getting The Most Calories You Can, Curtail Your Exercise Program And Carry High-fat Snacks With You Wherever You Go. Recipes Include Medicinal Chocolate Cake With Vanilla Butter Cream Icing; Batter Fried Twinkies; And Pulled Pork Butt So Good, You'll Want To Kick Yourself. As Far As Humor Writing Goes, This Volume Is A One-trick-pony; On The Other Hand, Some Of The Recipes Are Pretty Scrumptious, And No One Will Ever Be Able To Argue That This Diet, If Followed Correctly, Doesn't Live Up To Its Fat-making Promises. (jan.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.