The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition. ; How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of__real__communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations.

one Person Talks; The Other Listens. It's So Basic That We Take It For Granted. Unfortunately, Most Of Us Think Of Ourselves As Better Listeners Than We Actually Are. Why Do We So Often Fail To Connect When Speaking With Family Members, Romantic Partners, Colleagues, Or Friends? How Do Emotional Reactions Get In The Way Of real Communication? This Thoughtful, Witty, And Empathic Book Has Already Helped Over 100,000 Readers Break Through Conflicts And Transform Their Personal And Professional Relationships. Experienced Therapist Mike Nichols Provides Vivid Examples, Easy-to-learn Techniques, And Practical Exercises For Becoming A Better Listener--and Making Yourself Heard And Understood, Even In Difficult Situations.

publishers Weekly

what Is True Listening And Why, The Author Asks, Has It Become A Near-rarity In Modern Life? Nichols (family Healing) Shows How To Utilize This ``art By Which We Use Empathy To Reach The Space Across Us'' To Improve And Repair Relationships With Spouses, Lovers, Relatives, Children, Friends And Colleagues, And Even How To Boost One's Own ``listenability.'' He Also Explains What Listening Isn't, Explaining Why People Don't Listen And Listing Obstacles To Listening (especially Defensiveness Owing To Emotional Overreaction). Humor, True-life Examples And Simple Exercises Make This A Practical And Even Entertaining Self-help Guide, Although Nichols Can Be A Bit Long-winded And Preachy. (mar.)

Content: Introduction -- pt. 1. The Yearning to Be Understood: "Did you hear what I said?": why listening is so important ; "Thanks for listening": how listening shapes us and connects us to each other ; "Why don't people listen?": how communication breaks down -- pt. 2. The Real Reasons People Don't Listen: "When is it my turn?"--the heart of listening: the struggle to suspend our own needs ; "You hear only what you want to hear": how hidden assumptions prejudice listening ; "Why do you always overreact?!": how emotionality makes us defensive -- pt. 3. Getting Through to Each Other: "Take your time--I'm listening": how to let go of your own needs and listen ; "I never knew you felt that way": empathy begins with openness ; "I can see this is really upsetting you": how to defuse emotional reactivity -- pt. 4. Listening in Context: "We never talk anymore": listening between intimate partners ; "Nobody around here ever listens to me!": how to listen and be heard within the family ; From "Do I have to?" to "that's not fair!": listening to children and teenagers ; "I knew you'd understand": being able to hear friends and colleagues -- Epilogue.

One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 100,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations.

Biography

Michael P. Nichols, PhD, Professor of Psychology at the College of William and Mary, is the author of Stop Arguing with Your Kids, among numerous other books. He is a well-known therapist and a popular speaker.

One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations. "This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 100,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations"--Page 4 of cover A thorough and detailed guide to listening by a psychoanalyst and family therapist, with many examples, and exercises at the end of each chapter. The focus is on relationships in a wide variety of contexts, and on family therapy.