The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness : How to Express Your Needs and Deal with Conflict While Keeping a Kind Heart

Speaking up for yourself has benefits, but it has costs, too. Many people who struggle with assertiveness are paralyzed by worries that they’ll seem mean, petty, or that they will hurt the other person’s feelings. Even though they want to speak up, they may keep their true needs and opinions to themselves because of these fears—eventually building stress, resentment, and alienation. The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness does not require that readers ignore the needs of others and focus solely on their own desires. Rather, this unique blend of cognitive behavioral therapy-based assertiveness training and Buddhist psychology helps readers practice assertiveness skills while caring deeply about the welfare of others. This book helps readers develop a form of assertiveness that emphasizes collaboration, negotiation, and compromise. It focuses on speaking up for the benefit of others and speaking up for the relationship, not just one’s own needs. In this way, readers learn to assert their needs in ways that match their compassionate value systems. This book is the ideal assertiveness guide for those who are afraid of rejection, have a deep concern for how others perceive them, often feel judged by others, or have difficulty expressing their feelings and needs. Readers learn to apply assertiveness skills in all domains of their lives, including in romantic relationships, as parents, at work, and in social settings. Speaking up for yourself has benefits, but it has costs, too. Many people who struggle with assertiveness are paralyzed by worries that they'll seem mean, petty, or that they will hurt the other person's feelings. Even though they want to speak up, they may keep their true needs and opinions to themselves because of these fears#8212;eventually building stress, resentment, and alienation. The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness does not require that readers ignore the needs of others and focus solely on their own desires. Rather, this unique blend of cognitive behavioral therapy-based assertiveness training and Buddhist psychology helps readers practice assertiveness skills while caring deeply about the welfare of others. This book helps readers develop a form of assertiveness that emphasizes collaboration, negotiation, and compromise. It focuses on speaking up for the benefit of others and speaking up for the relationship, not just one's own needs. In this way, readers learn to assert their needs in ways that match their compassionate value systems. This book is the ideal assertiveness guide for those who are afraid of rejection, have a deep concern for how others perceive them, often feel judged by others, or have difficulty expressing their feelings and needs. Readers learn to apply assertiveness skills in all domains of their lives, including in romantic relationships, as parents, at work, and in social settings Acknowledgments Introduction Part 1 Learning about Yourself and How Compassionate Assertiveness Can Help You Chapter 1 Exploring Your Interpersonal Style and How You Became the Person You Are Chapter 2 Compassionate Assertiveness: Improving Communication and Solving Problems with an Open Heart Part 2 Training Your Mind and Your Heart Chapter 3 Gratitude: Foster Appreciation to Reduce Negativity Chapter 4 Equanimity: Stand Firm, Compromise, or Let Go Chapter 5 Courage: Face Your Fear of Conflict Chapter 6 Forgiveness: Free Yourself from Anger and Pain Part 3 Strengthening Your Interpersonal Skills Chapter 7 Using Mindfulness and Meditation to Calm Your Body and Your Mind Chapter 8 Communicating with Care: How to Understand and Be Understood Chapter 9 Using Negotiation Skills to Resolve Conflicts Part 4 Applying Compassionate Assertiveness in Love and in Life Chapter 10 Compassionate Assertiveness for Couples Chapter 11 Compassionate Assertiveness with Your Family Chapter 12 Compassionate Assertiveness in the Outside World Afterword Resources References Acknowledgments Introduction Learning about yourself and how compassionate Exploring your interpersonal style and how you became the person you are Compassionate assertiveness : improving communication and solving problems with an open heart Training your mind and your heart Gratitude : foster appreciation to reduce negativity Equanimity : stand firm, compromise, or let go Courage : face your fear of conflict Forgiveness : free yourself from anger and pain Strengthening your interpersonal skills Using mindfulness and meditation to calm your body and your mind Communicating with care : how to understand and be understood Using negotiation skills to resolve conflicts Applying compassionate assertiveness in love and in life Compassionate assertiveness for couples Compassionate assertiveness with your family Compassionate assertiveness in the outside world Afterword References Resources. Helps readers to develop a form of assertiveness that emphasizes collaboration, negotiation, and compromise. This title focuses on speaking up for the benefit of others and speaking up for the relationship, not just one's own needs. It also helps readers to learn assert their needs in ways that match their compassionate value systems. Explains how to be assertive while still caring about the feelings and welfare of others, and demonstrates how to apply that assertiveness in such aspects of life as work, romantic relationships, and family.