The girl in the yellow poncho : a memoir

At five years old, Kristal Brent Zook sat on the steps of a Venice Beach, California, motel trying to make sense of her white father’s abandonment, which left her feeling unworthy of a man’s love and of white protection. Raised by her working-class African American mother and grandmother, Zook was taught not to count on anyone, especially men. Men leave. Men disappoint. In adulthood she became a feminist, activist, and “race woman” journalist in New York City. Despite her professional success, something was missing. Coming to terms with her identity was a constant challenge. The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is Zook’s coming-of-age tale about what it means to be biracial in America. Throughout, she grapples with in-betweenness, while also facing childhood sexual assault, economic insecurity, and multigenerational alcoholism and substance abuse on both the Black and white sides of her family. Her story is one of strong Black women—herself, her cousin, her mother, and her grandmother—and the generational cycles of oppression and survival that seemingly defined their lives. Setting out on an inner journey that takes her across oceans and continents, Zook tells the story of a little girl who never gives up on love, even long after it seems to have been destroyed. In the end she triumphs, reconciling with her father and mother to create the family of her dreams through forgiveness and sheer force of will. A testament to the power of settling into one’s authentic identity, this book tells a story of a daughter’s lifelong yearning, a mother’s rediscovery of lost love, and the profound power of atonement and faith to heal a broken family. Summary:"At five years old, Kristal Brent Zook sat on the steps of a Venice Beach, California, motel trying to make sense of her White father's abandonment, which left her feeling unworthy of a man's love and of White protection. Raised by her working-class African American mother and grandmother, Zook was taught not to count on anyone, especially men. Men leave. Men disappoint. In adulthood she became a feminist, activist, and "race woman" journalist in New York City. Despite her professional success, something was missing. Coming to terms with her identity was a constant challenge.The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is Zook's coming-of-age tale about what it means to be biracial in America. Throughout, she grapples with in-betweenness, childhood sexual assault, economic insecurity, and multiple generations of alcoholism and substance abuse on both the Black and White sides of her family. Her story is one of strong Black women-herself, her cousin, her mother, and her grandmother-and the generational cycles of oppression and survival that seemingly define their lives. Setting out on an inner journey that takes her across oceans and continents, Zook tells the story of a little girl who never gives up on love, even long after it seems to have been destroyed. In the end she triumphs, reconciling with her father and mother to create the family of her dreams through forgiveness and sheer force of will. A testament to the power of settling into one's own authentic identify, this book tells a story of a daughter's lifelong yearning, a mother's rediscovery of lost love, and the profound power of atonement and faith to heal a broken family"-- Provided by publisher At five years old, Kristal Brent Zook sat on the steps of a Venice Beach, California, motel trying to make sense of her white fathers abandonment, which left her feeling unworthy of a mans love and of white protection. Raised by her working-class African American mother and grandmother, Zook was taught not to count on anyone, especially men. Men leave. Men disappoint. In adulthood she became a feminist, activist, and race woman journalist in New York City. Despite her professional success, something was missing. Coming to terms with her identity was a constant challenge. The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is Zooks coming-of-age tale about what it means to be biracial in America. Throughout, she grapples with in-betweenness, childhood sexual assault, economic insecurity, and multiple generations of alcoholism and substance abuse on both the black and white sides of her family. Her story is one of strong black womenherself, her cousin, her mother, and her grandmotherand the generational cycles of oppression and survival that seemingly define their lives. Setting out on an inner journey that takes her across oceans and continents, Zook tells the story of a little girl who never gives up on love, even long after it seems to have been destroyed. In the end she triumphs, reconciling with her father and mother to create the family of her dreams through forgiveness and sheer force of will. A testament to the power of settling into ones own authentic identify, this book tells a story of a daughters lifelong yearning, a mothers rediscovery of lost love, and the profound power of atonement and faith to heal a broken family. Contents 7 Preface 9 Acknowledgments 11 Kansas Avenue 15 Uncle Mervin 21 Noches 27 Laurel Canyon 31 Dra 37 Hollywood Boulevard 41 Rockin’ Out 47 College Bound 55 Activist 61 Light-Skinned 69 Taking a Chance 77 Dad 83 ABD 93 14 Detour 101 15 Writer 109 16 Pain 119 17 Australia 125 18 Hiding 133 19 An Adventure 141 20 Alfonso 147 21 A New Life 155 22 Multiracial 163 23 Forgiving 169 24 Memories 173 25 Vashon Island 177 26 Thanksgiving 185 27 Lisa 191 28 Rekindled 197 29 Rage 203 30 A Birthday 209 31 Mothers 213 32 Transformation 221 The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is journalist and scholar Kristal Brent Zook’s coming-of-age tale about what it means to be biracial in America where she grapples with in-betweenness, family trauma, and the profound power of atonement and faith to heal a broken family.