The Gift of Thanks : The Roots and Rituals of Gratitude

“A scholarly, many-angled examination of what gratitude is and how it functions in our lives” from the bestselling author of The Rituals of Dinner (The New York Times). Known as an “anthropologist of everyday life,” Margaret Visser has won numerous awards for illuminating the unexpected meanings of everyday objects and rituals. Now she turns her keen eye to another custom so ubiquitous that it often escapes notice: saying “Thank you.” What do we really mean by these two simple words? This fascinating inquiry into all aspects of gratitude explores such topics as the unyielding determination of parents to teach their children to thank; the difference between speaking the words and feeling them; and the ways different cultures handle the complex matters of giving, receiving, and returning favors and presents. Visser elucidates the fundamental opposition in our own culture between gift-giving and commodity exchange, as well as the similarities between gratitude and its opposite, vengefulness. The Gift of Thanks considers cultural history, including the modern battle of social scientists to pin down the notion of thankfulness and account for it, and the newly awakened scientific interest in the biological and evolutionary roots of emotions. With characteristic wit and erudition, Visser once again reveals the extraordinary in the everyday. “An anthropological and philosophical account of how and why we give thanks. . . . All delivered in elegant, clear prose. A book to be thankful for—sympathetic to human foible, deeply learned and a pleasure to read.” —Kirkus Reviews “A delightful and graceful gift of a book, for which any fortunate recipient will be thankful.” —Publishers Weekly "The Gift of Thanks" considers cultural history, including the modern battle of social scientists to pin down the notion of thankfulness and account for it, and the newly awakened scientific interest in the biological and evolutionary roots of emotions.;Pt. 1. Saying -- "What do you say?" -- No thanks -- It's only natural -- "I'm so sorry" -- "Thank you very much indeed" -- Pt. 2. Giving, receiving, returning -- Why give back? -- All wrapped up -- The three graces -- Give it away -- The give-and-take of everyday life -- Pt. 3. Meaning -- Votive offerings -- Unpacking "gratitude" -- The fourth law of nature -- After all -- Tipping -- Freedom and equality -- Gestures -- Memory and narrative -- Pt. 4. Feeling -- Emotions -- Feeling grateful -- Learning and lasting -- Pt. 5. Rejecting -- The marble-hearted fiend -- We are not grateful -- The poisoned gift -- Pt. 6. Recognizing -- Gratitude instead -- Partiality and transcendence -- Recognition.;This fascinating inquiry into all aspects of gratitude ranges from the unusual determination with which parents teach their children to thank, to the difference between speaking the words and feeling them, to the ways different cultures handle the complex matters of giving, receiving, and returning favors and presents. It also illuminates the modern battle of social scientists to pin down the notion of thankfulness and discover its biological and evolutionary roots. Known as an anthropologist of everyday life, Margaret Visser has, in five award-winning books, uncovered and illuminated the intriguing and unexpected meanings of everyday objects and habits. Now she turns her keen eye to another custom so frequently encountered that it often escapes saying Thank you. What do we really mean by these two simple words? This fascinating inquiry into all aspects of gratitude ranges from the unusual determination with which parents teach their children to thank, to the difference between speaking the words and feeling them, to the ways different cultures handle the complex matters of giving, receiving, and returning favors and presents. Visser illuminates the fundamental opposition in our own culture between gift-giving and commodity exchange, and the similarities between gratitude and its opposite, vengefulness. The Gift of Thanks considers cultural history, including the modern battle of social scientists to pin down the notion of thankfulness and account for it, and the newly awakened scientific interest in the biological and evolutionary roots of emotions. With her engaging combination of curiosity and erudition, Visser once again reveals the extraordinary in the everyday. Known as an 'anthropologist of everyday life,' Margaret Visser has, in five award-winning books, uncovered and illuminated the intriguing and unexpected meanings of everyday objects and habits. Now she turns her keen eye to another custom so frequently encountered that it often escapes notice: saying 'Thank you.' What do we really mean by these two simple words? This fascinating inquiry into all aspects of gratitude ranges from the unusual determination with which parents teach their children to thank, to the difference between speaking the words and feeling them, to the ways different cultures handle the complex matters of giving, receiving, and returning favors and presents. Visser illuminates the fundamental opposition in our own culture between gift-giving and commodity exchange, and the similarities between gratitude and its opposite, vengefulness. The Gift of Thanks considers cultural history, including the modern battle of social scientists to pin down the... Pt. 1. Saying "What do you say?" No thanks Itʹs only natural "Iʹm so sorry" "Thank you very much indeed" Pt. 2. Giving, receiving, returning Why give back? All wrapped up The three graces Give it away The give-and-take of everyday life Pt. 3. Meaning Votive offerings Unpacking "gratitude" The fourth law of nature After all Tipping Freedom and equality Gestures Memory and narrative Pt. 4. Feeling Emotions Feeling grateful Learning and lasting Pt. 5. Rejecting The marble-hearted fiend We are not grateful The poisoned gift Pt. 6. Recognizing Gratitude instead Partiality and transcendence Recognition.