The genius of instinct : reclaim Mother Nature's tools for enhancing your health, happiness, family, and work

Why are we sometimes so unhappy and unfulfilled? Why do we sometimes get into the wrong relationships, take the wrong jobs, and make the wrong choices? The answers and solutions to these everyday plights are revealed by today’s “scientists of the mind,” evolutionary psychologists who have discovered stunning new lessons about the power of instincts and their capacity to transform lives positively. But too many of us have lost contact with our instincts. We don’t hear them. We don’t use them. And that gets us in trouble–over and over again. Now, Dr. Hendrie Weisinger shows how to reconnect with the instincts Mother Nature gave you. You’ll rediscover the six most indispensable human instincts that have evolved over millions and millions of years. Then, you’ll learn how to use them to thrive in every part of your life...enhancing your health and happiness, your marriage and parenting, even your work and personal creativity! Introduction 1 Part I: Shelter Seek...So You Can Find Your Home 9 Chapter 1: Selecting an Empowering Environment 11 Chapter 2: The Face of Emotions 17 Chapter 3: Home Hunting 27 Chapter 4: Shelter Seeking Today 37 Part II: Care Solicit...So You Can Protect Your Vulnerabilities 51 Chapter 5: Protecting Your Vulnerabilities 53 Chapter 6: The Benefits of Vulnerability 65 Chapter 7: The Importance of Ghost Busters 71 Chapter 8: Care Soliciting Today 77 Part III: Care Give...So You Can Develop the Future 89 Chapter 9: Developing the Future 91 Chapter 10: I Gave at the Office 95 Chapter 11: Care Giving Today 99 Part IV: Beautify...So You Can Pull People Toward You 115 Chapter 12: Pulling People Toward You 117 Chapter 13: Beautify Today 123 Chapter 14: Broadly Attractive 133 Part V: Co-op...So You Can Get People Working Together 143 Chapter 15: Team Game 145 Chapter 16: Interaction: Play Ball! 153 Chapter 17: Stimulating Cooperation 161 ... Cover......Page 1 Contents......Page 8 Introduction......Page 18 Part I: Shelter Seek...So You Can Find Your Home......Page 26 Your Evolutionary Heritage......Page 28 Your Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness......Page 29 Surviving More Than Thriving......Page 30 Hardwired to Stay......Page 31 Beyond Self-Preservation......Page 32 Emotional Functioning......Page 34 Functional Distress......Page 36 Distress Awareness......Page 37 Follow Your Emotions, Manage Them Not......Page 39 Home Sweet Home......Page 42 Emotional Nutrients......Page 44 Contentment Versus Growth......Page 46 Match Play, Nature’s Course......Page 47 Scouting Your Environment......Page 49 Sensing the Right Environment......Page 51 The Job Interview/Selection/Promotion/Transfer......Page 54 College Selection......Page 57 Mating: Love and Business......Page 58 Empowering Your Environment......Page 60 The Great Escape: Leaving the Nightmare......Page 62 The Future of Shelter Seeking......Page 66 Part II: Care Solicit...So You Can Protect Your Vulnerabilities......Page 68 911......Page 70 The Cry for Help Gets a Helping Hand......Page 71 Vulnerability: Positive Feelings-Not......Page 72 Anxiety Disorders......Page 73 Vulnerability Today......Page 74 The Invulnerability Trap......Page 75 Thoughts About Asking......Page 77 Chapter 6: The Benefits of Vulnerability......Page 82 Befriending Your Feelings......Page 83 Be a Small Risk Taker......Page 84 Reach Out for Help......Page 85 Building your “A” Team......Page 88 Using Your Team......Page 90 Team Maintenance......Page 92 Care Soliciting Helps Take the Weight Off......Page 94 House Cleaning Bills......Page 96 Care Soliciting at Work......Page 98 Building Your Business......Page 100 The Care-Soliciting President......Page 102 There Will Always Be Kryptonite......Page 103 Why Care Soliciting Works......Page 104 Part III: Care Give...So You Can Develop the Future......Page 106 Designer Genes......Page 108 Mother Nature’s Chemistry Course: Female......Page 109 Mother Nature’s Chemistry Course: Male......Page 110 The Anger Excuse......Page 112 No Time to Give......Page 113 I’ll Help You Lose......Page 114 It Is Expensive......Page 115 Some of Mother Nature’s Parenting Advice......Page 116 Love Me Tending, Love Me Sweet......Page 120 The Care Bear Boss......Page 122 Care Giving to Elders......Page 124 “Everyone Is a Critic,” Says Mother Nature......Page 126 Community Caring......Page 128 Part IV: Beautify...So You Can Pull People Toward You......Page 132 Beauty Attracts......Page 134 It Shouldn’t Matter......Page 136 Attractiveness Is Physical Attractiveness......Page 137 Unattractively Aware......Page 138 Your Personal Best......Page 140 The Sense of Humor......Page 142 Speak UP!......Page 144 Praise—Early, Early, Early, Early Behaviorism......Page 146 Listen Well......Page 147 Becoming a More Attractive Mate......Page 150 Come Home for Thanksgiving......Page 153 The Magnet of Expertise......Page 155 A Beautiful Place to Work......Page 156 Beauty or the Beast......Page 158 Part V: Co-op...So You Can Get People Working Together......Page 160 Your Evolutionary Heritage......Page 162 The First Team......Page 163 Selfish Jean......Page 164 Gene Management......Page 166 Your Big Brain Is a Socialite......Page 167 Chapter 16: Interaction: Play Ball!......Page 170 Reciprocity: The Give and Take of Cooperation......Page 171 Stimulate the Division of Labor......Page 178 Emphasizing Identity......Page 181 Play Fair......Page 185 Commit to Cooperate......Page 190 Interdepartmental Conflict......Page 191 Reducing Marital Conflict......Page 193 Creating Coworker Cooperation......Page 195 Sibling Rivalry to Sibling Support......Page 196 Cooperate to Compete......Page 198 The Cooperative Culture......Page 200 Part VI: Curious?...So You Can Stay Ahead of the Pack......Page 202 Your Evolutionary Heritage......Page 204 Your Curiosity Instinct......Page 205 Nature’s Energy......Page 206 The Curious Object......Page 207 How Curiosity Works......Page 208 Chapter 20: Becoming a Curious George/Georgette......Page 210 Alpha Up Your Arousal......Page 211 Overcoming Your Aversion Instinct......Page 214 Regulating Arousal......Page 215 Stimulating Intellectual Curiosity......Page 217 Act Curiously......Page 219 Chapter 21: Curiosity Every Day......Page 222 Mother Kink......Page 223 The Curious Presentation......Page 226 Young at Heart......Page 227 Curious Family Fun......Page 229 Curious Conversation......Page 232 Raising Interest Rates......Page 236 Curious Criticism......Page 240 What Is the Curious Corporate Culture?......Page 242 Curiosity Shut Up!......Page 244 Conclusion: Use Your Natural Genius......Page 248 Step I: Know Your Tools......Page 250 Step II: Assessing Instinctual Connection......Page 251 Step IV: Monitor Your Progress......Page 253 References......Page 254 A......Page 258 C......Page 259 E......Page 261 G–H......Page 262 M......Page 263 P......Page 264 T......Page 265 W–Z......Page 266

Why are we sometimes so unhappy and unfulfilled?

Why do we sometimes get into the wrong relationships, take the wrong jobs, and make the wrong choices?

The answers and solutions to these everyday plights are revealed by today’s “scientists of the mind,” evolutionary psychologists who have discovered stunning new lessons about the power of instincts and their capacity to transform lives positively.

But too many of us have lost contact with our instincts. We don’t hear them. We don’t use them. And that gets us in trouble–over and over again.

Now, Dr. Hendrie Weisinger shows how to reconnect with the instincts Mother Nature gave you. You’ll rediscover the six most indispensable human instincts that have evolved over millions and millions of years. Then, you’ll learn how to use them to thrive in every part of your life...enhancing your health and happiness, your marriage and parenting, even your work and personal creativity!

Introduction 1

Part I: Shelter Seek…So You Can Find Your Home 9

Chapter 1: Selecting an Empowering Environment 11

Chapter 2: The Face of Emotions 17

Chapter 3: Home Hunting 27

Chapter 4: Shelter Seeking Today 37

Part II: Care Solicit…So You Can Protect Your Vulnerabilities 51

Chapter 5: Protecting Your Vulnerabilities 53

Chapter 6: The Benefits of Vulnerability 65

Chapter 7: The Importance of Ghost Busters 71

Chapter 8: Care Soliciting Today 77

Part III: Care Give…So You Can Develop the Future 89

Chapter 9: Developing the Future 91

Chapter 10: I Gave at the Office 95

Chapter 11: Care Giving Today 99

Part IV: Beautify…So You Can Pull People Toward You 115

Chapter 12: Pulling People Toward You 117

Chapter 13: Beautify Today 123

Chapter 14: Broadly Attractive 133

Part V: Co-op…So You Can Get People Working Together 143

Chapter 15: Team Game 145

Chapter 16: Interaction: Play Ball! 153

Chapter 17: Stimulating Cooperation 161

Chapter 18: Co-Op Today 173

Part VI: Curious?...So You Can Stay Ahead of the Pack 185

Chapter 19: Accelerating Your Learning 187

Chapter 20: Becoming a Curious George/Georgette 193

Chapter 21: Curiosity Every Day 205

Chapter 22: Curiosity Satisfied 219

Conclusion: Use Your Natural Genius 231

Appendix: The Life Enhancement Instinct Inventory 233

References 237

Index 241

Publishers Weekly

Author and psychologist Weisinger (Nobody's Perfect), an executive educator specializing in organizational psychology, posits the idea that human beings are hard-wired for success (not simply for survival) by mechanisms in our brain developed over ten million years of natural selection-instinctual mechanisms like emotion and empathy which we devalue against higher functions like reason and analysis. In this lively self-help, Weisinger offers fairly standard advice (maximize attractiveness, keep learning, practice reciprocity), but his approach is frequently counterintuitive, often with illuminating results. Locating the hardwired center for emotions in the face (rather than, say, the brain stem), he suggests that the way to get yourself out of a bad relationship is to use your angry face, which communicates feelings not just to your partner but to the rest of your body, giving you the energy to rid yourself of something that is toxic to you-literally, the strength to walk out the door. Elsewhere, Weisinger explains why contentment often prevents growth, and why tending, giving care to others, is a life enhancer for the entire family and/or the office staff.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Why do we sometimes get into the wrong relationships, take the wrong jobs, and make the wrong choices? The answers and solutions to these everyday plights are revealed by today's "scientists of the mind," evolutionary psychologists who have discovered stunning new lessons about the power of instincts and their capacity to transform lives positively. But too many of us have lost contact with our instincts. We don't hear them. We don't use them. And that gets us in trouble-over and over again. Now, Dr. Hendrie Weisinger shows how to reconnect with the instincts Mother Nature gave you. You'll rediscover the six most indispensable human instincts that have evolved over millions and millions of years. Then, you'll learn why you have emotions, and how to listen to them...how to scout out an environment that'll nurture you... how to become more comfortable with your vulnerabilities... have more fun by stimulating your curiosity... build deeper bonds with those around you... make yourself more attractive to mates and employers alike! You're hardwired for success. Use the powerful instincts Mother Nature gave you and gain the joy, fulfillment, and pleasure you deserve! Introduction Part I: Shelter seek: so you can find your home Selecting an empowering environment The face of emotions Home hunting Shelter seeking today Part II: Care solicit: so you can protect your vulnerabilities Protecting your vulnerabilities The benefits of vulnerability The importance of ghost busters Care soliciting today Part III: Care give: so you can develop the future Developing the future I gave at the office Care giving today Part IV: Beautify: so you can pull people toward you Pulling people toward you Beautify today Broadly attractive Part V: Co-op: so you can get people working together Team game Interaction : play ball! Stimulating cooperation Co-op today Part VI: Curious: so you can stay ahead of the pack Accelerating your learning Becoming a curious George/Georgette Curiosity every day Curiosity satisfied. O segredo da felicidade está em suas mãos, esse tesouro tão procurando por muitos e que parece estar tão escondido. Este pequeno livro vai te ajudar muito se você souber usá-lo. E o melhor de tudo é que não importa a sua idade ou se você se sente muito velha ou se não parece ser tão legal ler um livro cheio de figuras. De qualquer forma, suas respostas para as perguntas deste livro vão poder te ajudar. Com este manual, você não terá somente o mapa do tesouro, mas também a chave para abrir o baú. Ao concluir as 37 missões, você aprenderá a fórmula mágica da felicidade, que funcionará em qualquer lugar e em qualquer idade, porque ser feliz é simplesmente SER feliz.