The Focusing Student’s and Companion’s Manual Part One

Focusing is a simple matter of holding a kind of open, non-judging attention to something which is directly experienced but is not yet in words. Out of this simplicity, many things come. People use Focusing for many purposes: problem-solving in all sorts of situations, becoming clear on what they feel and want, decision- making, creativity (writing, painting, etc.), developing new ideas and theories in every conceivable field, psychotherapy, working with chil- dren and babies, environmental management... the list is endless. The use of Focusing that we are concentrating on in this manual is what is usually called personal growth: understanding one’s self, moving past old emotional pain, and accessing one’s larger potential. Since Focusing itself is so intricate, naturally the teaching of it is also. No two Focusing teachers will teach alike, and each person’s jour- ney with Focusing is uniquely their own. This manual is the work of two Focusing teachers whose combined experience with Focusing is nearly fifty years. What was intended to be a short project has become a three-year trek, including much more than we originally envisioned, and the result is a manual so extensive that it had to be divided into two parts: The Focusing Student’s and Companion’s Manual, Parts One and Two. Cover Title Page Publisher's Note ❖ Contents ❖ Introduction Two General Items Before Going Further A Brief History of Inner Relationship Focusing How This Manual Came to Be How to Use This Manual ❖ Acknowledgements Section 1 ❖ The Door Opens ❖ What Is Focusing? ❖ We Keep Ourselves Company ❖ Moving into “Presence” The Power of Acknowledging Some Examples for You to Try for Yourself When You Might Want to Move into Presence Keeping It Safe ❖ Doing Some Focusing Before You Begin – Some Practical Hints Four Stages of Focusing ❖ Making Contact ❖ Deepening Contact ❖ Coming Out ❖ A Short Summary of the Focusing Process Section 2 ❖ Finding Companions ❖ Keeping Someone Company While They're Focusing Being in Presence As You Keep Company ❖ Attuning to the Focuser Being in Presence as You Keep Company ❖ Listening – Basic Principles Some Basic Principles ❖ Reflecting Why Reflect? ❖ Reflecting to Support Presence You're Sensing...” “Something in You Feels...” ❖ What to Reflect Back – a Couple of Specifics ❖ Focusing with a Companion When Your Companion Is Reflecting Your Words ❖ the Focuser Listens to the Listener ❖ How I Would like You to Be with Me The Focuser Teaches Their Companion ❖ Who Does What in a Focusing Session with a Companion The Companion Starts The Focuser ❖ A Summary For the Companion For the Focuser Section 3 ❖ Making Focusing Your Own ❖ Guidelines for Focusers and Companions ❖ Partnership – Basic Principles Basic Principles Practical Issues General Issues ❖ Partnership – Practical Issues Practical Issues General Issues ❖ Partnership – General Issues General Issues ❖ Changes Groups Changes Groups Practical Matters ❖ Starting a Changes Group Starting a Changes Group ❖ Solo Focusing Obstacles and Difficulties to Solo Focusing Bringing Focusing into Your Life Section 4 ❖ Dwelling at the Edge ❖ Going to the Edge to Find More A New Paradigm – It Solves Itself The Living Forward Energy Begins to Stir ❖ Living Forward Knows Which Way to Go ❖ Slowly It Emerges ❖ How the Body Responds to Symbols ❖ Forms that Symbols Take Forms Symbols Often Take in Focusing ❖ How Do We Help the Living Forward to Make Steps? How Do We Help the Living Forward to Make Steps? ❖ Six Recommendations 1 – Being in Presence “I'm Sensing Something in Me that Feels...” 2 – Going Slowly “I'm Taking Time to...” 3 – Sensing in the Body “I'm Noticing How that Feels in My Body Now” 4 – Staying in Contact with the Unclear Edge “I'm Sensing for What Is Unclear Here” 5 – Holding a Space for Something New to Come “I'm Letting It Know It Can Be the Way It Is for as Long as It Needs to Be” 6 – Whatever Feels like ‘Fresh Air' Is a Step, No Matter What It Looks like “I'm Saying ‘Yes' to What's Come” An Unfolding Process Section 5 ❖ The Power of Presence ❖ What Is Presence? ❖ Cultivating Presence ❖ Some Phrases that Help Cultivate Presence ❖ Further Properties of Presence Further Properties of Presence ❖ The Essence of Presence The Essence of Presence Section 6 ❖ Becoming Companions ❖ Deepening Presence Listening Deepening Presence Presence Listening ❖ Deepening and Expanding Your Listening Skills Deepening and Expanding Your Listening Skills Leading in ❖ Appendix ❖ References and Recommended Reading ❖ Recommended Tapes and Newsletters Other Resources ❖ Resources ❖ Other Recommended Methods ❖ Field Notes: the Door Opens What Is Focusing? ❖ Qualities of Presence ❖ For the Focuser When You're Focusing For the Focuser – Short Form ❖ Field Notes: Becoming Companions What Is Being a Companion? ❖ for the Companion Level One Level Two Leading in ❖ Transcript of a Sample Listening/Partnership Session ❖ Partnership Appointments ❖ Our Responses Fhe Door Opens Finding Companions Becoming Companions ❖ Gendlin's Focusing Terms Gendlin's Focusing Terms – Definitions and Comparisons ❖ Moody Words Fear/Anxiety Guilt/Shame Angry Sad Lonely Hurt Contented/Happy Connected Powerful Powerless Wanting Hurtful/Combative Miscellaneous Sensory Feeling ❖ Index ❖ Who We Are Back Cover