The Five People You'll Meet in Prison : A Memoir of Addiction, Mania & Hope

After years of hedonism in the literary life, journalist Brandon M. Stickney is caught in an opiate epidemic drug sting and sentenced to prison. Surrounded by society's most troubled individuals and hostile guards, Stickney faces his addiction and mental illness behind the razor wire. Searching for answers, he befriends four inmates and a guard who help change his life. Haunted by severe cravings, nights of mania, and threatened by prison's evils, he clings to hope, learning that recovery is possible, even in the darkest of places. Startling yet humorous, The Five People You'll Meet in Prison is part memoir, part exposé on the largest of America's industries: prison. A memorable real-life rendering of the anti-hero's journey. My name is Susan Spector. I have one black eye, and one blue eye. I am colorblind. I experience synesthesia. My blood type is AB negative. I was born on a leap year. Do I sound like a freak yet? Oh yeah, and I'm dying of stage four lung cancer. My diagnosis prompted me to review my life to that point. I had spent the past decades of my life wandering, not really living. I couldn't die yet. There was so much more I wanted to do. I'd never been to a nudist resort. I'd never slept with a stranger. I'd never gone to Vegas. It was the luckiest place on Earth. I figured I would try my luck there, since I'd run out of it in California.On my way to Vegas, I had an accidental hit-and-run, which would follow me throughout the next two weeks. Once I got to Vegas, I drowned my woes in alcohol at the nearest bar. I met an exotic dancer named Calliope, who quickly became my friend. After getting drunk and spending the night at the house of a guy dressed like George Washington, an idea occurred to both Calliope and me. We created a bucket list, and decided to go on a spontaneous road trip. I didn't want to die young and boring. I needed to live fast first. When we made it to Utah, we encountered a drunk, out-of-work actor dressed as a knight. Will Hudson was his name. We took him back to his house at his boss'request, and spent the night there with him. While I did not appreciate his pompous and sleazy attitude, Calliope kept an open mind. He decided to join us on our road trip, since he had nothing left to lose.What happens next? Maybe I fall in love, like everyone expects. Maybe I find out I'm actually adopted. Maybe I find out that my father is a murderer. Maybe a couple of henchmen find me and I die during the second week of the road trip. You'll just have to find out for yourself, because I'm quite the storyteller. Susan Spector is a walking anomaly. Shes a radio host in her 30s who, despite being totally colorblind, loves rainbows and associates classic songs with color. She has synesthesia, heterochromia, AB negative blood, a leap year birthday, and a general sense of ambivalence when it comes to life. To top it all off, her parents accidentally tell her that shes adopted. But Susan has bigger problems. Her affinity for the improbable has struck again; now, shes diagnosed with a rare and terminal form of lung cancer. With two months to live, she embarks on an impromptu road trip with strangers. Enter Calliope, (an ex-stripper with a bright orange hearse and a knack for determining destiny), Will (a drunken, out-of-work actor in a suit of armor), Leo (A little lion with a fear of most things), and Eternity (an elderly dachshund who shares Susans fate). The companions are guided only by the radio, while being followed by a crazy attorneys goons (two men in menacing parachute pants who may not have left the 80s), frequent clues to Susans past, and a sense of fatal urgency. What follows is absurd, improbable, comical and even surreal, but then again, so is Susan. Things to do before I die: Find my birth mother Learn French Have sex with a stranger Go to a Prom Go to the circus Visit a nudist resort Swim with sharks Write a novel Go home This Wizard of Oz inspired road trip will take you to places you never would have expected, and introduce you to characters youll never forget. As you jump from one wild incident to the next, all narrated with Susans one step too far sense of humor, youll find yourself laughing and increasingly curious about your destination. But at the core of it all lies time; how much of it we have, how we use it, and how we ignore it. "On the one hand, Susan Iris Spector, a San Francisco-based radio DJ in her 30s, is pretty ordinary. She loves Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, John Denver, Donna Summer, and other big recording stars of the 1980s. On the other hand, she has synesthesia, two different-colored eyes, rare AB-negative blood, a leap year birthday, and the recent knowledge that she was adopted, her kooky parents having forgotten to tell her years ago. And, to add insult to injury, she's just been informed that her life will likely end in two months from an extremely rare form of lung cancer. Though normally ambivalent about life, she hastily jots down her chief "things to do before I die" goals on a bar napkin ... Enter Calliope, an ex-exotic dancer with a bright orange hearse and a knack for determining destiny; Will, a literal, and slightly drunk, knight; Leo, a little lion with a fear of most things; and Eternity, an elderly dachshund who's not long for this world. All set off on a Wizard of Oz-inspired cross-country journey, guided only by the radio, with an enlightenment attorney, and two men in menacing parachute pants. What follows is absurd, improbable, comical and even surreal, but then again, so is Susan."--Page 2 of cover Part "Oz," "Shawshank Redemption," and "Orange Is the New Black," this true, warts-and-all, David vs. Goliath tale is about a journalist/addict/alcoholic whose five prison-mates ready him for the outside world, while taking on the prison industrial complex of 2018