The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World

Let's face it―all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks―no matter where in the world they reside. Following in the footsteps of the bestselling book __The Field Guide to Dumb Birds__ of North America, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky, yet accurate, names and humorous, anger-filled drawings. This guide book details exactly how much these morons suck with facts about each bird's (annoying) call, its (stupid) migratory pattern, and its (downright tacky) markings. Complete with a matching game, bird descriptor checklist, tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example), this profanity-laden book offers a balance of fact and wit that will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike. * A MUST-HAVE: A must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book __The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America.__ * UNIQUE & LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY: This is a great coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book. And a bonus, while the content is humorous, it is practical and useful! * A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift. Perfect for: * Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts * Armchair birders (or nonbirders) * Someone who needs a quirky gift for an animal lover friend * People with serious birders in their lives who want something lighthearted Cover Title Copyright Dedication Contents Introduction How to Use This Book Section 1: The Great Big World of Fucking Birds Major Bird Regions of the Whole World • North America • South America • Africa • Europe • Asia • Oceania Where to Look for Birds How to Identify Birds • Bird Parts • Bird Size • Bird Shape Section 2: The Birds Typical Birds African Suck Puppet Boring Chickadee Butt-throat Finch Dick-whistle Dumb-ass European Robin Dumbfuck Eurasian Buttfinch Fucking Carolina Wren Great Tit Green Cat Turd Pied Wanktail Red Breasted Butt-hunch Shit-toed Tree Creep Stupid Fairywren Yellow-butt Gargler Backyard Assholes California Smug Jerk Goddamn Northern Cardinal Goddamned Magpies Hoodlum Crow Red Buttholebird Spotty Nutt-huffer Tawny Fuckmunch Yellow-bill Ox-fucker Hummingbirds, Weirdos, and Flycatchers African Pygmy Kingfucker Black Donghole Crap Sugarbird Creepy Skull-bird Great Butt-tard Great Poo-poo Laughing Goddamn Kookaburra Loser Diarrhea Northern Buttwipe Peruvian Shart-tail Scottish Fuck-face Southern Yellow-bill Horse-face Stupid-eyes White Crusted Loserthrush Egoists and Show-offs Indigo Buttnick Lilac-breasted Tosser Red-bill Firefuck Tacky Poo-can Yellow bastard Chat Fuckers Big Shitty Woodpecker Green Woodfucker Himalayan Woodfucker Wang-neck Floaters, Sand Birds, and Dork-legs African Goblin Australian Farter Australian Shite Ibis Black-crown Night Moron Blah Crane Caped Tool Cruddy Sheldork Goddamed Screamer Gross Cormorant Little Regret Loser Yellowlegs Murder Birds Common Bastard Red-tailed Fuck Section 3: Birds Throughout History Tomb Chapel of Raemkai (west wall) Gold Ring Limestone Temple Boy Terra-cotta Oil Lamp Mirror with Birds Medallion with Archer Shooting a Bird Eros Stealing Man’s Shield Infant Hercules Asleep Mimizuku Uso Young Woman with Ibis Section 4: Getting Along with Birds Sharpening Your Skills • Bird-Word Matching Game • Bird Descriptors Checklist • How to Read a Bird Instantly • How to Draw a Bird • Draw Your Own Damn Bird Acknowledgments References Chronicle Ebooks This must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America proves that all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerksno matter where in the world they reside. Following in the tracks of the first uproarious and beloved bird book in the series, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky yet accurate names and humorous, anger-filled drawings. Offering a balance of fact and wit, this uproarious profanity-laden handbook will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike. ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This laugh-out-loud funny spoof guide to all things wings includes a matching game, a bird descriptor checklist, and tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example). Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. POPULAR AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. Other amusing titles from Matt include The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America and OMFG, BEES! "Following in the footsteps of the bestselling first book THE FIELD GUIDE TO DUMB BIRDS OF NORTH AMERICA, the ever-annoyed-by-birds author Matt Kracht brings us THE FIELD GUIDE TO DUMB BIRDS OF THE WHOLE STUPID WORLD. This time he ventures around the globe to include snarky names and descriptions of stupid birds from the whole dang world. Packaged with the same charmingly crappy drawings, maps, and handwriting of the original, this follow-up will be yet another perfect gift for serious and casual birders alike. This crudely illustrated small paperback includes an all-new worldwide selection of birds with the same charmingly crappy 4-color art and hand-drawn type. With more bird diagrams, drawings, and maps, this sequel will deliver another helping of snarky animal humor with a balance of fact and wit that appeals to both hardcore birders and casual bird fans that don't take birding too seriously"-- Provided by publisher