The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America (Bird Books, Books for Bird Lovers, Humor Books)

National bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller Lists Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike A humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America , you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! • Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. • The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching. • Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. "There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – Uncrate A humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds • A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book • Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift Cover Title Copyright Contents Introduction Section 1: How to Use This Book The Difference Between Birding and Bird Watching Where to Look for Birds How to Identify Birds Bird Size Bird Shape Bird Behaviors Bird Songs and Calls Ethics Author's Note Section 2: The Birds Typical Birds American Goldfink Black-capped Prickadee Bushtit Dork-eye Junco Dumb Western Bluebird Evening Grossbutt Golden Crowned Dumb-Shit Goddamn Song Sparrow Gray Cat Turd House Binch Kentucky Gargler Lameland Longspur Palm Burglar Pine Shitkin Tufted Titface Western Meadowjerk Western Wood Pew-PewWhite-breasted Butt Nugget Backyard Assholes Damn Crows Dumb-Ass Robin European Shartling Shit-Headed Cowbird Stupid-Ass Steller's Jay Hummingbirds, Weirdos, and Flycatchers Butt-chinned Hummingbird Doofus Hummingbird American Dickwood Belted King-Pisser Fucking Pigeon Ass-throated Flycatcher Fuck-tailed Flycatcher Egotists and Show-offs American Redfart Eastern Kingbutt Red-winged Buttwad Scarlet Teenager Western Kingbutt Fuckers Northern Fucker Pileated Woodfucker Red-breasted Shitsucker Floaters, Sandbirds, and Dork-legs Common Goon Dullard Goddamned Canada GooseCaspian Turd Seadull Great Blue Moron Limpdick Solitary Sand-pooper Wood Snork Murder Birds Crested Chacha Great Grey Shite Motherfucking Bald Eagle Pooper's Hawk Section 3: Tips for Watching Birds Section 4: Four Seasons of Bird Watching Spring Summer Fall Winter Section 5: Extinct Species Carolina Parakreep Great Ugh Labrador Dunce Passenger Pudgen Section 6: Bird Feeders Choosing the right feeder Tray or Platform Feeder Suet Feeder Tube Feeder House or Hopper Feeder Section 7: Keeping Your Own Bird Journal Why keep a bird journal? Journals vs. Field NotesHow to start your bird journal Tools and tips for writing and drawing in the field Acknowledgments References About the Author Chronicle Ebooks Perfect for the anti-aviary (or bird fanatic with a sense of humor), this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and-let's face it-true. Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. With migratory maps and tips for birding, plus musings on the avian population and the ethics of birdwatching, this is the essential guide to all things wings. No need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!;Cover; Title; Copyright; Contents; Introduction; Section 1: How to Use This Book; The Difference Between Birding and Bird Watching; Where to Look for Birds; How to Identify Birds; Bird Size; Bird Shape; Bird Behaviors; Bird Songs and Calls; Ethics; Author's Note; Section 2: The Birds; Typical Birds; American Goldfink; Black-capped Prickadee; Bushtit; Dork-eye Junco; Dumb Western Bluebird; Evening Grossbutt; Golden Crowned Dumb-Shit; Goddamn Song Sparrow; Gray Cat Turd; House Binch; Kentucky Gargler; Lameland Longspur; Palm Burglar; Pine Shitkin; Tufted Titface; Western Meadowjerk "Perfect for the anti-aviary (or bird fanatic with a sense of humor), this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and--let's face it--true. Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. With migratory maps and tips for birding, plus musings on the avian population and the ethics of birdwatching, this is the essential guide to all things wings. No need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!"--Amazon.com. Perfect for the anti-aviary (or bird fanatic with a sense of humor), this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. With migratory maps and tips for birding, plus musings on the avian population and the ethics of birdwatching, this is the essential guide to all things wings. No need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! For those who have a disdain for birds, or for bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, andlet's face ittrue. Featuring common North American birds such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous yet angry ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America , you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!