The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition

This “rare and compelling” (New York Magazine) bestseller examines childhood trauma and the enduring effects it has on an individual's management of repressed anger and pain. Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided millions of readers with an answer—and has helped them to apply it to their own lives. Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents'expectations and win their'love.'Alice Miller writes,'When I used the word'gifted'in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb.... Without this'gift'offered us by nature, we would not have survived.'But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth. 1 THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD AND HOW WE BECAME PSYCHOTHERAPISTS The Poor Rich Child The Lost World of Feelings In Search of the True Self The Therapist’s History The Golden Brain 2 DEPRESSION AND GRANDIOSITY: TWO RELATED FORMS OF DENIAL The Vicissitudes of the Child’s Needs Healthy Development The Disturbance The Illusion of Love Grandiosity Depression as the Reverse of Grandiosity Depression as Denial of the Self Depressive Phases During Therapy Signal Function Suppression of Essential Needs The Accumulation of Strong, Hidden Feelings Confronting the Parents The Inner Prison A Social Aspect of Depression The Legend of Narcissus 3 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF CONTEMPT Humiliation for the Child, Disrespect for the Weak, and Where It Goes from There Working with Contempt in Therapy Damaged Self-Articulation in the Compulsion to Repeat Perpetuation of Contempt in Perversion and Obsessive Behavior “Depravity” as “Evil” in Hermann Hesse’s Childhood World The Mother as Society’s Agent During the First Years of Life The Loneliness of the Contemptuous Achieving Freedom from Contempt and Respecting Life AFTERWORD WORKS CITED APPENDIX INDEX Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided thousands of readers with an answer - and has helped them to apply it to their own lives. Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." Alice Miller writes, "When I used the word 'gifted' in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb...Without this 'gift' offered us by nature, we would not have survived." But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth.

Examines how narcissistic parents form and deform the lives of their talented children.

The bestselling book on childhood trauma and the enduring effects of repressed anger and pain. Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided millions of readers with an answerand has helped them to apply it to their own lives. Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." Alice Miller writes, "When I used the word 'gifted' in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb.... Without this 'gift' offered us by nature, we would not have survived." But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth. Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided thousands of readers with an answer -- and has helped them to apply it to their own lives. Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." Alice Miller writes, "When I used the word 'gifted' in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb ... Without this 'gift' offered us by nature, we would not have survived." But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth. -- Back cover Now revised and updated to reflect the author's new insights, this modern classic explains why many of the most successful children and adults are plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation--and tells how to break the cycle. Examines the cyclical patterns of parental exploitation and the resulting loss of self-esteem in their children.