The De-Textbook : The Stuff You Didn't Know About the Stuff You Thought You Knew

You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed. The writers from the Internet's most-read humor website debunk the so-called "facts" that everyone learned in school, including that spinach is full of iron, there are three primary colors, and humans have five senses.;Introduction : a brief recap of your squandered education -- Health and anatomy: welcome to your body! here's some bullshit we made up about it -- Biology : animals they lied about and the amazing real ones they kept secret -- World history : the greatest story ever withheld -- Sex education : lies about your junk and how to use it -- Physics : the universe is an unpredictable magic show -- U.S. history : the (bullshit) superhero movie -- Nutrition : everything you know is conspiring to make you fat and dead -- Practical psychology : how to keep your brain from screwing you.