The bedwetter : stories of courage, redemption, and pee

Amazon.com Review Amazon Exclusive: A Letter from Sarah Silverman My name is Sarah Silverman. I was once primarily known for saying the word "poop" and getting paid above market rates for it. But those days are over, because I am now going to be known for having written a book. Why did I write a book, you might wonder? Because it just seemed like the right time to be getting into the publishing industry. I'm kidding. Publishing is rotting like an abandoned possum carcass on the shoulder of I-95. I know that for a fact, because shortly after my book deal was announced, I kept hearing people lament the imminent demise of literature. These days there is only one reason to write a book: to be taken seriously . And that is exactly what is about to happen to me. I'm an author now! Like Ernest Hemingway and Fyodor Dostoevsky! When I was asked to provide text for an author page, I decided to approach it in a scholarly manner, because that's what authors do. I looked to other author pages for inspiration, and I learned so much. For example, while Hemingway and Dostoevsky do not have their own author pages on Amazon.com, Paris Hilton does. And so does former teenage porn star and multi-tasking fellatrix, Traci Lords. Hemingway and Dostoevsky might be wondering, quite literally, "Whom do I have to blow to get my own author page?" If someone had a cruel sense of humor, they might respond to Hemingway, "How about your head off? Oh wait – you already DID that!" But such a remark would be in bad taste, and as a serious author, I'm above all that. I also learned that Paris' dog, Tinkerbell Hilton, has her own book too. I read a few pages and found the prose to be overwrought, but you can imagine that, being a dog, she'd be coming from a place of needing to prove something. By the way, here's a quote from a review of Paris' book that I found on her Amazon.com author page: "Heiress, socialite, model, actress, singer and media darling Hilton loves her life, knows how to get what she wants and matter-of-factly explains how anyone can be a glamorous, fun-loving, tiara-wearing heiress just like her... [Paris’] advice to 'channel your own inner heiress, create your own image, and project an extreme sense of confidence' is an empowering message for young women." This was profoundly inspiring to me. It made me realize: if young women can read Hilton's book and become heiresses, they can likewise read my book and become anxiety-ridden bedwetters. And amidst this generation of disposability that favors the digital over the physical, shopping online rather than in stores (oops, this is awkward!), and reading from LCD screens rather than from print on paper, it's nice to know that I will have left a permanent stain by which future generations shall know of my existence. So read The Bedwetter , if not for me, then for the children. From Publishers Weekly Starred Review. Demonstrating that her penchant for swearing began at an early age, comedian Silverman begins her hilarious memoir by describing how, at age three, she gleefully responded to her grandmother's offer of brownies with shove 'em up your ass. Growing up in New Hampshire (where cows are well done and Jews are rare), Silverman naturally gravitated toward performing and moved to New York, where she attended and eventually dropped out of New York University to pursue a standup comedy career. Mixing show business moments (she wrote for Saturday Night Live for one season, but none of her sketches made it past dress rehearsal) with stories of her childhood and adolescence (punctuated by a persistent bedwetting problem), Silverman never shies away from poking fun at her own expense. Though she's best known for sexually explicit jokes, Silverman is able to address more serious subjects in the book without losing her edge, particularly her teenage struggle with depression and that her often abrasive public persona allowed her to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed.... It was a funny way of being sincere. 8-page color insert. (May) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Warning From Publisher To Reader: At Harpercollins, We Are Committed To Customer Satisfaction. Before Proceeding With Your Purchase, Please Take The Following Questionnaire To Determine Your Likelihood Of Enjoying This Book: 1. Which Of The Following Do You Appreciate? (a) Women With Somewhat Horse-ish Facial Features. (b) Women Who, While Not Super Jew-y, Are More Identifiably Jewish Than, Say, Natalie Portman. (c) Frequent Discussion Of Unwanted Body Hair. 2. Are You Offended By The Following Behavior? (a) Instructing One's Grandmother To Place Baked Goods In Her Rectal Cavity. (b) Stripping Naked In Public—eleven Times In A Row. (c) Stabbing One's Boss In The Head With A Writing Implement. 3. The Best Way To Treat An Emotionally Fragile Young Girl Is: (a) Murder The Main Course Of Her Thanksgiving Dinner Before Her Very Eyes. (b) Tell Her That Her Older Sister Is Prettier Than She, And Then Immediately Die. (c) Prevent Her Suicide By Recommending She Stay Away From Open Windows. If You Read The Above Questions Without Getting Nauseous Or Forming A Hate Web Site, You Are Ready To Buy This Book! Please Proceed To The Cashier. From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. In this collection of humorous essays, Sarah Silverman tells tales of growing up Jewish in New Hampshire, losing her virginity, learning to curse at 3 years old, and being a bedwetter until she was old enough to drive, and in a surprisingly poignant piece, she recounts the accidental death of her infant brother. Of course, in her loopy, taboo-breaking way, she always manages somehow to leave you laughing. But then you’d expect nothing less from a woman who sang to her boyfriend on national television that she was “F***ing Matt Damon.”If you like Sarah’s television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler’s Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea and Artie Lange’s Too Fat to Fish, you’ll love The Bedwetter. Cursed from the start The bedwetter My Nana was great but now she's dead Hymen, goodbyemen Some of my more moving violations Sarah Silverman: the college year Make it a treat Live from New York, you're fired Fear and clothing Midword Explosive diary Me play joke Calls from Schleppy The most important thing in life: being on TV The second-most-important thing in life: love Jew Afterword by God. Comedian Silverman's memoir that mixes showbiz moments with the more serious subject of her teenage bout with depression as well as stories of her childhood and adolescence.