Suckers

Masters of the comedy thriller genre, J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, team up for the humorous horror novella Suckers. Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters. Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook. But the fun doesn't stop there. Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print. Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand The Necro File - JA Konrath The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview. That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty. Warning: Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended. You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg. Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to say: "JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite "No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour "I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse "Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers "Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high. Dear friends, do you really want to read and understand Vapurza, then open it to any page, start reading. Do not ever consider to finish reading it in one sitting, from start to end. Never. Have you ever noticed the bottles of perfume lined up on some dressing tables, in some enthusiastic houses? What is the purpose behind having so many bottles lined up together? We use only one at a time. The purpose is to use the fragrance that the mind desires at a particular moment. This book is also like the lined up perfume bottles. Open it to the page that your mind desires. Get enveloped in the fragrance, enjoy it thoroughly. There is no binding of finishing reading that has been started. Enjoy it as and when and how much you wish, without any botheration or anxiety of `what next?`If your mind is taken away by a particular perfume, then do not hesitate, feel it again. You never know what you can come across while trying to find something anew. Keeping all these things in mind, there is no sequence, no index and no references given in this book, with the sole intention of allowing you a free mind for all the ideas, concepts and feelings कोणतंही पान उघडा आणि वाचा! ’वपुर्झा’ हे पुस्तक कोणासाठी? ज्यांना मोत्यातील चमक बघायची आहे अशा वेड्यांसाठी! हे पुस्तक कसं वाचायचं? एका बैठकीत? अथ ते इति? एका दमात? छे! मुळीच नाही. काही हौशी घरांमध्ये ड्रेसिंग टेबलावर निरनिराळ्या अत्तरांच्या बाटल्या असतात. जसा मूड असेल तसं अत्तर वापरायचं किंवा जसा मूड व्हावासा वाटत असेल तसं अत्तर निवडायचं. हे पुस्तक असंच वाचायचं. हवं ते पान आपापल्या मूडनुसार उघडायचं आणि त्या सुगंधाने भारून जायचं.एखादा सुगंध पुन्हा घ्यावासा वाटला तर? पुन्हा शोधायचा. त्या शोधात आणखी काहीतरी सापडेल. म्हणूनच या पुस्तकात अनुक्रमणिका, क्रमांक, संदर्भ काहीही दिलेलं नाही.