Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum : Let's Relate!

Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum contains life-changing strategies and solutions that will enable everyone who knows, lives with or works with an individual with autism to achieve a positive relationship that fosters cooperation and mutual respect. The author has dedicated over 20 years to studying, observing and implementing communication strategies that help him, his wife, their three children and his clients experience positive relationships. His immediate family are all on the autism spectrum and they work together to understand one another, resolve misunderstandings, and help each other feel important, loved and respected. Sharing their inspirational personal experiences and interweaving every chapter with practical hints and tips, the book looks at how to get communication working for everyone and emphasizes the importance of laying down ground rules and building confidence. This book will be essential reading for family, friends and professionals who wish to communicate more effectively with those on the autism spectrum. Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum ......Page 7 Contents ......Page 11 Foreword by Liane Holliday Willey ......Page 15 Foreword by Susan Giurleo ......Page 19 Acknowledgments......Page 23 Introduction......Page 25 Part 1. What It Feels Like to Be on the Autism Spectrum ......Page 33 It started with my son......Page 35 It’s called Asperger’s......Page 37 I have Asperger’s?......Page 38 Determined to feel other than disordered......Page 40 How I made peace with my school years......Page 42 Grade school bullies......Page 44 Middle school......Page 46 I finally fought back......Page 48 High school......Page 51 My high school legacy......Page 52 Congratulations, it’s cancer......Page 53 2. I Made Myself a Promise......Page 55 Why college was almost an ending instead of a beginning......Page 57 Not cut out for social work......Page 58 I’m going to be a father......Page 59 My spectrum mind gets to shine......Page 60 My first job as a social worker......Page 63 My family in crisis......Page 64 Another door opens......Page 65 Tragedy leads to opportunity......Page 66 3. It’s All About Calm and Focus......Page 69 What it means for him......Page 70 Change isn’t the problem......Page 71 Stimming is a must......Page 72 Respecting his style......Page 73 Finding focus......Page 75 Losing focus......Page 77 Classroom contradictions......Page 78 Keeping it together......Page 80 Finding his way......Page 81 4. It Takes Strength to Connect with You......Page 83 Connecting by choice......Page 84 Connection is exhausting......Page 85 Being aware......Page 86 The high-functioning myth......Page 87 Day to day......Page 88 Tune in or tune out......Page 89 Accommodate instead of tolerate......Page 90 Wanting to connect isn’t enough......Page 91 Knowing isn’t understanding......Page 92 The sensory migraine......Page 93 How many senses do we have?......Page 95 Getting your needs met......Page 96 What’s your frequency?......Page 97 What’s the intensity?......Page 98 Problems sleeping......Page 100 When touch hurts......Page 101 How do you manage?......Page 103 But the potty scares me!......Page 104 Emotions running high......Page 105 When your emotions are more than you can handle......Page 107 6. Coming to Your Senses......Page 109 The auditory smoothy......Page 110 Stop sweating......Page 111 Sit up straight and don’t pay attention......Page 112 I need a dinosaur hug......Page 114 Why that?......Page 115 The eleventh sense......Page 118 Supersensitivity......Page 120 Being choosy......Page 121 Finding balance......Page 122 The problem with research......Page 124 Part 2. Creating Relationships that Work for Both of Us ......Page 127 What is confidence?......Page 129 Imposing your own limits......Page 130 Message received......Page 132 What’s your experience?......Page 133 The problem with compliments......Page 134 Feedback......Page 136 You need a different answer......Page 138 Thoughts on perfectionism......Page 139 Grown-ups first......Page 141 Not good enough......Page 142 Emphasize where they specialize......Page 144 Constructive criticism......Page 146 How praise can ruin your child’s life......Page 148 8. Meeting Halfway......Page 153 Keep an open mind......Page 154 Why social skills groups don’t work......Page 155 What the heck does a parent do now?......Page 159 Be true to yourself......Page 160 Strategy versus skill......Page 162 Solving the problem......Page 164 It’s contextual......Page 167 9. Clarify, Clarify, Clarify......Page 171 No mind reading......Page 172 The most important social strategy......Page 174 One problem......Page 175 I know what you’re thinking......Page 176 What are you afraid of?......Page 177 Stop punishing honesty......Page 178 An important agreement......Page 180 Ask, ask, ask......Page 181 Clarify for the literal mind......Page 182 What’s the protocol?......Page 183 Problem solved......Page 184 10. The Art of Negotiation......Page 187 What do you believe?......Page 188 The role of being right......Page 189 Rules of engagement......Page 191 Can you repeat that?......Page 193 Don’t touch me......Page 194 It’s all about “We”......Page 195 The problem solver......Page 196 Reversing selfishness......Page 197 Being a follower......Page 198 Teaching “We”......Page 199 Everyday leverage......Page 203 Keeping your agreements......Page 205 The Three Gs......Page 207 How it’s done......Page 208 Practice, practice......Page 209 11. Asking for Help and Getting It......Page 211 Meltdown at the airport......Page 212 Speak up......Page 215 I don’t need help......Page 216 I don’t know how......Page 217 Touch and Go......Page 232 Ignoring the signs......Page 233 No place to go......Page 236 Social disclaimers......Page 237 12. From Rejection to Resilience......Page 241 Filling in the gaps......Page 242 So many questions......Page 244 Using the Ws......Page 245 Plan B......Page 249 The importance of why......Page 251 What’s the solution?......Page 252 Reaping what you sow......Page 255 Let’s review......Page 258 Where to go from “no”......Page 260 What if I said “no”?......Page 261 The “yes” solution......Page 262 Accepting “no”......Page 264 Glossary......Page 271 References......Page 273 "Having a child on the autism spectrum can feel like a full-time power struggle due to communication difficulties that leave both parent and child feeling defeated. This collection of life-changing strategies and solutions will enable even the most flagging parents to work towards a positive relationship that fosters cooperation and mutual respect and will keep everybody happy. The author has dedicated over 20 years to studying, observing and implementing communication strategies that help him, his wife, their three children and his clients experience positive relationships. His immediate family are all on the autism spectrum and they work together to understand one another, resolve misunderstandings, and help each other feel important, loved and respected. Sharing their inspirational personal experiences and interweaving every chapter with practical hints and tips, the book looks at how communication works, emphasizing the importance of building confidence and laying down ground rules. Each chapter contains dialogue that shows how the strategies really work, and how to get communication working for everyone. This book will be essential reading for all parents of children on the autism spectrum, regardless of whether or not they are on the spectrum themselves. It will also be of interest to everybody else looking to facilitate and improve relationships with young people."--Provided by publisher Containing life-changing strategies and solutions, this book will enable everyone who knows, lives with or works with an individual with autism to achieve a positive relationship that fosters cooperation and mutual respect.The author has dedicated over 20 years to studying, observing and implementing communication strategies that help him, his wife, their three children and his clients experience positive relationships. His immediate family are all on the autism spectrum and they work together to understand one another, resolve misunderstandings, and help each other feel important, loved and respected. Sharing their inspirational personal experiences and interweaving every chapter with practical hints and tips, the book looks at how to get communication working for everyone and emphasizes the importance of laying down ground rules and building confidence.This book will be essential reading for family, friends and professionals who wish to communicate more effectively with those on the autism spectrum. King's immediate family are all on the autism spectrum, and they work together to understand one another, resolve misunderstandings, and help each other feel important, loved, and respected. Here, he discusses the communication strategies that help them, and his clients, and shows how to experience positive relationships for everyone