Standing in the Fire : Leading High-heat Meetings with Clarity, Calm, and Courage

Many experienced facilitators, OD consultants, coaches, and organizational leaders increasingly find themselves “standing in the fire” -- working in situations where group and community members are polarized, angry, fearful, and confused. Facilitator Larry Dressler has come to believe that simply picking up yet another method or technique won’t help in situations like these. What has a truly transformational impact is what he calls the facilitator’s presence. Cultivating an ability to access a compassionate presence that people experience as open, authentic, and clear in intention during the most difficult situations moves facilitators from being competent professionals to being on a path toward self-mastery. Standing in the Fire offers a set of self-directed principles and practices that enable facilitators to work on themselves—to keep their emotional balance no matter how overheated things threaten to become. It brings together profound teachings from diverse fields, including western psychology, eastern spiritual practices, the arts, social sciences and medical research. Dressler’s grounded, empathetic approach helps readers reawaken and discover an untapped capacity that comes from within and is expressed as a powerful presence standing in service to a group. Shows that the key to effectively leading difficult meetings lies not in acquiring more tools and techniques but in your state of mind Offers dozens of stories, exercises and practices to help readers cultivate a grounded, compassionate, purposeful presence Draws on Dressler{u2019}s interviews with 35 distinguished experts in facilitation, negotiation, organizational development and leadership High heat meetings seem to be happening in more and more organizations these days. Situations where participants are polarized, angry, fearful, confused. If you facilitate meetings for a living, all your well-learned techniques won{u2019}t help you in volatile and unpredictable situations like this. If you lead meetings as simply one part of your job, you probably feel even less able to cope. The answer is not another technique{u2014}not something you do to people. Veteran facilitator Larry Dressler has learned the hard way that when stakes are high, outcomes uncertain, and emotions running wild what makes the crucial difference is the leader{u2019}s presence. To work with people in high-heat meetings you have to work on yourself. Standing in the Fire shares not just Dressler{u2019}s experiences but also the insights of 35 iconic facilitators, leaders, conveners, and change agents, all with an eye to helping you stay grounded and focused enough to make the kind of inventive, split-second decisions these pressure-cooker situations demand. He outlines the mindsets, the emotional and physical ways of being that will enable you to master yourself so you can remain firmly in service to the group, and offers dozens of practices for cultivating these capabilities before, during and after any meeting. In meetings as in the natural world fire can be creative rather than destructive{u2014}but only if handled skillfully. Standing in the Fire gives you everything you need to keep from being draw into the inferno yourself and instead become a masterful fire tender Shows that the key to effectively leading difficult meetings lies not in acquiring more tools and techniques but in your state of mind Offers dozens of stories, exercises and practices to help readers cultivate a grounded, compassionate, purposeful presence Draws on Dresslerâ€TMs interviews with 35 distinguished experts in facilitation, negotiation, organizational development and leadership High heat meetings seem to be happening in more and more organizations these days. Situations where participants are polarized, angry, fearful, confused. If you facilitate meetings for a living, all your well-learned techniques wonâ€TMt help you in volatile and unpredictable situations like this. If you lead meetings as simply one part of your job, you probably feel even less able to cope. The answer is not another technique—not something you do to people. Veteran facilitator Larry Dressler has learned the hard way that when stakes are high, outcomes uncertain, and emotions running wild what makes the crucial difference is the leaderâ€TMs presence. To work with people in high-heat meetings you have to work on yourself. Standing in the Fire shares not just Dresslerâ€TMs experiences but also the insights of 35 iconic facilitators, leaders, conveners, and change agents, all with an eye to helping you stay grounded and focused enough to make the kind of inventive, split-second decisions these pressure-cooker situations demand. He outlines the mindsets, the emotional and physical ways of being that will enable you to master yourself so you can remain firmly in service to the group, and offers dozens of practices for cultivating these capabilities before, during and after any meeting. In meetings as in the natural world fire can be creative rather than destructive—but only if handled skillfully. Standing in the Fire gives you everything you need to keep from being draw into the inferno yourself and instead become a masterful fire tender. Real organizational change isnt brought about by decree, pressure, permission, or even persuasion. Sustained change comes when people are passionately and personally committed to a future that they have helped to shape. If you want to turn your organizations cynics into owners, give them a voice in the decisions that impact their work. Consensus Through Conversation shows how. Consensus is a cooperative process in which all of a groups members develop and agree to actively support a decision. Its not mere acquiescenceconsensus goes several steps beyond, transforming people from resigned instruction-followers to dedicated champions of an idea. Larry Dressler shows you exactly how to prepare for a successful consensus-building process, takes you step-by-step through that process, and offers tips for success and traps to avoid. Throughout, he provides a host of tools and examples that make this an eminently practical and immediately useful guide. Consensus Through Conversation will give you the tools you need to use consensus effectively in your organization. It is a handy, vital reference that you will turn to again and again in your efforts to tackle high stakes issues, make high quality decisions, and build enthusiasm and commitment to action. From an accomplished international facilitator, “a must-read for anyone who must navigate through a sea of emotionally charged issues” (Russell Coff, Associate Professor of Organization and Management, Emory University). Experienced facilitators, OD consultants, coaches, and organizational leaders increasingly find themselves standing in the fire—working in situations where group and community members are polarized, angry, fearful, and confused. Facilitator Larry Dressler has come to believe that simply picking up yet another method or technique won't help in situations like these. What has a truly transformational impact is what he calls the “facilitators presence.” Cultivating an ability to access a compassionate presence that people experience as open, authentic, and clear in intention during the most difficult situations moves facilitators from being competent professionals to being on a path toward self-mastery. In this helpful guide, he explains how to make that transformation happen. Contents......Page 10 Foreword......Page 12 Preface......Page 16 INTRODUCTION: THE POWER OF FIRE......Page 24 PART I: THE FIRE......Page 30 1 Fire for Better or Worse......Page 32 2 We Are Fire Tenders......Page 47 PART II: SIX WAYS OF STANDING......Page 58 3 Stand with Self-Awareness......Page 61 4 Stand in the Here and Now......Page 77 5 Stand with an Open Mind......Page 88 6 Know What You Stand For......Page 103 7 Dance with Surprises......Page 120 8 Stand with Compassion......Page 133 PART III: PRACTICES......Page 148 9 Cultivate Everyday Readiness......Page 150 10 Prepare to Lead......Page 172 11 Face the Fire......Page 185 12 Reflect and Renew......Page 203 CONCLUSION: STEPPING INTO THE FIRE CIRCLE......Page 222 Notes......Page 224 Suggested Reading......Page 227 Web-based Resources......Page 229 Acknowledgments......Page 230 About the Author......Page 232 C......Page 234 F......Page 235 K......Page 236 P......Page 237 S......Page 238 Y......Page 239

Whether you for facilitate meetings for a living or simply as part of your job, you've surely found yourself "standing in the fire"-at the center of a group that is polarized, angry, fearful, and confused. Veteran facilitator Larry Dressler has found that what makes the crucial difference in these situations is the leader' presence. You have to master away of being that allows you to remain effective no matter a way of being that allows you to remain effective no matter how hot things get.

Dressler shows how to cultivate six "stances"-mental, emotional, and physical-that will keep you steady, impartial, purposeful, compassionate, and good-humored. Drawing on his own experiences and the insights of thirty-five distinguished practitioners, he helps you keep your cool and make the kind of inventive, spilt-second decisions these pressure-cooker situations demand.

Contents 10 Foreword 12 Preface 16 INTRODUCTION: THE POWER OF FIRE 24 PART I: THE FIRE 30 1 Fire for Better or Worse 32 2 We Are Fire Tenders 47 PART II: SIX WAYS OF STANDING 58 3 Stand with Self-Awareness 61 4 Stand in the Here and Now 77 5 Stand with an Open Mind 88 6 Know What You Stand For 103 7 Dance with Surprises 120 8 Stand with Compassion 133 PART III: PRACTICES 148 9 Cultivate Everyday Readiness 150 10 Prepare to Lead 172 11 Face the Fire 185 12 Reflect and Renew 203 CONCLUSION: STEPPING INTO THE FIRE CIRCLE 222 Notes 224 Suggested Reading 227 Web-based Resources 229 Acknowledgments 230 About the Author 232 Index 234 A 234 B 234 C 234 D 235 E 235 F 235 G 236 H 236 I 236 J 236 K 236 L 237 M 237 N 237 O 237 P 237 R 238 S 238 T 239 U 239 V 239 W 239 Y 239 Real organizational change isn't brought about by decree, pressure, permission, or even persuasion. Sustained change comes when people are passionately and personally committed to a future that they have helped to shape. If you want to turn your organization's cynics into owners, give them a voice in the decisions that impact their work. Consensus Through Conversation shows how.

Consensus is a cooperative process in which all of a group's members develop and agree to actively support a decision. It's not mere acquiescence "Dressler shows how to cultivate six stances, mental, emotional, and physical that will keep you steady, impartial, purposeful, compassionate, and good humored. Drawing on his own experiences and the insights of thirty-five distinguished practitioners, he helps you keep your cool and make the kind of incentive, split-second decisions these pressure-cooker situations demand." --Back cover Standing in the Fire offers a set of self-directed principles and practices that enable facilitators and human resource personnel to keep their emotional balance no matter how overheated things threaten to become in the workplace