Safe : A Memoir of Fatherhood, Foster Care, and the Risks We Take for Family

A heartrending and unforgettable memoir of an unlikely journey to parenthood through America's broken foster care system. What does it take to keep a child safe? As a long-time strategist and activist fighting for better outcomes for foster children, Mark Daley thought he had the answer. But when Ethan and Logan, an adorable infant and a precocious toddler, entered into their lives, Mark and his husband Jason quickly realized they were not remotely prepared for the uncertainty and complication of foster parenting. Every day seven hundred children enter the foster care system in the United States, and thousands more live on the brink. Safe offers a deeply personal window into what happens when the universal longing for family crashes up against the unique madness and bureaucracy of a child protection system that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of all—the children themselves. Daley takes us on a roller coaster ride as he and Jason grapple with Ethan and Logan's potential reunification with their biological family, learn brutal lessons about sacrifice, acceptance, and healing, and face the honest, heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious challenges of becoming a parent at the intersection of intergenerational trauma, inadequate social support, and systemic issues of prejudice. For fans of Nicole Chung's All You Can Ever Know , Stephanie Land's Maid , and Roxanna Asgarian's We Were Once a Family , this touching and suspenseful memoir highlights the impossible choices all parents, in the foster system and beyond, face in raising children today. Safe shines a much-needed spotlight on how this country treats the most vulnerable among us, sounding a vital call to overhaul a thoroughly broken system. A candid, unforgettable, and often hilarious memoir of two dads daunting quest for fatherhood. At nearly forty years old, Mark Daley was at the top of his gamethe owner of a booming business, a roster of celebrity clients, and newly married to Jason, the man of his dreamsbut Mark yearned for more, a family. At odds with biology, Jason and Mark flirted with surrogacy before ultimately deciding to strive for adoption through the foster care system. Determined to avoid the tragic fate experienced by members of his family, Mark and Jason skipped into fostering with the gleeful naivety of fairytale heroes. What does it really take to keep a child safe? Mark thought he had the answer, having grown up with foster-adopted cousins and been an advocate for child welfare agencies. But when Logan and Ethan, an adorable infant and a precocious toddler, entered their lives, Mark quickly realized he and Jason were not remotely prepared for the uncertainty and complications of foster parenting much less the emotional roller-coaster of knowing that for their family to stay together another family had to break apart. Seven hundred children enter the foster care system in the United States every day, and thousands more live on the brink. Safe offers a deeply personal window into what happens when the universal longing for family crashes up against the unique madness and bureaucracy of a child protection system that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of allthe children themselves. Daley takes us on a suspenseful journey as he and Jason grapple with Logan and Ethans potential reunification with their biological family, and learn brutal lessons about sacrifice, acceptance, and healing along the way. Daleys witty, compassionate voice grabs readers from the first page, as he faces the honest, heartrending, and sometimes sidesplitting challenges of parenting and loving children whose future with him hangs in the balance. “If you want a lifechanging book, this is the one to read.” —The View “A truly revealing” (Hillary Clinton) memoir of an unlikely journey to parenthood through America's broken foster care system.What does it take to keep a child safe? As a long-time strategist and activist fighting for better outcomes for foster children, Mark Daley thought he knew the answer. But when Ethan and Logan, an adorable infant and a precocious toddler, entered their lives, Mark and his husband Jason quickly realized they were not remotely prepared for the uncertainty and complication of foster parenting. Every day seven hundred children enter the foster care system in the United States, and thousands more live on the brink. Safe offers a deeply personal and “riveting” (Booklist) window into what happens when the universal longing for family crashes up against the unique madness and bureaucracy of a child protection system that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of all—the children themselves. Daley takes us on a roller-coaster ride as he and Jason grapple with Ethan and Logan's potential reunification with their biological family, learn brutal lessons about sacrifice, acceptance, and healing, and face the honest, heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious challenges of becoming a parent at the intersection of intergenerational trauma, inadequate social support, and systemic issues of prejudice. For fans of Nicole Chung's All You Can Ever Know, Stephanie Land's Maid, and Roxanna Asgarian's We Were Once a Family, Safe is “a strong indictment of a failed child welfare system, but with an unexpectedly happy ending that speaks to the power of love” (Kirkus Reviews).