Riding outside the lines : international incidents and other misadventures with the metal cowboy

Like a modern-day Don Quixote, Joe Kurmaskie'bike adventurer, writer, and twelve-year-old boy trapped in a man's body'wanders the world on two wheels, often with hilarious results, in Riding Outside the Lines. A jaunt through such far-flung locations as Ireland, Australia, Mexico, South America, and beyond, here is a collection of tales woven together with one central theme: the world is a much smaller place when you view it from the seat of a bicycle. Whether he's weekending in the buff after accidentally stumbling into a nudist colony wedding, knocking back red wine in tin cans with a gun-toting ex'bounty hunter, combing the countryside in a quest to find the all-girl bagpipe squad he met in his dreams, or playing a rousing game of ice golf on the frozen tundra, Joe Kurmaskie writes of his gonzo global trek in a spirit infused with insight, good humor, and optimism. Riding Outside the Lines encourages travel buffs and armchair explorers alike to get on your bike and see the beauty of our planet and the colorful souls who populate it. From the Trade Paperback edition Oh, to be young and go very, very fast Finding sanctuary in a wild world If you can't run with the big geese, stay on the porch It's a good day to ride! Heartbreak Hotel, the day Elvis took my bike for a spin Making music with the button boy of the Delaware Water Gap The touring cyclist's diet, anything that's not nailed down Cutting corners rough road ahead: Do not exceed posted speed limit Doing the hokey-pokey Trying not to miss the boat Mistaken identity, I pedaled a thousand miles just to slip this skin complications When the going gets tough, metal cowboys head for Aruba The brothers who dreamed of buying back the rodeo Half the battle is getting to the starting line Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Good night, Samantha Big air The angel of Cherry Hill, New Jersey The next parade A petroglyph is worth a thousand words Way down upon the Suwannee River Storm warnings There's a little Greg LeMond in every touring cyclist The man who couldn't shoot straight The spirit's willing but the flesh is pedaling on borrowed time A walk in the park Heavy loads a Baja state of mind The tree huggers versus the tree cutters, as told by the fence-sitter You can't go home again, but pedaling by it is another story A friendly game of darts Big plans on little buses In transit Black range riding Breakdowns and other blessings Traveling companion The day before the best day of my life Just trying to make it home. This heartwarming collection of true stories reveals the thrill and the freedom of traveling America's back roads on a bicycle, and the joy of discovering unforgettable characters along the way.From the moment he "borrowed" his big sister's banana-seat bike and careened down the neighborhood hill at the age of five, Joe Kurmaskie has known the intoxicating freedom and power of the bicycle. In this big-hearted collection of stories, Joe -- dubbed the "Metal Cowboy" by a blind rancher he encountered one icy morning in Idaho -- tells of his whimsical, wild adventures through the American landscape. Forty essays describe the author's cycling experiences, including five cross-country trips, and meeting a variety of unusual people along the way. Reprint. 20,000 first printing. IT WAS 5:30 A.M. IN POCATELLO, IDAHO, A THIN SHEET OF ICY rain masked sunrise, and I wasn't quite sure i was up for my latest bicycling adventure.