Rethinking Misogyny : Men's Perceptions of Female Power in Dating Relationships

In this path-breaking book Anna Arrowsmith analyzes gendered dating behavior and shows how men's behavior is both defined and illustrated by societal norms that require a particular masculine performance, including those desired by potential female performers. Using the case-study of pick-up artistry which is compared to interviews with other men who date women, this book analyzes how the men deal with conflicting ideas borne out of living in an age when both hegemonic (harder, historic) and inclusive (softer, modern) masculinities co-exist. It asks whether men acknowledge their own insecurities or whether they focus on perceived external triggers, such as female culpability as a means of ignoring their own concerns, or, whether men respond to insecurities by focusing on an active process of overcoming them. Through exploring male experiences of female beauty, emotions, fertility, strength, female violence and sexual assault, Arrowsmith's findings encourage a new path of enquiry in gender studies which explores and includes men's words as central to interpreting their behavior and how it is understood. This book has political worth as it differentiates and delineates between emotive and often misogynistic demands for an entire rethink of the gender order by some men's rights activists and a genuine need to incorporate male insecurities and psychological experiences in how we understand gender to be structured and performed, as a means to increase equality In this path-breaking book Anna Arrowsmith analyses gendered dating behaviour and shows how men's behaviour is both defined and illustrated by societal norms that require a particular masculine performance, including those desired by potential female performers. Using the case-study of pick-up artistry which is compared to interviews with other men who date women, this book analyses how the men deal with conflicting ideas borne out of living in an age when both hegemonic (harder, historic) and inclusive (softer, modern) masculinities co-exist. It asks whether men acknowledge their own insecurities or whether they focus on perceived external triggers, such as female culpability as a means of ignoring their own concerns, or, whether men respond to insecurities by focusing on an active process of overcoming them. Through exploring male experiences of female beauty, emotions, fertility, strength, female violence and sexual assault, Arrowsmith's findings encourage a new path of enquiry in gender studies which explores and includes men's words as central to interpreting their behaviour and how it is understood. This book has political worth as it differentiates and delineates between emotive and often misogynistic demands for an entire rethink of the gender order by some men's rights activists and a genuine need to incorporate male insecurities and psychological experiences in how we understand gender to be structured and performed, as a means to increase equality. Anna Arrowsmith analyses gendered dating behaviour and shows how men’s behaviour is both defined and illustrated by societal norms that require a particular masculine performance, including those desired by potential female performers. Using the case-study of pick-up artistry which is compared to interviews with other men who date women, this book analyses how the men deal with conflicting ideas borne out of living in an age when both hegemonic (harder, historic) and inclusive (softer, modern) masculinities co-exist. 0It asks whether men acknowledge their own insecurities or whether they focus on perceived external triggers, such as female culpability as a means of ignoring their own concerns, or, whether men respond to insecurities by focusing on an active process of overcoming them Cover 1 Contents 6 Glossary 8 Acknowledgements 12 Introduction 14 A Note on my Methodology 20 Introducing Pickup Artistry 28 Conclusion 44 1 Men’s Thoughts about Themselves and Other Men 46 Homosociality in this Book 46 Body Image 65 Conclusion 75 2 Men’s Thoughts about Women 82 Dating Relations 82 Female Power 88 Men’s Responses to Female Physical Attractiveness 90 Concerns about Women 103 Conclusion 117 3 Men’s Thoughts on Dating 124 Making the First Move 124 Difficulties in the Dating Scene 127 Portrayals of Dating in the Media 130 Monogamy 133 Power Between Genders 136 Conclusion 148 Conclusions 152 Introduction 152 Masculinity Theories 158 On-going Gender Studies 163 Works Cited 168 Index 176