Reconcilable differences. Doss, Brian D. Doss, and Neil S. Jacobson : rebuild your relationship by rediscovering the partner you love--without losing yourself

Every couple has disagreements, but what happens when recurring conflicts start to pull your relationship apart? Do you lie awake hoping that your spouse will eventually see things your way, or rehashing the evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps and thought-provoking exercises in this book can make it a reality. You'll learn why you keep having the same f.;Cover; Half Title Page; Title Page; Copyright Page; Dedication; Contents; Acknowledgments; Preface; Part I. The Conflicting Sides of Conflict; 1. Three Sides to Every Story; 2. "You're Wrong!": Relationship Problems as Faults; Part II. A DEEP Understanding of Conflict: The Third Side of the Story; 3. "How Can You Be That Way?": Relationship Problems as Differences; 4. "You Know How to Hurt Me": Relationship Problems as Emotional Sensitivities; 5. "Can't You See I'm Stressed Out?": Relationship Problems as External Circumstances. Cover Half Title Page Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Contents Acknowledgments Preface Part I. The Conflicting Sides of Conflict 1. Three Sides to Every Story 2. "You're Wrong!": Relationship Problems as Faults Part II. A DEEP Understanding of Conflict: The Third Side of the Story 3. "How Can You Be That Way?": Relationship Problems as Differences 4. "You Know How to Hurt Me": Relationship Problems as Emotional Sensitivities 5. "Can't You See I'm Stressed Out?": Relationship Problems as External Circumstances. 6. A Cure Worse Than the Disease: Relationship Problems as Patterns of CommunicationPart III. From Argument to Acceptance 7. The Delicate Balance: Acceptance and Change 8. A Story of Our Own: Acceptance through Understanding 9. Walking in Your Partner's Shoes: Acceptance through Compassion 10. Getting Some Perspective on the Conflict: Acceptance through Tolerant Distance Part IV. Deliberate Change through Acceptance 11. The Dilemmas of Deliberate Change 12. Deliberate Change through Mindfulness: Custom-FittingChange to Suit Your Relationship. 13. Deliberate Change through Communication: Taking Good Advice about Talking and Listening with a Mindful Grain of Salt14. The Silver Bullet of Deliberate Change: Taking Charge of Change Even When Things Go Bad Part V. When Acceptance Is Not Enough 15. "Don't Do That to Me!": Violence, Verbal Abuse, and Infidelity 16. Calling In the Professionals: Couple and Individual Therapy Resources Bibliography Index About the Authors. Every couple has disagreements, but what happens when recurring conflicts start to pull your relationship apart? Do you lie awake hoping that your spouse will eventually see things your way, or rehashing the evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps and thought-provoking exercises in this book can make it a reality. You'll learn why you keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness. Mental health professionals: visit http://ibct.psych.ucla.edu to learn about using this self-help guide as an adjunct to therapy. "If only he could see things from my point of view." "Why does she have to act that way?" No matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance of one another may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps in this book can make it a reality. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and vivid stories, readers learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness"--Proporcionat per l'editor ""If only he could see things from my point of view." "Why does she have to act that way?" No matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance of one another may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps in this book can make it a reality. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and vivid stories, readers learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness"-- Provided by publisher ""If only he could see things from my point of view." "Why does she have to act that way?" No matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance of one another may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps in this book can make it a reality. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and vivid stories, readers learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness"--Résumé de l'éditeur