Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness : The Legacy of Albert Ellis

This text reveals how the principles of rational living identified by Albert Ellis, one of the world's most influential and popular psychologists, can be used by anyone to achieve lifelong happiness. This book reveals how the principles of rational living identified by Albert Ellis, one of the world's most influential and popular psychologists, can be used by anyone to achieve lifelong happiness. Reveals the 11 principles of rational living that when put into practice can consistently increase levels of personal happiness Includes selected excerpts from Ellis' writings, revealing the difference between the psychological architectures of emotional unhappiness and human happiness Presents verbatim transcripts of private counseling sessions, as well as public lectures and demonstrations with people addressing a wide range of personal issues Offers insights into how 'rationality' can be used by anyone to reduce the intensity of negative emotions, to increase the frequency of positive emotions and to promote life satisfaction Albert Ellis, one of the world's most influential psychologists, founded Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the 1950s. Over the years, this pioneering form of cognitive behavior therapy has advanced the emotional well-being of hundreds of thousands of people around the world. Yet while Ellis's innovative approaches for helping people with emotional difficulties are well known, his views on the pursuit of personal happiness - which have also influenced generations of people both with and without such problems - are far more elusive. Ellis's powerful arguments in favor of the rational pursuit of happiness are set out for the very first time in this book. Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness presents Ellis's views on how the principles of rational living can be used by anyone to achieve lifelong happiness. Transcripts of private counseling sessions and public forums reveal the great power of rationality and the self-defeating nature of irrationality. Drawing on 50 years of Ellis's writing, Michael Bernard shows how the emotional misery that arises from irrational thinking of the human psyche can obstruct our innate potential for self-actualization and happiness. In doing so, he firmly establishes Ellis as a pioneer of positive psychology and a human being whose superior intellect and years of public education and psychotherapy experience offer genuine insights into the eternal question of what makes for a happy life Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness: The Legacy of Albert Ellis......Page 5 Contents......Page 9 About the Author......Page 15 Preface......Page 17 1 Albert Ellis and the Pursuit of Happiness......Page 23 The Early Life and Times of Albert Ellis......Page 25 Albert Ellis’ (Generally) Pleasurable and Happy Personal Life......Page 26 Albert Ellis’ Professional Life was Self-actualized......Page 28 Ellis Speaks Common Sense......Page 30 The Dual Nature of the Human Psyche......Page 31 Nature–Nurture......Page 32 The Purpose and Goals of Life......Page 33 Happiness......Page 34 Self-actualization......Page 36 Ellis Abandons Self-esteem......Page 38 Finding Happiness: No Apologies Needed......Page 39 What is Unhappiness?......Page 41 Thinking Makes It So......Page 43 Irrational Thinking......Page 44 Irrational Beliefs that Create Unhappiness......Page 47 The Strength of Irrational Convictions......Page 52 People Upset Themselves About Being Upset......Page 57 The Development of REBT......Page 63 The ABCs of REBT......Page 66 Disputing Methods and New Rational Effects......Page 74 The Elegant Solution......Page 85 Fun and Humor......Page 86 4 The Philosophy of Happiness: Principles of Rational Living......Page 89 Rational Principle 1: Self-interest......Page 90 Rational Principle 3: Self-direction......Page 92 Rational Principle 4: Self-acceptance......Page 93 Rational Principle 5: Tolerance of Others......Page 95 Rational Principle 6: Short-term and Long-term Hedonism......Page 96 Rational Principle 7: Commitment to Creative, Absorbing Activities and Pursuits......Page 97 Rational Principle 8: Responsible Risk-taking and Experimenting......Page 100 Rational Principle 9: High Frustration Tolerance and Willpower......Page 101 Rational Principle 10: Problem Solving......Page 103 Rational Principle 11: Scientific Thinking and Flexibility......Page 105 The Rational Mindset of a Happy and Fulfilled Person......Page 106 5 Love......Page 109 Love Slobbism......Page 110 Romantic Love......Page 114 Jealousy and Possessiveness......Page 120 Keeping Love Alive......Page 125 Encountering Suitable Partners......Page 127 Mating......Page 133 Separating......Page 143 7 Sex......Page 149 The Right to Sexual Enjoyment......Page 151 Ellis on Sexual Morality......Page 152 A Rational Approach to Sex Problems......Page 163 8 Women......Page 177 Depression......Page 179 Dating and Mating......Page 184 Work......Page 188 Programs for Women......Page 194 Irrationality and Homosexuality......Page 195 REBT Counseling......Page 198 AIDS......Page 205 10 Work......Page 209 Emotional Problems about Practical Problems at Work......Page 210 Enhancing Decisiveness......Page 213 Poor Self-Esteem in the Workplace......Page 218 Perfectionism......Page 223 Procrastination......Page 231 11 Children and Parents......Page 239 Parenting Styles and Discipline......Page 240 Overcoming the Emotional Stresses of Parenting......Page 242 How Parents Can Help Solve Problems of Their Children......Page 248 Relating to Your Parents......Page 251 12 Death and Dying......Page 263 A Humanistic Conception of Death......Page 264 Rational Living with Dying......Page 265 13 Rational Living in an Irrational World......Page 273 14 Albert Ellis Interviewed by Michael E. Bernard (from 1986 to 2004)......Page 285 On a Philosophy of Life as Therapy......Page 286 On Religion......Page 287 On Spirituality......Page 288 On Politics......Page 290 On the Mental Health of People in the Twenty-first Century......Page 291 On the Future of REBT......Page 292 On Rational Beliefs and the Degree of Self-acceptance......Page 293 On the Need to Strengthen Rational Beliefs......Page 294 On Self-Actualizing......Page 298 On Homosexuality......Page 299 On Marriage......Page 301 On Sex......Page 302 On the Use of REBT with Men and Women......Page 303 On Dispelling Myths about REBT......Page 305 On the Professional Acceptance of REBT......Page 306 On His Work Ethic......Page 307 On Satisfying Moments Over the Years......Page 309 On His Recent Pleasurable Moments......Page 310 If He Had to Do It All Over Again?......Page 311 A Rational Approach to Happiness......Page 313 References and Acknowledgment of Copyright......Page 321 Index......Page 323 Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness: The Legacy of Albert Ellis 5 Contents 9 About the Author 15 Preface 17 1 Albert Ellis and the Pursuit of Happiness 23 The Early Life and Times of Albert Ellis 25 Albert Ellis’ (Generally) Pleasurable and Happy Personal Life 26 Albert Ellis’ Professional Life was Self-actualized 28 Ellis Speaks Common Sense 30 The Dual Nature of the Human Psyche 31 Nature–Nurture 32 The Purpose and Goals of Life 33 Happiness 34 Self-actualization 36 Ellis Abandons Self-esteem 38 Finding Happiness: No Apologies Needed 39 2 Why We Get Unhappy 41 What is Unhappiness? 41 Thinking Makes It So 43 Irrational Thinking 44 Irrational Beliefs that Create Unhappiness 47 The Strength of Irrational Convictions 52 People Upset Themselves About Being Upset 57 3 Refusing to Become Desperately Unhappy 63 The Development of REBT 63 The ABCs of REBT 66 Disputing Methods and New Rational Effects 74 The Elegant Solution 85 Fun and Humor 86 4 The Philosophy of Happiness: Principles of Rational Living 89 Rational Principle 1: Self-interest 90 Rational Principle 2: Social Interest 92 Rational Principle 3: Self-direction 92 Rational Principle 4: Self-acceptance 93 Rational Principle 5: Tolerance of Others 95 Rational Principle 6: Short-term and Long-term Hedonism 96 Rational Principle 7: Commitment to Creative, Absorbing Activities and Pursuits 97 Rational Principle 8: Responsible Risk-taking and Experimenting 100 Rational Principle 9: High Frustration Tolerance and Willpower 101 Rational Principle 10: Problem Solving 103 Rational Principle 11: Scientific Thinking and Flexibility 105 The Rational Mindset of a Happy and Fulfilled Person 106 5 Love 109 Love Slobbism 110 Romantic Love 114 Jealousy and Possessiveness 120 Keeping Love Alive 125 6 Relationships 127 Encountering Suitable Partners 127 Mating 133 Separating 143 7 Sex 149 The Right to Sexual Enjoyment 151 Ellis on Sexual Morality 152 A Rational Approach to Sex Problems 163 8 Women 177 Depression 179 Weight 184 Dating and Mating 184 Work 188 Programs for Women 194 9 Homosexuality 195 Irrationality and Homosexuality 195 REBT Counseling 198 AIDS 205 10 Work 209 Emotional Problems about Practical Problems at Work 210 Enhancing Decisiveness 213 Poor Self-Esteem in the Workplace 218 Perfectionism 223 Procrastination 231 11 Children and Parents 239 Parenting Styles and Discipline 240 Overcoming the Emotional Stresses of Parenting 242 How Parents Can Help Solve Problems of Their Children 248 Relating to Your Parents 251 12 Death and Dying 263 A Humanistic Conception of Death 264 Rational Living with Dying 265 13 Rational Living in an Irrational World 273 14 Albert Ellis Interviewed by Michael E. Bernard (from 1986 to 2004) 285 On a Philosophy of Life as Therapy 286 On Religion 287 On Spirituality 288 On Politics 290 On the Mental Health of People in the Twenty-first Century 291 On the Future of the Human Race 292 On the Future of REBT 292 On Rational Beliefs and the Degree of Self-acceptance 293 On the Need to Strengthen Rational Beliefs 294 On Self-downing 298 On Self-Actualizing 298 On Homosexuality 299 On Marriage 301 On Sex 302 On the Use of REBT in Diverse Cultures 303 On the Use of REBT with Men and Women 303 On Dispelling Myths about REBT 305 On the Professional Acceptance of REBT 306 On His Work Ethic 307 On His Morning Mindset 309 On Dealing with Physical Ailments 309 On Satisfying Moments Over the Years 309 On His Recent Pleasurable Moments 310 On His Regrets 311 If He Had to Do It All Over Again? 311 A Rational Approach to Happiness 313 References and Acknowledgment of Copyright 321 Index 323 ISBN,9780470683125,(cloth),–,ISBN,9780470683118,(pbk.) John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. (UK) RATIONALITY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS “This book is a labor of love! Michael Bernard has painstakingly transcribed a number of Albert Ellis's therapy and demonstration sessions as well as a selection of his lectures and has used this material to excellent effect to make Dr Ellis's views on psychological health and happiness come alive. A gem of a book on a gem of a man by a gem of an author.” Professor Windy Dryden, Goldsmiths, University of London, UK “Michael Bernard's book reveals the importance of ‘rationality'as a positive faculty of mind that enables people to strengthen their resilience and self-efficacy in order to not only cope with the inevitable challenges, demands and changes characteristic of our post-modern age but, in addition, through the application of different principles of rational living identified by legendary psychologist Albert Ellis, to live fulfilled and meaningful professional and personal lives. I confidently commend this book.” Professor Field Rickards, Dean, Graduate School of Education, University of Melbourne, Australia Albert Ellis, one of the world's most influential psychologists, founded Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the 1950s. Over the years, this pioneering form of cognitive behavior therapy has advanced the emotional well-being of hundreds of thousands of people around the world. Yet while Ellis's innovative approaches for helping people with emotional difficulties are well known, his views on the pursuit of personal happiness – which have also influenced generations of people both with and without such problems – are far more elusive. Ellis's powerful arguments in favor of the rational pursuit of happiness are set out for the very first time in this book. Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness presents Ellis's views on how the principles of rational living can be used by anyone to achieve lifelong happiness. Transcripts of private counseling sessions and public forums reveal the great power of rationality and the self-defeating nature of irrationality. Drawing on 50 years of Ellis's writing, Michael Bernard shows how the emotional misery that arises from irrational thinking of the human psyche can obstruct our innate potential for self-actualization and happiness. In doing so, he firmly establishes Ellis as a pioneer of positive psychology and a human being whose superior intellect and years of public education and psychotherapy experience offer genuine insights into the eternal question of what makes for a happy life. RATIONALITY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS This book is a labor of love! Michael Bernard has painstakingly transcribed a number of Albert Elliss therapy and demonstration sessions as well as a selection of his lectures and has used this material to excellent effect to make Dr Elliss views on psychological health and happiness come alive. A gem of a book on a gem of a man by a gem of an author. Professor Windy Dryden, Goldsmiths, University of London, UK Michael Bernards book reveals the importance of rationality as a positive faculty of mind that enables people to strengthen their resilience and self-efficacy in order to not only cope with the inevitable challenges, demands and changes characteristic of our post-modern age but, in addition, through the application of different principles of rational living identified by legendary psychologist Albert Ellis, to live fulfilled and meaningful professional and personal lives. I confidently commend this book. Professor Field Rickards, Dean, Graduate School of Education, University of Melbourne, Australia Albert Ellis, one of the worlds most influential psychologists, founded Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the 1950s. Over the years, this pioneering form of cognitive behavior therapy has advanced the emotional well-being of hundreds of thousands of people around the world. Yet while Elliss innovative approaches for helping people with emotional difficulties are well known, his views on the pursuit of personal happiness which have also influenced generations of people both with and without such problems are far more elusive. Elliss powerful arguments in favor of the rational pursuit of happiness are set out for the very first time in this book. Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness presents Elliss views on how the principles of rational living can be used by anyone to achieve lifelong happiness. Transcripts of private counseling sessions and public forums reveal the great power of rationality and the self-defeating nature of irrationality. Drawing on 50 years of Elliss writing, Michael Bernard shows how the emotional misery that arises from irrational thinking of the human psyche can obstruct our innate potential for self-actualization and happiness. In doing so, he firmly establishes Ellis as a pioneer of positive psychology and a human being whose superior intellect and years of public education and psychotherapy experience offer genuine insights into the eternal question of what makes for a happy life. "Al Ellis was a great psychologist and as Professor Bernard's book demonstrates eloquently, he was an unsung hero of Positive Psychology." -Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness "This book is the 'missing link' between one of the most prominent movements in the mental health field - rational-emotive and cognitive-behavioral therapy (REBT/CBT) - and one of the 'hottest' topics in the clinical field, namely positive psychology. By integrating the two, the book bridges a gap. Exploring the role of rationality in happiness, as conceptualized by Albert Ellis, the book shows (a) how REBT/CBT can be applied not only for preventing and treating disorders or for health promotion, but also for human development / optimization; and (b) how positive psychology should be conceptualized in a scientific manner, avoiding Pollyannaish thinking. Indeed, Albert Ellis convincingly argued that rationality is the 'royal path' to authentic happiness, and this book is a powerful guide for those interested in exploring and pursuing this path, be they patients, general public or professionals (clinicians and researchers alike)." -Dr Daniel David, 'Aaron T. Beck' Professor of Clinical Cognitive Sciences, Babes-Bolyai University, Romania "This book is a labour of love! Michael Bernard has painstakingly transcribed a number of Albert Ellis's therapy and demonstration sessions as well as a selection of his lectures and has used this material to excellent effect to make Dr Ellis's views on psychological health and happiness come alive. A gem of a book on a gem of a man by a gem of an author." -Professor Windy Dryden, Goldsmiths, University of London, UK 'Albert Ellis challenged us to work vigorously to abandon the irrational and emotionally explosive demands that we tend to impose on ourselves and others, escalating manageable frustrations into seemingly Albert Ellis and the pursuit of happiness -- Why we get unhappy -- Refusing to become desperately unhappy -- The philosophy of happiness : principles of rational living -- Love -- Relationships -- Sex -- Women -- Homosexuality -- Work -- Children and parents -- Death and dying -- Rational and happier living in an irrational world -- Albert Ellis interviewed by Michael E. Bernard. Albert Ellis was writing about personal happiness long before the formal discipline of positive psychology was founded. This book describes his work in helping people to eliminate misery and obtain happiness.