Permission to parent : how to raise your child with love and limits

After being bombarded by parenting fad after parenting fad, moms and dads finally have a friendly, commonsense guide to raising thriving children. Today, many parents have rejected the dictatorships they resented from their own childhoods. But they overcorrected by turning into child-pleasers. Showering praise and letting kids rule the roost has actually eroded the very self-esteem parents are trying to create. Using her clinical experience, psychiatrist Robin Berman shows parents how they can take charge while building a loving family with deep connections. How children learn love and respect at home becomes the template for how they show love and respect in life. It’s a huge task, but Dr. Berman is your ally every step of the way. Every parent’s struggles are reflected (many of them comically), but so are heartwarming triumphs. Parents, teachers and children themselves recount turning points at which they figured out what great parenting looked like and the magic it unlocked. This engaging book—a perfect mix of medical research and inspirational anecdotes—just might be the key to being the parent you want to be and the parent your children need. Over the past few decades, the power structure intrinsic to the family unit has flip-flopped. Children have become the center of the universe, ruling the roost with some serious ramifications for their wellbeing. By trying to constantly please their children and make them happy, parents are actually making their children anxious. In attempting to veer from the strictness of their own upbringing, many parents have gone too far the other way, showering praise onto their children in the hope of increasing self-esteem, forgetting that self-control is a key to instilling self-confidence. Dr. Robin Bermans extensive clinical experience has helped parents and children navigate the emotional and psychological minefields of family dynamics. In this essential parenting guide, she strikes the perfect balance of advice, anecdote, and research, explaining why parents need to be in charge and providing the tools they can use to give their children what they really need: limits, time, and more love. Ten Tips from Permission to Parent Parenting is not a democracy. Rules make kids feel safe. Dont be emotionally bullied by your child. Emotionally wimpy parenting leads to emotionally fragile kids. A child who has too much power often becomes anxious. Catering to your childs every whim can lead to a child who is self-centered and lacks empathy. Look long-term at a child who hasnt faced consequences for behavior and, therefore, never learned accountability: Would you want to date this person as an adult? If you say, If you do that one more time, mean it. Consistent follow-through is essential for a childs emotional safety and your sanity. Keep your eye on the long-term goal of raising a lovely child. Remember your mantra: Hate me now, thank me later. Talk less, give fewer choices, keep it simple. Less is clearly more. No is a complete sentence. No does not begin a negotiation. Reverse negotiate. The more they argue, the less they get. It works like a charm. Parental anxiety is at an all-time high, and with parenting styles swinging from attachment parenting to that of "Tiger Moms," Robin Berman, MD, inspires mothers and fathers to find a graceful place in the middle. Children used to be seen and not heard, but now they are at the center of their parents' universe. Parents today seem skittish about asserting their authority. They indulge in their children's demands and tantrums, and enter into endless negotiations, all for fear of hurting their children's feelings. Sadly, this indulgence is creating a generation of psychologically fragile individuals, and it undermines the very self-esteem it seeks to build. In between these parenting extremes lies a better way to raise thriving, well-adjusted children. Parents need to know that it is not only OK but essential to be in charge. Children with too much power often become anxious, and not allowing children to work through negative emotions leads to a lack of resilience later in their lives. Permission to Parent teaches parents to be comfortable setting boundaries while maintaining a loving connection, fostering self-esteem, respect, and emotional maturity. Children need limits more than they need indulgences, time more than schedules, and love more than stuff. Robin Berman, MD, provides the tools for great parenting by drawing from her extensive clinical experience and wisdom collected from seasoned therapists, revered teachers, and role-model parents. Permission to Parent strikes the perfect balance of advice, anecdote, and research to be an essential parenting guide Based on her extensive clinical experience, the author presents a valuable guide that helps parents and children navigate the emotional and psychological minefields of family dynamics Based On Her Clinical Experience, A Psychiatrist Presents A Valuable Guide That Helps Parents And Children Navigate The Emotional And Psychological Minefields Of Family Dynamics.