Perfect madness : motherhood in the age of anxiety

What is wrong with this picture? That's the question Judith Warner asks after taking a good, hard look at the world of modern motherhood--at anxious women at work and at home and in bed with unhappy husbands. When Warner had her first child, she was living in Paris, where parents routinely left their children home with state-subsidized nannies. When she returned to the States, she was stunned by the cultural differences she found toward motherhood. None of the mothers she met seemed happy: Instead, they worried about the possibility of not having the perfect child, panicking as each developmental benchmark approached. Combining close readings of mainstream magazines, TV shows, and pop culture with a thorough command of dominant ideas in recent psychological, social, and economic theory, this book addresses our cultural assumptions, and examines the forces that have shaped them. Read more... Abstract: What is wrong with this picture? That's the question Judith Warner asks after taking a good, hard look at the world of modern motherhood--at anxious women at work and at home and in bed with unhappy husbands. When Warner had her first child, she was living in Paris, where parents routinely left their children home with state-subsidized nannies. When she returned to the States, she was stunned by the cultural differences she found toward motherhood. None of the mothers she met seemed happy: Instead, they worried about the possibility of not having the perfect child, panicking as each developmental benchmark approached. Combining close readings of mainstream magazines, TV shows, and pop culture with a thorough command of dominant ideas in recent psychological, social, and economic theory, this book addresses our cultural assumptions, and examines the forces that have shaped them A lively and provocative look at the modern culture of motherhood and at the social, economic, and political forces that shaped current ideas about parenting What is wrong with this picture? That's the question Judith Warner asks in this national bestseller after taking a good, hard look at the world of modern parenting—at anxious women at work and at home and in bed with unhappy husbands. When Warner had her first child, she was living in Paris, where parents routinely left their children home, with state-subsidized nannies, to join friends in the evening for dinner or to go on dates with their husbands. When she returned to the States, she was stunned by the cultural differences she found toward how people think about effective parenting—in particular, assumptions about motherhood. None of the mothers she met seemed happy; instead, they worried about the possibility of not having the perfect child, panicking as each developmental benchmark approached. Combining close readings of mainstream magazines, TV shows, and pop culture with a thorough command of dominant ideas in recent psychological, social, and economic theory, Perfect Madness addresses our cultural assumptions, and examines the forces that have shaped them. Working in the tradition of classics like Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique and Christopher Lasch's The Culture of Narcissism , and with an awareness of a readership that turned recent hits like The Bitch in the House and Allison Pearson's I Don't Know How She Does It into bestsellers, Warner offers a context in which to understand parenting culture and the way we live, as well as ways of imagining alternatives—actual concrete changes—that might better our lives. The paradigm-shattering bestseller that investigates how women have fallen into the trap of "total motherhood," and how that mind-set damages them and their relationships with their husbands and children. Manic cookie-baking at midnight. Play dates as complicated as peace summits. Mother-of-the-birthday-boy meltdown. Ambien nights and Ritalin days. No sex. No nights out. No sleep. Ever. It's madness. Now, in one of the most controversial books of the year, Judith Warner blows the lid off American mothers dirty little secret by interviewing those American mothers across the country to try to better understand what's wrong with the culture of American parenting. Content: The mommy mystique -- "This mess" -- The new problem that has no name -- The motherhood religion -- The sacrificial mother -- Selfish mothers, forsaken children -- Millennial motherhood -- The motherhood religion -- Ourselves, as mothers -- A generation of control freaks -- Running scared -- Winner-take-all parenting -- Wonderful husbands -- For a politics of quality of life.