People I Want to Punch in the Throat : Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges

**A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat**__People I want to punch in the throat:____• anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer____• humblebraggers____• people who treat their pets like children__ Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.**Advance praise for __People I Want to Punch in the Throat__** “__People I Want to Punch in the Throat__ is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s __that__ good. It should come with a warning.”**—Jenny Lawson, author of __Let’s Pretend This Never Happened__** “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”**—Karen Alpert, author of __I Heart My Little A-Holes__** “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”**—Robin O’Bryant, author of __Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves__** “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f\*\*\*ing throat.”**—Nicole Knepper, author of __Moms Who Drink And Swear__** A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer humblebraggers people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker's swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat " People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it'll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I'm not sure about the correlation, but it's that good. It should come with a warning." --Jenny Lawson, author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened "Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny." --Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes "Jen Mann says the things we're all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey." --Robin O'Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jen Mann's shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It's so refreshing to know that I'm not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat." --Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear From the Trade Paperback edition NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “ People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.” —Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.” —Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.” —Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.” —Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear People I want to punch in the face: a short list -- You've got mail! -- Take your mother's sandwich and shove it -- The hubs or the cleaning lady, don't make me choose -- God bless America (and thongs) -- Just some of the many reasons the neighbors always hate us -- Screw your playgroup, I didn't want to join anyway -- Gomer might be a racist -- Jeez, lady, I just wanted a cup of coffee, not your kidney -- Hello mother, hello father, signing up for camp sucks -- Ooh, sorry to hear you got Agnes in your class, but I hear her mother is lovely -- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sweet-ass ride -- Am i supposed to believe a five-year-old made that? -- Carpool lines and bunny pajamas go together like ... nothing. They don't go together at all. -- The husband inquisition -- Who needs Dr. Phil when we have Adolpha? -- Do you ever invite me over when you're not trying to sell me something? -- Sleepover is not a party theme! and other stupid things suburban moms complain about -- It's free bowling, lady, not the Junior Olympics -- I thought mother's little helper was a babysitter. I was wrong, it's drugs. -- Motherhood: the toughest competition you'll ever judge -- Watch it, that room mom'll cut you -- Would you take less that a qurarter for this Swarovski vase? -- Moms' night out at the gun range.;Mann brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers' night out at the gun range, nothing is sacred or off-limits.