Outdated : Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life

Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Statistically speaking, young women today are living romantic lives of all kinds—but they’re still feeling bogged down by social, cultural, economic, and familial pressures to love in a certain way. Young women in the modern world have greater flexibility than ever when it comes to who we choose to love and how we choose to love them; but while social circumstances may have changed since our parents’ generation, certain life expectations remain. In Outdated , Samhita Mukhopadhyay addresses the difficulty of negotiating loving relationships within the borderlands of race, culture, class, and sexuality-and of holding true to our convictions and maintaining our independence while we do it. Outdated analyzes how different forms of media, cultural norms, family pressure, and even laws, are produced to scare women into believing that if they don’t devote themselves to finding a man, they’ll be doomed to a life of loneliness and shame. Using interviews with young women that are living around, between, within, and outside of the romantic industrial complex, Mukhopadhyay weaves a narrative of the alternative ways that women today have elected to live their lives, and in doing so offers a fresh, feminist look at an old topic: How do diverse, independent young women date happily and successfully—and outside of the box? An invaluable guidebook, which contends that the most vexing problems facing women today isn't that doors of opportunity aren't open but that not enough women are walking through them Feminist icon Gloria Feldt pulls no punches in this new book, which argues that the most confounding problem facing women today isn't that doors of opportunity aren't open, but that not enough women are walking through them. From the boardroom to the bedroom, public office to personal relationships, she asserts that nobody is keeping women from parity-except themselves.Feldt puts women's power into an historical context, showing the ways in which women have made huge leaps forward in the past, only to pull back right when they were at the threshold. Feldt argues that there's no excuse-whether it's the way women are socialized, or pressure to conform, or work/life balance issues-for women today not to own their power. Women are still facing unequal pay, being passed over for promotions, entering public office at a much lesser rate than men, and oftentimes still struggling with traditional power dynamics in their interpersonal relationships. Feldt's solution to all these places where women face inequality is the same: we need to shift the way we think to achieve true parity with our male counterparts.No Excuses is divided into nine chapters that organized around how women can change the way they think, and therefore the way they act. These include: Know Your History and You Can Create the Future of Your Choice; Define the Terms-First; Embrace Controversy; Employ Every Medium; and other helpful ideas for using the tools and resources women already have to create the changes they want to see. No Excuses is a timely and invaluable book to help women equalize gender power in politics, work, and love. INAPPROPRIATE RANDOM is a collection of stories by new and established writers from the UK and North America about love in many forms; it is the American book edition version of STRICTLY CASUAL. In one story, an escapee schoolgirl seems to have given up on real love with her non-communicative boyfriend and family, preferring instead to daydream in the intense summer heat. A teenaged hearse driver in another prefers to love non-living bodies. A love-lorn twenty-something in one fragmented piece decides to reduce the social rituals of finding love to the calculated formalities of job hunting. One features a jealous heroine who drives away the result of her boyfriend's mid-life crisis: right down the freeway. Cats play such a strange part in a relationship in one piece of flash fiction that a girl's boyfriend is driven to shoot and then bury them in the backyard. A thirty-something is caught in between two men in one story: a real lover and a gay male housemate who provides domestic harmony. The star of another likes to show more affection towards her canine charges than to any human. Features 16 short fiction stories by A.M. Homes, Barbara Gowdy, Lynne Tillman, Elizabeth Graver and many others. INTRODUCTION (EXTRACT): "A collection of stories by established and emerging writers from Britain and the U.S., INAPPROPRIATE RANDOM represents far more diverse, and often much more mysterious, versions of love than any other 'post-Bridget Jones' fiction." Amy Prior PRESS REVIEWS (EXTRACTS) OF THE UK BOOK EDITION: 'Seek this out - short story collections of this calibre deserve to be cherished.' i-D 'Very clever and very funny.' Time Out 'Strictly Casual shows originality by offering an unusual representation of diverse cultures.' The Times Diane Farr—Numb3rs star, Loveline veteran, and FunnyorDie.com contributor—always took for granted that she could love anybody she chose. But when she, a white woman, fell in love with a Korean-American man, she quickly learned a tough lesson: When it comes to navigating the landscape of interracial love in America today... you're going to step on some landmines. At turns introspective and outrageous, Kissing Outside the Lines is Farr's unapologetic—often hilarious—look at the complexities of interracial/ethnic/religious/what-have-you love, told through the lens of her own experience of dating, marrying, and creating a family with someone from a race and culture different from her own. Along the way, she exposes the many ways in which prejudice rears its ugly head—whether subtly or overtly—when you dare to love “outside the lines,” and she shares the stories of other multiracial couples from different corners of the U.S. who have made a similar leap.Kissing Outside the Lines tackles love, family, and prejudice head-on. With sharp wit and deft humor, Farr confronts the fears and reservations that come with loving outside of one's race, and she emerges with a powerful message: Love is love and family is family—no matter what it looks like from the outside.Kissing Outside the Lines also includes an 8-page black and white photo signature. In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedmanco-editor of Yes Means Yes gives young women the tools to decipher the modern worlds confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (were failures if we dont act sexy, but were sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve whatever we get if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality. Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedmans informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friendsand learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone elses sexuality along the way. "In this new edition of a book that's been a go-to guide for young Latinas for years, award-winning journalist Sandra Guzman tackles the real-world complications facing Latinas today. With warmth, humor, and wisdom, The New Latina's Bible explores a wide range of issues, touching on everything from family to dating to the workplace. Guzman offers helpful tips on improving self-esteem, and provides simple, easy-to-follow women's health advice. New chapters take on important topics like sexual abuse, domestic violence, interracial relationships, and LGBTQ issues. In The New Latina's Bible, Guzman shows other Latinas that they are not alone in the day-to-day dilemmas that they encounter, and that understanding these challenges can strengthen and empower them as women. A must-read for any Latina who faces the trials of living, loving, and dreaming in two worlds--the old world of their mam, ̀ ta̕s, and abuelitas, and the new world in which they are immersed--this comprehensive book helps to bridge the gap between the dual realities that shape and define the nueva Latina."--Provided by publisher "In this new edition of a book that's been a go-to guide for young Latinas for years, award-winning journalist Sandra Guzman tackles the real-world complications facing Latinas today. With warmth, humor, and wisdom, The New Latina's Bible explores a widerange of issues, touching on everything from family to dating to the workplace. Guzman offers helpful tips on improving self-esteem, and provides simple, easy-to-follow women's health advice. New chapters take on important topics like sexual abuse, domestic violence, interracial relationships, and LGBTQ issues. In The New Latina's Bible, Guzman shows other Latinas that they are not alone in the day-to-day dilemmas that they encounter, and that understanding these challenges can strengthen and empower them as women. A must-read for any Latina who faces the trials of living, loving, and dreaming in two worlds--the old world of their mam, tas, and abuelitas, and the new world in which they are immersed--this comprehensive book helps to bridge the gap between the dual realities that shape and define the nueva Latina. "-- Provided by publisher Feminist icon Gloria Feldt pulls no punches in her new book, which encourages women to step into positions of power and leadershipnow. In No Excuses, she argues that the most confounding problem facing women today isnt that doors arent open, but that not enough women are walking through them. From the boardroom to the bedroom, public office to personal relationships, she asserts that nobody is keeping women from parityexcept themselves. Through interviews, historical perspective, and anecdotes, No Excuses examines why barriers to equality still exist in American society. Feldt employs a no-nonsense, tough-love point of view to expose the internal and external roadblocks holding women back, but she doesnt place blame; rather, she provides inspiration, hope, and courageas well as concrete power toolsthe 9 ways, with one highlighted in each chapterto aid women in securing equality and justice for themselves. No Excuses is a timely and invaluable book that intends to help women equalize gender power in politics, work, and love.

love Choices But Hate Choosing? Welcome To The Club.

the Choice Effect Is For Young Women Who Have All The Opportunities In The World And No Idea How To Decide Among Them. It’s One Thing To Have Lots Of Options When It Comes To Fulfilling Careers Or Traveling The World—but What Does It Mean For Our Love Lives? How Can You Know Whether You’re With The Right Person—or If The Time Is Right—when You Haven’t Vetted The Other Possibilities?

with Hard-won Insight, Plus Interviews With A Whole Host Of Other Women Who Are Living It, The Twentysomething Friends And Authors Of the Choice Effect Explain Why Their Generation Is Sidestepping Traditional Timelines. They Look At The Question Of Choice In The Twenty-first Century As They Give Voice To Their Generation’s Dilemma: How Do You Choose When You’ve Been Taught You Can Have It All?

Introduction: The joys of being a modern Latina 1. Surviving your Mother, la Familia, and el Que Dirán without going loca! 2. Que bella soy: see the pretty girl in that mirror there? 3. The healthy Latina: ¡Cuidate muchacha! 4. Latina blues: It's not in your head 5. Talk circles: The power of Latina friendship 6. Centering your soul: Spirituality Latin style 7. Secrets of Latina dating: The Latin girls' rules revealed 8. Latina sexual mystique: The hot tamale, the Latin lover, and other lethal myths 9. Love and relationships: la novia, la esposa, and the case of the quasi-wife 10. Marrying outside la raza: Ten things to know before you marry a white guy 11. When love hurts: The dirty secret of dating and domestic violence among Latinas 12. Finding professional success: The get-ahead guide for the nueva Latina 13. Going home...to your roots 14. Los futuros: Taking care of our hermanitas and hermanitos. Co-editor of Yes Means Yes gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman-co-editor of Yes Means Yes-gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve'whatever we get'if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality. Love choices but hate choosing? Welcome to the club. The Choice Effect is for young women who have all the opportunities in the world and no idea how to decide among them. It's one thing to have lots of options when it comes to fulfilling careers or traveling the world—but what does it mean for our love lives? How can you know whether you're with the right person—or if the time is right—when you haven't vetted the other possibilities? With hard-won insight, plus interviews with a whole host of other women who are living it, the twentysomething friends and authors of The Choice Effect explain why their generation is sidestepping traditional timelines. They look at the question of choice in the twenty-first century as they give voice to their generation's dilemma: How do you choose when you've been taught you can have it all? "This collection of short fiction by established and emerging American and British women writers takes a hard look at love today - exposing its flaws with unflinching, often hilarious, candor. In one story, the narrator is "aghast" to find an unknown man in her bed upon waking and unsure how to find out who he is. Another woman sends her resume for a girlfriend position - and with-stands multiple rounds of interviews. There's the strictly casual arrangement, the necrophile, the hot pursuit of a one-night stand across the Atlantic, and the chatroom romance. Well beyond the rosy chicklit stereotypes, these stories show how pleasure ad chaos make strange bed fellows."--Jacket For nearly a decade, The Latina's Bible has been the go-to guide for Latinas everywhere. In this updated and expanded edition, author Sandra Guzman continues to use her trademark warmth, humor, and wisdom to explore a wide range of topics, from dating and sexuality to family and career. The New Latina's Bible charts new territory, adding chapters that cover important issues such as sexual abuse, domestic and dating violence, interracial love, and gender identity. Guzman once again provides a hip, empowering, highly readable guide for women who are facing the trials and joys of living and loving as twenty-first century Latinas. Introduction: "We always hoped our daughter would not marry outside of our race" Euro girl falls for Korean dude in California White freshman loves black senior in Pennsylvania Crash course in Korean culture Evangelical white chick loves Hindu Indian man in Maryland Meeting the parents Mexican American loves Palestinian Englishman in Illinois Getting around mine A ringer on my finger Nubian fashionista loves white brother in New York They will not be judged for me Israeli Jewess loves Trinidadian heathen in Washington State A Korean night + an American night = a quelled fight Let's take this show on the road! Epilogue. This volume describes a phenomenon that affects young American women that the author has termed the "Choice Effect". The Choice Effect maintains that when it comes to love and settling down, our generation is in trouble because, "we love choices, but hate choosing." The authors feel that choice can actually be de-motivating and lead to poor decisions (or no decision at all), dissatisfied customers and buyer's remorse. They look at the question of choice in the twenty-first century, attempting to give voice to their generation's dilemma: Why choose when you've been taught you can have it all? Understand: You've Come A Long Way, Maybe -- Redefine: Not Power-over, Power-to -- Unblock: Power Unused Is Power Useless -- Be Unafraid: Opt Out Of Being Co-opted -- Unfetter: Secure 500 And A Womb Of Your Own -- Unlimit Yourself: Stand In Power, Walk With Intention -- Unleash: Sister Courage -- Just Do It: Your Power Tools -- Epilogue: No Excuses: Don't Follow Your Dream-lead It! Gloria Feldt. Includes Bibliographical References And Index. Understand: you've come a long way, maybe: a brief history of self-limitation Redefine: not power-over, power-to Unblock: power unused is power useless Be unafraid: opt out of being co-opted Unfetter: secure 500 and a womb of your own Unlimit yourself: stand in power, walk with intention Unleash: sister courage Just do it: your power tools Epilogue: no excuses: don't follow your dream-lead it! Introduction: A theory is born Choister? Why do you keep making that funny sound? Mommy, where do choisters come from? The world is yours, choister The choisters cometh Dating and mating Little white choister chapel We r ovr: when bad things happen to good choisters The light at the end of the tunnel might be an oncoming train Conclusion: Like graduation. But different. Introduction: A theory is born Choister? Why do you keep making that funny sound? Mommy, where do choisters come from? The world is yours, choister The choisters cometh Dating and mating Little white choister chapel We r ovr: when bad things happen to good choisters The light at the end of the tunnel might be an oncoming train Conclusion: Where is the off switch? You can't get what you want till you know what you want Bad things come in threes: shame, blame, and fear I'm okay, you're okay A woman's intuition What's love got to do with it? Freaks and geeks Let's talk about sex, baby It's complicated Do unto others Friends and family To infinity and beyond. Former president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Gloria Feldt draws on interviews, history, and anecdotes to offer information about barriers to equality for women and describe nine ways women can find equality in politics, work, and love Relates The Author's Experiences With Her Interracial Marriage, Describing The Social And Cultural Issues She Faced While Dating And Subsequently Marrying Her South Korean Husband. With sharp wit and deft humour, actress and columnist Diane Farr takes on the hotbed of issues surrounding interracial relationships, and offers a powerful message of love In this sequel to her ground-breaking anthology Yes Means Yes, Friedman provides young women with the tools to create and define a new sexuality that's all their own Provides insight into the quarterlife angst around dating and relationships and examines why more options equals less commitment for today's twentysomethings