Out of the Crazywoods (American Indian Lives)

Out of the Crazywoods is the riveting and insightful story of Abenaki poet Cheryl Savageau's late-life diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Without sensationalizing, she takes the reader inside the experience of a rapid-cycling variant of the disorder, providing a lens through which to understand it and a road map for navigating the illness. The structure of her story - impressionistic, fragmented - is an embodiment of the bipolar experience and a way of perceiving the world. Out of the Crazywoods takes the reader into the euphoria of mania as well as its ugly, agitated rage and into "the lying down of desire" that is depression. Savageau articulates the joy of being consort to a god and the terror of being chased by witchcraft, the sound of voices that are always chattering in your head, the smell of wet ashes that invades your home, the perception that people are moving in slow motion and death lurks at every turnpike, and the feeling of being loved by the universe and despised by everyone you've ever known. Central to the journey out of the Crazywoods is the sensitive child who becomes a poet and writer who finds clarity in her art and a reason to heal in her grandchildren. Her journey reveals the stigma and the social, personal, and economic consequences of the illness but reminds us that the disease is not the person. Grounded in Abenaki culture, Savageau questions cultural definitions of madness and charts a path to recovery through a combination of medications, psychotherapy, and ceremony. -- From dust jacket Cover Title Page Copyright Page Contents About This Book Bagw and Tekw Under the Crib The Pivot Point Learning to Speak What It Is Age Three—The Witch in the Bag Angels Diagnosis Dirt She’s Not Heavy, She’s My Sister The Tarot Tiger Butter LOOK Age Seven—The Body Book Poppies At the Welfare Office Exuberance Shopping Crazy Lady in Grad School In Fourth Grade What’s Happening? Jungle Road Blackouts Voices The Bad Mother Exceptional Children The Twirling Skirt Crazy Talk I The Death Turnpike Life in the Fast Lane: Am I Paranoid, or Are They Really Out to Get Me? Meds Arthur Lloyd shades The Bra Thing I Am in Love with Rita Moreno Crazy Talk II Beautiful Doll The Ugly Year Krishna, My Love Poetry for Breakfast Cribbage Teaching Castaneda Losing Them Meditation—The Barren Road The Taster Horse Dream I Wretched Baby Sunday Afternoon with Betty Grable Islands of Sanity: Poetry My Bookstore The New House at Center Harbor When You Can’t Keep a Job Denied Islands of Sanity: Grandsons Crazy Talk III Getting Fat on Antidepressants To Whom It May Concern: Memere Stories: Sing á Memere Sunday Dinners Pookie Peach Cobbler Falling in Love with Diane Talk Doc: Julie Grand Poobah Land of Enchantment I Stories and Storms New York in Albuquerque Leaving The Witch at the Wake Land of Enchantment II China Doll My Special One After Dropping Acid on a School Night Yeats You Bet Your Life Crazy Talk: Lonely Eating Worms I My Mother’s Side Ceremony Falling into Grace A Paycheck Away Seven Mice Christmas with Tarot Cards Geraniums Citizens for Citizens Wet Ashes The Eighth Mouse Good morning: Memere Stories: Paint Not Connect: Abilify Mania Piano Memere Stories: Talking Talk Doc: Karen Listenings Giving Myself to Beauty The Green Quilt Memere Stories: Howling Eating Worms II Greeley Park, Nashua—The Tree Maura’s Bag Talk Doc: The Real Work Relearning the Habits of Childhood Crying for Real Horse Dream II Math Games Meditation—Fern Ambien: The Butterfly, Lock, and Key SAD Nearly Normal Memere Stories: Baseball Stigma What It Is For Happy Alnôbawôgan Acknowledgments Source Acknowledgments "Out of the Crazywoods is the insightful and riveting story of Abenaki poet Cheryl Savageau's late-life diagnosis of manic depression (also known as bipolar disorder) and her personal journey towards the acceptance and management of this life-long illness to achieve emotional stability"-- Provided by publisher