Next Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts: Tykes and Teens (Parenting the Child Who Hurts)

This sensitive, practical handbook is designed to support adopted children and teenagers and their families. An adopted child may well have suffered abuse or neglect; he or she will have experienced separation, loss, and inconsistent parenting. This early trauma and upheaval is often expressed in emotional and behavioural problems, which are especially difficult for the child and his or her parents to cope with during the teenage years. Drawing on both firsthand experience and research, the author presents strategies to improve adopted children's patterns of behaviour, in what to them is a hostile world. The situations covered include sleep problems; anger, agression and violence; lying and stealing; staying out late and running away; addictive behaviours and self harm; impulsiveness and risk taking; money issues; sex; suicide and compulsive eating disorders. Written by an experienced adoptive parent, this clear, sensitive and practical handbook is designed to encourage and support adoptive and long-term foster parents, their children and adolescents. An adopted child may well have suffered abuse, neglect or inconsistent parenting in the past; he or she will certainly have experienced painful separations and losses. These early traumatic experiences, often expressed in emotional and behavioural problems within the family, can conceal a broad range of subtle alterations to the brain and nervous system of the developing child. They may become increasingly problematic as the youngster approaches the developmental challenges of adolescence.Drawing on both firsthand experience and some of the latest medical research, Caroline Archer presents strategies to help parents deal with their youngsters'troubling behaviour and to make them feel more comfortable, in what seems to them a hostile world.Archer sets out to provide adoptive and foster parents with an understanding of the complex range of difficulties with which their children may struggle as a result of their early experience of adversity. By exploring, in very simple ways, the effects of adverse experiences on the child's built-in biological response systems, she assists parents to make sense of the frequently perplexing behaviours of the hurt child within their family. Common situations which she specifically addresses include: sleep problems; anger, aggression and violence; lying and stealing; staying out late and running away; addictive behaviours and self harm; impulsiveness and risk-taking; sex; suicide and compulsive eating disorders.Following on from First Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts: Tiddlers and Toddlers (2nd edition), Next Steps will be an invaluable resource for adoptive and foster parents seeking to support their child through the later stages of childhood and adolescence. This book will also be an essential practical guide for professionals working with families and eager to gain a thorough understanding of the on-going developmental and relationship difficulties of adopted children. Written by an experienced adoptive parent, this clear, sensitive and practical handbook is designed to encourage and support adoptive and long-term foster parents, their children and adolescents. An adopted child may well have suffered abuse, neglect or inconsistent parenting in the past; he or she will certainly have experienced painful separations and losses. These early traumatic experiences, often expressed in emotional and behavioural problems within the family, can conceal a broad range of subtle alterations to the brain and nervous system of the developing child. They may become increasingly problematic as the youngster approaches the developmental challenges of adolescence. Drawing on both firsthand experience and some of the latest medical research, Caroline Archer presents strategies to help parents deal with their youngsters' troubling behaviour and to make them feel more comfortable, in what seems to them a hostile world. Archer sets out to provide adoptive and foster parents with an understanding of the complex range of difficulties with which their children may struggle as a result of their early experience of adversity. By exploring, in very simple ways, the effects of adverse experiences on the child's built-in biological response systems, she assists parents to make sense of the frequently perplexing behaviours of the hurt child within their family. Common situations which she specifically addresses sleep problems; anger, aggression and violence; lying and stealing; staying out late and running away; addictive behaviours and self harm; impulsiveness and risk-taking; sex; suicide and compulsive eating disorders. Following on from First Steps in Parenting the Child Who Tiddlers and Toddlers (2nd edition), Next Steps will be an invaluable resource for adoptive and foster parents seeking to support their child through the later stages of childhood and adolescence. This book will also be an essential practical guide for professionals working with families and eager to gain a thorough understanding of the on-going developmental and relationship difficulties of adopted children. Noting that adopted and foster children may have suffered early traumatic experiences, often expressed in emotional and behavioral problems that become increasingly problematic as the child approaches adolescence, this book presents strategies to help adoptive and foster parents deal with their youngsters' troubling behavior and to make them feel more comfortable. Part 1, "Coming Home," discusses balancing the similarities and differences between adoptive and biological parenting. Part 2, "More Beginnings: Continuing Child Development," identifies challenges to development often experienced by adopted children. Part 3, "When Things Don't Seem Quite Right," describes normal patterns of arousal and how parents can use their own normal patterns to help children with uncomfortable or erratic arousal levels. Part 4, "Through the Looking Glass," examines distortions in perception, cognition, and responses that make it difficult to communicate clearly with children who hurt. Part 5, "Fundamental Principles," presents a collection of philosophies and suggestions for child rearing. Part 6, "Principles into Practice," uses an example of parents dealing with their child's aggression to illustrate how each of the preceding fundamental principles may be put into practice. Part 7, "Sensitive Situations," provides information and suggestions related to additional parenting concerns such as bedwetting, sleep problems, anger and violence, lying and stealing, running away, and addictive behaviors such as eating problems, drug and alcohol use, and self-injury. A glossary defines specialized terms. (Contains a 46-item reading list.) (KB) Next Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts: Tykes and Teens......Page 4 Contents......Page 6 Acknowledgements......Page 8 What is Adoption UK?......Page 9 Foreword......Page 10 Introduction......Page 12 One: Coming Home......Page 16 Two: More Beginnings: Continuing Child Development......Page 26 Three: When Things Don’t Seem Quite Right......Page 32 Four: Through the Looking Glass......Page 38 Five: Fundamental Principles......Page 56 Six: Principles into Practice......Page 92 Seven: Sensitive Situations......Page 112 Bedwetting and Daytime Incontinence......Page 116 Sleep Problems......Page 123 Anger, Aggression and Violence......Page 128 Lying and Stealing......Page 141 Staying Out Late and Running Away......Page 153 Addictive Behaviours and Self-Harm......Page 166 Early Eating Problems......Page 172 Early Impulsivity and Risk Taking......Page 174 Money Issues......Page 177 Drug and Alcohol Use......Page 178 Sexual Acting-Out......Page 180 Continuing Impulsivity and Addictive Risk Taking......Page 182 Self-Injury......Page 184 Suicide and Suicidality......Page 185 Compulsive Eating Disorders......Page 188 Staying a Family and Being Apart......Page 189 And Finally – Letting Go .........Page 202 Glossary......Page 206 Reading List......Page 218 Hope Against Hope......Page 220 Index......Page 221 Caroline Archer sets out to provide adoptive and foster parents with an understanding of the complex range of difficulties with which their children may struggle as a result of their early experience of adversity. She presents strategies to help parents deal with their youngsters' troubling behaviour, in what seems to them a hostile world. Parenthood does not begin at the moment you bring your child home but at the point of conception of the idea of extending your family.