Negotiating the nonnegotiable : how to resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts

""A masterpiece--clear, insightful, and practical. Highly recommended!"--William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Find out how to successfully resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts. In this landmark book, world-renowned Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro presents a groundbreaking, practical method to reconcile your most contentious relationships and untangle your toughest conflicts. Before you get into your next conflict, read Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. It is not just "another book on conflict resolution," but a crucial step-by-step guide to resolve life's most emotionally challenging conflicts--whether between spouses, a parent and child, a boss and an employee, or rival communities or nations. These conflicts can feel nonnegotiable because they threaten your identity and trigger what Shapiro calls the Tribes Effect, a divisive mind-set that pits you against the other side. Once you fall prey to this mind-set, even a trivial argument with a family member or colleague can mushroom into an emotional uproar. Shapiro offers a powerful way out, drawing on his pioneering research and global fieldwork in consulting for everyone from heads of state to business leaders, embattled marital couples to families in crisis. And he also shares his insights from negotiating with three of the world's toughest negotiators--his three young sons. This is a must read to improve your professional and personal relationships"-- Read more... Abstract: ""A masterpiece--clear, insightful, and practical. Highly recommended!"--William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Find out how to successfully resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts. In this landmark book, world-renowned Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro presents a groundbreaking, practical method to reconcile your most contentious relationships and untangle your toughest conflicts. Before you get into your next conflict, read Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. It is not just "another book on conflict resolution," but a crucial step-by-step guide to resolve life's most emotionally challenging conflicts--whether between spouses, a parent and child, a boss and an employee, or rival communities or nations. These conflicts can feel nonnegotiable because they threaten your identity and trigger what Shapiro calls the Tribes Effect, a divisive mind-set that pits you against the other side. Once you fall prey to this mind-set, even a trivial argument with a family member or colleague can mushroom into an emotional uproar. Shapiro offers a powerful way out, drawing on his pioneering research and global fieldwork in consulting for everyone from heads of state to business leaders, embattled marital couples to families in crisis. And he also shares his insights from negotiating with three of the world's toughest negotiators--his three young sons. This is a must read to improve your professional and personal relationships" A Masterpiece--clear, Insightful, And Practical. Highly Recommended!--william Ury, Coauthor Of Getting To Yes And Author Of Getting To Yes With Yourself Find Out How To Successfully Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts. In This Landmark Book, World-renowned Harvard Negotiation Expert Daniel Shapiro Presents A Groundbreaking, Practical Method To Reconcile Your Most Contentious Relationships And Untangle Your Toughest Conflicts. Before You Get Into Your Next Conflict, Read Negotiating The Nonnegotiable. It Is Not Just Another Book On Conflict Resolution, But A Crucial Step-by-step Guide To Resolve Life's Most Emotionally Challenging Conflicts--whether Between Spouses, A Parent And Child, A Boss And An Employee, Or Rival Communities Or Nations. These Conflicts Can Feel Nonnegotiable Because They Threaten Your Identity And Trigger What Shapiro Calls The Tribes Effect, A Divisive Mind-set That Pits You Against The Other Side. Once You Fall Prey To This Mind-set, Even A Trivial Argument With A Family Member Or Colleague Can Mushroom Into An Emotional Uproar. Shapiro Offers A Powerful Way Out, Drawing On His Pioneering Research And Global Fieldwork In Consulting For Everyone From Heads Of State To Business Leaders, Embattled Marital Couples To Families In Crisis. And He Also Shares His Insights From Negotiating With Three Of The World's Toughest Negotiators--his Three Young Sons. This Is A Must Read To Improve Your Professional And Personal Relationships-- Why This Book? -- The Tribes Effect. The Hidden Power Of Identity ; The Dual Nature Of Identity ; A Way Forward -- The Five Lures Of The Tribal Mind. Vertigo ; Repetition Compulsion ; Taboos ; Assault On The Sacred ; Identity Politics -- Bridging The Divide. Integrative Dynamics : A Four-step Method ; Uncover Your Mythos Of Identity ; Work Through Emotional Pain ; Build Crosscutting Connections ; Reconfigure The Relationship -- Reconciling Irreconcilable Differences. Managing Dialectics ; Fostering The Spirit Of Reconciliation. Daniel Shapiro. Includes Bibliographical References (pages 241-309) And Index. “One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict. A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life. Be warned : This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness: 1. Vertigo : How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict? 2. Repetition compulsion : How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again? 3. Taboos : How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict? 4. Assault on the sacred : What should you do if your values feel threatened? 5. Identity politics : What can you do if others use politics against you? In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us. “A masterpiece.”—William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes In this landmark book, world-renowned Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro introduces a groundbreaking, step-by-step method to resolve your most difficult conflicts. Find out how to successfully resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts. This indispensable guide reveals the five hidden emotional forces that strain your relations and block agreement: vertigo, repetition compulsion, taboos, assault on the sacred, and identity politics. The moment you feel attacked, these forces transform your conflict into an adversarial battle, turning even a straightforward disagreement into an emotional uproar. In Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, you will learn a powerful, proven approach to overcome these forces, reconcile your relations, and reach agreement in even your most challenging personal and professional disputes. ** Grand Prize Winner of the 2017 Nautilus Book Award ** Are you struggling to deal with conflict in your life? In Negotiating the Nonnegotiable , Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro introduces a groundbreaking method to bridge the toughest divideswhether with family members, colleagues, or in the polarized world of politics. He reveals the hidden power of identity in fueling conflict, and presents a practical framework to reconcile even the most contentious situations. Field-tested around the world, the results are empowering.