Motivated Cognition in Relationships : In Pursuit of Safety and Value

How can newlyweds believe they will be together forever, while knowing that the majority of marriages end in divorce? Why do people who desperately want to be loved end up alienating those who love them? How can partners that seem like complete opposites end up blissfully happy? This volume explores such fascinating questions. Murray and Holmes outline how basic motivations to be safe from being hurt and find value and meaning control how people feel, think, and behave in close relationships. Additionally, the authors highlight how these motivations infuse romantic life through succinct and accessible descriptions of cutting-edge empirical research and vivid evolving stories of four couples confronting different challenges in their relationship. Integrating ideas from the interdependence, goals, and embodiment literatures, this book puts a provocative new spin on seminal findings from two decades of collaborative research. The book: * provides a new, interdependence-based, perspective on motivated cognition in close relationships; * advances a dyadic perspective that explores how motivation shapes perception and cognition in ways that result in motivation-consistent behavior; * examines how "goal-driven" cognition translates a person’s wishes, desires, and preferences into judgement and behavior, and ultimately, his or her romantic partner’s relationship reality; * offers a refreshing argument that the ultimate effects of motivated cognition on satisfaction and stability depend on whether the motivations which most frequently guide perception and cognition match the reality constraints imposed by the perceiver, the partner, and the characteristics of the relationship. This book is essential for social and personality psychologists and will also be valuable to clinical psychologists and clinicians who work directly with couples to effect more happy and stable relationships. Advanced undergraduate and graduate students will find it a highly engaging compendium for understanding how motivation shapes affect, cognition, and behavior in close relationships. When John Newton, ex-sea captain and, as yet, unsuccessful candidate for the Church of England ministry, finished his first book (an autobiography) in 1762 there was no ready publisher. Any thought that he was destined to become one of the best known authors of his age would have been as fantastic as the last 37 years of his life. But in both cases the improbable came about. Becoming curate of Olney, a small village in the south of England, in 1764, Newton there laid his reputation as an evangelical writer, pre-eminently by his published letters and by the Olney Hymns (including 'How Great the Name of Jesus Sounds', 'Glorious things of Thee are spoken' and 'Amazing grace'). Before the end of his subsequent pastorate at St. Mary Woolnoth, London (1780-1807), his writings were prized around the world from America to Australia. Newton has a firm place in the classics of Christian literature. While his style is strong and clear, it is the spiritual attractiveness and importance of his main themes which secure the permanent value of his writings. Most of his books came, unpremeditated, out of a need to help his congregation or individual hearers, and it is in practical helpfulness towards Christian living that he excels. If he is loved rather than admired, it is for this reason. Conformity to Christ is the one subject upon which his themes finally focus ('It will not be a burden to me at the hour of death that I have thought too highly of Jesus, expected too much from Him myself, or laboured too much in commending and setting Him forth to others'). Not surprisingly, Alexander Whyte could write, 'For myself, I keep John Newton on my selectest shelf of spiritual books: by far the best kind of books in the whole world of books.' The text of this new four-volume edition of The Works of John Newton has been entirely reformatted, producing a clear and easily navigable set of documents for today's reader.--Publisher 1. Introducing motivated cognition -- 2. Embodying safety and value goals -- 3. Pursuing safety -- 4. Pursuing value -- 5. Why safety overrides value -- 6. When value overrides safety -- 7. Reality constraints -- 8. Looking forward Sandra L. Murray, John G. Holmes. Includes Bibliographical References (pages 151-170) And Indexes.