Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) Third Edition: Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right -- a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception -- how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it. Cover Title Contents Epigraph Preface to the Revised Editions Introduction: Knaves, Fools, Villains, and Hypocrites: How Do They Live with Themselves? 1. Cognitive Dissonance: The Engine of Self-Justification Believing Is Seeing Ingrid’s Choice, Nick’s Mercedes, and Elliot’s Canoe Spirals of Violence—and Virtue The Pyramid of Choice 2. Pride and Prejudice . . . and Other Blind Spots The Road to St. Andrews The Gift That Keeps on Giving A Slip of the Brain 3. Memory, the Self-Justifying Historian The Biases of Memory True Stories of False Memories 4. Good Intentions, Bad Science: The Closed Loop of Clinical Judgment The Problem of the Benevolent Dolphin Science, Skepticism, and Self-justification 5. Law and Disorder The Investigators The Interrogators The Prosecutors Jumping to Convictions 6. Love’s Assassin: Self-Justification in Marriage 7. Wounds, Rifts, and Wars Who Started This? Perpetrators of Evil Truth and Reconciliation 8. Letting Go and Owning Up Mistakes Were Made—by Them Mistakes Were Made—by Me Act 2: The Arduous Journey to Self-Compassion 9. Dissonance, Democracy, and the Demagogue The Pyramid of Choice, Once Again Stepping Off the Pyramid: “The Democrats Are Worse” Sliding Down the Pyramid: “He Has Eaten Your Soul” Landing at the Base: “We Have Seen His Heart” Stopping the Slide: “Look, This Is Bigger Than the Politics of the Day” Acknowledgments Notes INTRODUCTION 1. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: THE ENGINE OF SELF- JUSTIFICATION 2. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE . . . AND OTHER BLIND SPOTS 3. MEMORY, THE SELF-JUSTIFYING HISTORIAN 4. GOOD INTENTIONS, BAD SCIENCE: THE CLOSED LOOP OF CLINICAL JUDGMENT 5. LAW AND DISORDER 6. LOVE’S ASSASSIN: SELF-JUSTIFICATION IN MARRIAGE 7. WOUNDS, RIFTS, AND WARS 8. LETTING GO AND OWNING UP 9. DISSONANCE, DEMOCRACY, AND THE DEMAGOGUE Index About the Authors Footnotes "Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right-a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong"-- Provided by publisher