Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage

Marriage today is held up as a blissful haven of love and friendship, sex and stability. We long for the gold standard, the traditional marriage but marriage turns out to have a checkered past-the "traditional marriage" was evanescent. This real look at what people think of as "traditional" finally explains why so many married people are so unsatisfied. In this groundbreaking book, award-winning historian Stephanie Coontz takes us on an eye- opening journey from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the sexual torments of Victorian lovers to the current debates over the meaning and future of marriage. She provides the definitive story of marriage’s evolution from the arranged unions common since the dawn of civilization into the intimate, sexually fulfilling but volatile relationships of today. For most of our history, marriage was not a relationship based on mutual love between a breadwinning husband and an at-home wife, but an institution devoted to acquiring wealth, power, and property. Picking a mate on the basis of something as irrational as love would have been considered absurd. Only in the nineteenth century did marriage move to the center of people’s emotional lives, when the wife became the "angel of the home" and the husband the "provider." Yet these Victorian ideals contain the seeds of today’s marriage crisis. As people began to expect romance and intimacy in their marriages, their unions became more fragile. The postwar era of the 1950s ushered in a brief "Golden Age" of marriage-the Ozzie and Harriet years-but the same advances in birth control, increased individual autonomy, and women’s equality that made marriage more satisfying than it had been in the past also undermined its stability. Marriage has changed more in the last thirty years than in the previous five thousand, and few of the old "rules" for marriage still apply. In the courts, the op-ed pieces, and at the dinner table, battles rage over what marriage means, why people do it, and who can do it. Marriage, a History is the one book you need to understand not only the vicissitudes of modern marriage but also gay marriage, "living together" and divorce. Stephanie Coontz shatters dozens of myths about the past and future of married life and shows us why marriage, though more fragile today, can be more rewarding than ever before. Introduction pt. 1: In search of traditional marriage. The radical idea of marrying for love The many meanings of marriage The invention of marriage pt. 2: The era of political marriage. Soap operas of the ancient world Something borrowed : the marital legacy of the classical world and early Christianity Playing the bishop, capturing the queen : aristocratic marriages in early medieval Europe How the other 95 percent wed : marriage among the common folk of the Middle Ages Something old, something new : Western European marriage at the dawn of the modern age pt. 3: The love revolution. From yoke mates to soul mates : emergence of the love match and the male provider marriage "Two birds within one nest" : sentimental marriage in nineteenth-century Europe and North America "A heaving volcano" : beneath the surface of Victorian marriage "The time when mountains move has come" : from sentimental to sexual marriage Making do, then making babies : marriage in the Great Depression and World War II The era of Ozzie and Harriet : the long decade of "traditional" marriage pt. 4: Courting disaster? : the collapse of universal and lifelong marriage. Winds of change : marriage in the 1960s and 1970s The perfect storm : the transformation of marriage at the end of the twentieth century Uncharted territory : how the transformation of marriage is changing our lives Conclusion : For better or worse? : the future of marriage. Just when the clamor over “traditional” marriage couldn’t get any louder, along comes this groundbreaking book to ask, “What tradition?” In Marriage, a History, historian and marriage expert Stephanie Coontz takes readers from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the torments of Victorian lovers to demonstrate how recent the idea of marrying for love is—and how absurd it would have seemed to most of our ancestors. It was when marriage moved into the emotional sphere in the nineteenth century, she argues, that it suffered as an institution just as it began to thrive as a personal relationship. This enlightening and hugely entertaining book brings intelligence, perspective, and wit to today’s marital debate. “Provocative, erudite and entertaining. What makes this book so important is its honesty and courage. It raises the important debates about marriage in America to a higher level.” —Chicago Tribune “Engrossing . . . Coontz is at the top of her writing game here.” —The Seattle Times Marriage has never been more fragile. But the same things that have made it so have also made a good marriage more fulfilling than ever before. In this enlightening and hugely entertaining book, historian and marriage expert Stephanie Coontz takes readers from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the sexual torments of Victorian couples to demonstrate how recent the idea of marrying for love is-and how absurd it would have seemed to most of our ancestors. It was only 200 years ago that marriage began to be about love and emotional commitment, and since then the very things that have strengthened marriage as a personal relationship have steadily weakened it as a social institution. Marriage, A History brings intelligence, wit, and some badly needed perspective to today's marital debates and dilemmas. An Analysis Of The Institution Of Marriage Detailing How Marriages Have Evolved From Loveless Unions To Their Current State, In An Exposé That Reveals The Impacts Of Victorian-inspired Marital Intimacy, Divorce, And Alternative Lifestyles. In Search Of Traditional Marriage -- The Era Of Political Marriage -- The Love Revolution -- Courting Disaster? The Collapse Of Universal And Lifelong Marriage -- For Better Or Worse? The Future Of Marriage. Stephanie Coontz. Includes Bibliographical References (p. 315-413) And Index. A historical analysis of the traditional institution of marriage traces its role as a practice designed to acquire favorable in-laws and improve a family's labor force, detailing how marriages have evolved from loveless, arranged unions to their present-day state, in an expos�� that reveals the impact of Victorian-inspired marital intimacy, divorce, and alternative lifestyles. Reprint. An analysis of the institution of marriage detailing how marriages have evolved from loveless unions to their current state, in an expos��e that reveals the impacts of Victorian-inspired marital intimacy, divorce, and alternative lifestyles.