Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology Book 0)

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy. ** The last decade has seen extraordinary advances in our understanding of psychobiological processes that underlie emotional connection in human relationshipsùadvances that have major implications for the clinical treatment of couples. Here, noted clinicians Marion Solomon and Stan Tatkin offer a paradigm-changing psychobiological approach to couple therapy, which brings a new lens to the relational issues that create problems between intimate partners, offers new ways to effect change, and promises new possibilities for transformation. Drawing from cutting-edge neurobiological and attachment research and examining the ways the brain and mind affect the dynamics of attachment, the authors explore the context of a couple's attachment history, explaining how interactions with our early caregivers can be recreated in adult primary attachment relationships. Establishing their shared vision of intimate relationships as a locus of safety and security, they explain how key moments of emotional disconnection can spark negative cycles that take over partners' behavior and communication, and, without intervention, destroy a relationship. This is where the psychobiological approach conies in. Operating on the premise that couples become stuck in mutually-reinforcing patterns of behavior that limit their ability to communicate, and framing these patterns within each partner's unique attachment history, the authors use detailed, poignant case examples to demonstrate assessment, intervention, and regulation techniques that deescalate arousal and promote connection and understanding, including an interview protocol, reenactments, and movement exercises. They also offer practical and compassionate tips for clinicians on self-care, and dealing with things that come up in sessions that may trigger a therapist's own fraught attachment history. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy. --Book Jacket The partnership vision Connection and disconnection How love turns to war The psychobiological imperative The psychobiological approach Treating the collective The partner attachment inventory The importance of movement The theoretical universe Attachment Arousal regulation Dysregulation The theory in practice Mark and melody David and margaret Cyrus and farah A neurobiological vocabulary Brain Memory systems Social/emotional skills and deficits Nervous system Neuroendocrine system. Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help de-escalate the battles? Here, two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to teach readers to help couples regulate each other's emotions, maintain their secure attachment, and foster positive relationships