Living Agelessly : Answers to Your Most Common Questions About Aging Gracefully

Adults now in their 50’s, approaching retirement, or already enjoying an active retirement have rejected the ideas that aging is a dreaded event that must be halted. Instead, many plan to live long and well even as they face the many challenges that this stage of life presents, which includes managing their own health and possibly the health of aging parents. Living Agelessly: Answers to Your Most Common Questions About Aging Gracefully teaches readers how to grow older with style and elegance. Written by Linda Altoonian, whose syndicated Dear Ageless column served as the basis for the book, Living Agelessly helps readers prepare for greater comfort and enjoyment while dealing with the practical issues of daily life. Mature adults will learn how to • Stay healthy • Exert greater control over their lives • Achieve financial stability and prepare for retirement • Enjoy a retirement filled with rewarding activities • Foster and nurture family relationships Living Agelessly provides the latest information on achieving and maintaining optimal health and offers practical advice on creating a secure and enjoyable retirement. The extensive resource list is a great starting place to find a wide variety of useful information. The listed books, agencies, organizations, and websites will be a valuable resource for anyone planning a long, fulfilling, and well-balanced life. Living AgelesslyAnswers to Your Most Common Questions About Aging GracefullyBy Linda AltoonianDiaMedica PUBLISHINGCopyright © 2009 Dear Ageless, LLCAll right reserved.ISBN: 978-0-9793564-4-5Chapter One Aging Gracefully The Power of the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection Dear Ageless: I'm constantly accused of being negative. I began to really listen to myself and found that my critics were right. I'm in my 50s. Is it too late to change? Wanting to be Positive Dear Wanting to be Positive: It's never too late to change, and there are good reasons for being motivated. A negative attitude is destructive on many levels. It affects how others feel about you, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel physically. Research shows that people with heart disease, America's number one killer, are 40 percent less likely to laugh than those of the same age without heart disease. Although researchers don't know how a positive attitude contributes to a healthier heart, they do know that mental stress and negativity affects the protective barrier that lines the blood vessels. So, in addition to exercise, not smoking, and a low-fat diet, it's crucial to your good health to add regular doses of hearty laughter. Living in the past or spending too much time planning for the future can prevent you from appreciating the present. Begin a gratitude journal. Date each entry and list all that was good in your day. Find value in the small things-nature, silence, a delicious meal-and you will cherish that which is most important: your relationships, abilities, and contributions to others. The happiest people are those who continue to discover and share their special gifts, who seek to learn new things, and who reach out to help others rather than focus on themselves. "Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: A Revolutionary Program to Counter Negative Thoughts" by Robert W. Firestone, Lisa Firestone, and Joyce Catlet is an excellent book for overcoming negative thoughts and working through self-imposed limitations that impact intimacy, career, and quality of life. Being positive is a choice. Even if you don't feel upbeat, behave as if you do. Your mind and body will respond. Others will be drawn to your warmth and friendliness. You'll begin to feel valued and loved, and you'll want to treat others the same way. It becomes the loveliest of cycles. Ageless Aging is a natural phenomenon that begins the moment we are born. Although we celebrate each new year, we begin to yearn to be another age almost immediately after blowing out the candles. Twelve-year-olds want to be 16, so they can date and drive. Sixteen-year-olds want to be 18, so they'll be considered adults. Eighteen-year-olds want to be 21, so they can drink and be independent. Thirty-year-olds want to be 21 again, because 30 seems old, especially if they haven't achieved the goals they set for themselves. Forty-year-olds experience a mid-life crisis. Fifty-year-olds struggle with empty-nest syndrome and the depression that comes with knowing that over half their life is gone. Sixty-year-olds must reassess their value to the world, especially if they are forced from the workplace. Seventy-year-olds begin to lose their physical prowess, and 80-year-olds their mental acuity. This deep unease about current age and the process of aging erodes self-esteem, creates insecurity, and negates happiness. Filtering experiences through such a negative lens taints even the loveliest of times. Because the hope is so great that another age will be better than the present one, most of us live in the future rather than value and enjoy the present. Planning for the future is fine, although even the "best laid plans" sometimes go awry. We just can't live there. The Power of the Mind Aging successfully is all about attitude. Because life is an unfolding process, feelings-even the most horrific ones-are transient, so take care not to be led by them. Decide to be in charge. It's critical to put your feelings into perspective, change your thought patterns, and choose your actions and reactions. Take pride in the accomplishments of the past and consider them the foundation of the present. Then appreciate the present, warts and all, because without the hard times, we wouldn't recognize the joy. Don't obsess about failures. It can result in depression and even debilitation. Evaluate failures, so that you can learn from them, but then let them go. This is a healthy habit that you can begin to develop and eventually embrace, although in the beginning you might not think it's possible. Each time a negative thought comes to mind, choose to replace it with one that's positive. Have at your fingertips index cards with quotes, scriptures, or excerpts from books that inspire, uplift, and regenerate your thought process. Words are powerful. Your words shape your memories, so choose your adjectives carefully when you describe your experiences, because they will be what you'll recall. Even if life has been difficult-and isn't that true for many of us?-searching for what is positive is crucial. An example of adopting a positive attitude might be: "I have survived so many challenges in the last 50 years and learned so much," rather than "My life has been one horrible problem after another." You can alter your life by altering your attitude. Evidence is mounting that a positive attitude not only affects your quality of and contentment with life, but it also delays the aging process. For example, researchers at The University of Texas conducted a seven-year experiment with more than 1,500 relatively healthy people to assess whether there was a link between emotions and the onset of frailty. They reported in the Journal of Psychology and Aging that, although genes and physical health play a role in aging, "Those people who had a positive outlook on life were significantly less likely to become frail than those who were more pessimistic." They speculated that positive emotions may directly affect the quality of health by altering the chemical balance of the body. "I believe that there is a connection between mind and body," said lead researcher Dr. Glenn Ostir, "and that our thoughts and attitudes/ emotions affect physical functioning and over-all health, whether through direct mechanisms like immune function or indirect mechanisms like social support networks." Scientific evidence even suggests that a positive attitude can lengthen life. In a study of 660 people over 50 (338 men and 322 women), Yale University Associate Professor Becca Levy found that those with positive perceptions of aging lived 7.5 years longer than people with negative perceptions of getting older. She suggests, "This is a critical finding, as medical achievements in the area of longevity are generally considered a success when they extend life by 1-2 years. The implications of attitude elongating life by 7 years are extraordinary." "Stereotypes of aging are probably internalized in childhood or adulthood, and are carried through into old age," Levy wrote in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "I think older adults can think about ways to question some of those negative stereotypes that they encounter in everyday life, and that there is reason to believe that may have a positive impact over time." Negative stereotypes of aging can also be countered by copying positive role models. Many active older people exude an optimistic attitude, attain goals, and forge ahead successfully, despite what society suggests about their age. They refuse to be told they can't do something, and they are a force to be reckoned with-and we would do well to emulate their attitude and behavior. Developing a positive attitude is a matter of choice. Begin with listening to your internal dialogue. How much of it is negative? Do you tell yourself, "I'm not good enough," or "There's no way I can do that"? You may be shocked at the number of thoughts during just one hour that feed your insecurities and fears, and raise your stress level. These destructive thoughts affect your body, your mood, your behavior, and your choices-every aspect of your life. When your internal dialogue is negative, your body releases stress hormones. Cardiovascular disease appears to be caused in part by the continuous production of stress hormones. When the constant message in your head is, "I can't," in all likelihood, you won't forge ahead, you won't take risks, and you won't succeed. In many cases, you won't even try. Your own thoughts will have altered your behavior, limited your choices, and sabotaged your happiness. It's never too late to change, and you can take steps to be more positive, including: * Begin by rewording the negative thoughts in your internal dialogue. Irene Segal in her book Just Coach It suggests the following positive affirmations (She calls it self talk.): - I will think of myself as successful! - I will have positive expectations for everything I do! - I will remind myself of past successes! - I will not dwell on failures; I just will not repeat them! - I will surround myself with positive people and ideas! - I will keep trying until I achieve the results I want! * Stop listening to your inner critic. It creates self-doubt, depression, and anger. This is the reason we are negative about ourselves and others. According to Segal, "When we listen to that inner critic, we are actually causing a separation from others, and separation from the best part of ourselves." * Be kinder to yourself and more compassionate. An example might be choosing to focus on what you completed, rather than berating yourself for what you didn't finish during a given day. When you truly accept and love who you are-and don't succumb in a momentary situation to whatever transient feelings occur-you will be able to tap into your best professional and personal self. * Be forgiving of others. When we're self-critical, we also tend to be critical of others when they don't do what we want. Our inner critic causes us to try and control and manipulate others. These efforts ultimately end in alienation. * Lighten up! Decide what is really important in your life and why. Then choose your passions and laugh about the rest. Create humor in your life. If you're down, watch a comedy on film or television, read some jokes, or call someone who makes you belly laugh. You'll elevate your mood and burn some calories. * Get into the habit of smiling. When you smile at others, it's an invitation to be treated lovingly, even on the telephone. The other person can "hear" your smile, and it can soften the most difficult conversations. So, even if you don't feel like it, smiling will encourage positive things to happen in your life, and soon you will be smiling because you have something to smile about. * Improve your diet, increase your level of activity (increases endorphins, those feel-good hormones), and sleep more soundly. * Exercise your brain. Play word games, keep up with current events, learn how to use a computer, and take a class. You will feel sharp, in the loop, more interesting, and powerful. Even small changes will increase your confidence level. * Decide what you love to do and delegate or eliminate from your life the activities that do not agree with your decisions. * Choose to participate in pleasurable activities. Go to the theater, concerts, or museums, take baths to reduce stress, read a good book, listen to music at home, and reconnect with old friends. * Become more spiritual. People who attend religious services or are otherwise spiritually engaged, practice their beliefs, and relate to other believers, appear to live longer and more satisfying lives. Meditation and prayer also seem to be extraordinarily effective in reducing stress and increasing wellness. * Help others. One of the best remedies for not obsessing about your own concerns is to focus on others. It helps with perspective and redirection, and just makes us feel good. Volunteer at your local hospital or read to the blind, run errands for an aging neighbor, deliver meals to someone who is housebound, become a foster grandparent to a child, or mentor a teenager. Working with kids will make you feel younger, too. * Find ways to love and be loved. Communicating your feelings about difficulties minimizes their seeming enormity and power, and allows for new perspective. Holding in your feelings results in stress and frustration, withdrawal, and alienation from others. Caring about and sharing with friends and family alleviates feelings of depression and loneliness. The one absolute in life is that we will all age and eventually die. The process begins the moment we're conceived, but the choice for how we handle this reality is one that we make from moment to moment. We may not be able to control the circumstances of our life (family, country of origin, genetics, and innate talent), but we can control our reaction to our circumstances. The Power of the Body There is no question that a healthy diet, regular exercise, and eight hours of sleep are critical for the body to heal and rejuvenate itself. When you care properly for your body, you will be able to face the day with energy and the ability to complete tasks. Even if all our physical needs are met, however, our energy will be drained and our ability to complete tasks compromised if we're struggling emotionally. Important options are available-psychiatrists can prescribe drugs that may alleviate symptoms, psychologists can guide effective talk therapy, and counselors use techniques that can help educate us and change our behavior. Anyone who suffers with emotional problems should seek help in the same way they would for a physical ailment. Just like a physical disorder, an emotional disorder can worsen if left unattended, or improve with treatment. * Begin by having a check-up, so that any physical component to your problem can be ruled out. Get referrals from your physician for appropriate professionals whom you might decide to interview. * Discuss your problem with people you trust. Finding out that others share a similar struggle can alleviate some of the associated fear and isolation. * Ask your confidantes for the names of professionals who helped them resolve their issues. Then set up interviews (yes ... with doctors and other health care providers, too). Develop your list of questions before the conversation. Interviewing (which can be done on the telephone) allows you to determine if the philosophy and style of the person with whom you will be working makes you feel comfortable. If not, choose a different professional. If the health care provider is unwilling to be interviewed, that person is also not the professional for you. * Always get a second opinion when you must make a serious decision about your health, and do not feel strange in telling your doctor that you intend to do so. Good doctors will encourage you to seek another doctor's advice or opinion. It's important to have a fresh perspective, and someone else to read your tests, X-rays, and charts. This policy reduces the risk of mistakes as well. * Know that some doctors refuse to give a second opinion. Their hesitation is in possibly being in conflict with a colleague. It is not necessary to say at the onset that you are seeking another opinion. It's better, anyway, to allow the second doctor complete objectivity. * If the diagnosis is severe, ask for retesting. Sometimes, labs make errors, and even another doctor won't catch it because he will be reading erroneous results. * Be sure to get a yearly exam by both your physician and your gynecologist, if you are a woman. A regular assessment by your doctor will catch changes in your body that you may not have noticed because they have evolved slowly. * Take medicine as prescribed, and finish all antibiotics. Resistance to antibiotics can result if you don't finish your medications as prescribed. If you have an adverse reaction-such as hives, lethargy, or disorientation-contact your doctor immediately. * Make sure your doctor knows all the medications you are taking in order to avoid the danger that can come with polypharmacy (mixing of medications). Keep a list of all your medications, their dosages, and how often you take them on your refrigerator for paramedics, who may have to treat you in your home. * Keep a list of all your medications in your wallet. You will have the list when your doctor asks you for an update, and it will also be available if you need emergency treatment, but, for whatever reason, you cannot communicate with hospital attendants. * If possible, consider getting all your prescriptions from one pharmacy. The pharmacist can be of enormous help in identifying the danger that comes with polypharmacy, and in explaining potential problems that may come with mixing your particular medications. (Continues...) Excerpted from Living Agelesslyby Linda Altoonian Copyright © 2009 by Dear Ageless, LLC. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site. Adults now in their 50 s, approaching retirement, or already enjoying an active retirement have rejected the ideas that aging is a dreaded event that must be halted. Instead, many plan to live long and well even as they face the many challenges that this stage of life presents, which includes managing their own health and possibly the health of aging parents. Living Agelessly: Answers to Your Most Common Questions About Aging Gracefully teaches readers how to grow older with style and elegance. Written by Linda Altoonian, whose syndicated Dear Ageless column served as the basis for the book, Living Agelessly helps readers prepare for greater comfort and enjoyment while dealing with the practical issues of daily life. Mature adults will learn how to Stay healthy Exert greater control over their lives Achieve financial stability and prepare for retirement Enjoy a retirement filled with rewarding activities Foster and nurture family relationshipsLiving Agelessly provides the latest information on achieving and maintaining optimal health and offers practical advice on creating a secure and enjoyable retirement. The extensive resource list is a great starting place to find a wide variety of useful information. The listed books, agencies, organizations, and websites will be a valuable resource for anyone planning a long, fulfilling, and well-balanced life.