Listen up or lose out : how to avoid miscommunication, improve relationships, and get more done faster

**Want better results? Talk less and listen more.** Listening might seem like the easiest thing in the world to do. But most people retain only a fraction of what they hear, resulting in miscommunications and lost opportunities. When you actively listen, you learn to gather perspectives, bridge differences, and resolve problems. Absorbing what a person is saying, thinking, and feeling sets the stage for dramatically improved relationships and increased professional success. **__Listen Up or Lose Out__** pulls this underused tool out from the shadows and highlights its role in effective communications. Step by step, the book breaks down listening into a set of learnable skills, explaining how to: Avoid the urge to criticize, question, or advise - Focus on the speaker's point of view - Ask the right questions, in the right order - Restate the speaker's key points and keep the conversation moving - Read people's feelings and reflect them back - Find solutions together Skilled listeners experience fewer conflicts, make better decisions, and discover opportunities that others might miss. No amount of talking beats great listening! Introduction: What This Book Will Do for You xi PART I: WHY IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING? 1. Quality Listening Enhances Work Relationships 3 2. Listening Well Is Good Business 15 3. A Good Listener Is a Rare Find 23 4. Quality Listening Strengthens Personal Relationships 31 PART II: DO'S AND DON'TS OF GREAT LISTENING 5. Trouble Spots in the Talking--Listening Process 43 6. Identifying Your Listening Missteps 53 7. Reducing Major Missteps 67 8. Skill-Based Listening 71 9. Whose Turn Is it? 77 10. Focus Your Attention 83 11. Be a Great Asker 95 12. Creating and Sequencing Productive Questions 101 PART III: REFLECTING CONTENT 13. Reflective Listening: Antidote to Miscommunication 115 14. Paraphrase What's Important 129 15. Listen Through the Pauses 141 PART IV: READING AND REFLECTING OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS 16. Why Listen to People's Feelings? 151 17. "Read" People's Feelings 161 18. Reflect Feelings and Meanings 171 PART V: THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND 19. Wrap It Up with a Summary Reflection 185 20. Results-Focused Listening 193 21. The Listening Spirit 209 22. Make Great Listening Part of Your Everyday Life 219 Appendix 231 Endnotes 243 Index 261 Learning how to actively listen and absorb what a person is saying, thinking, and feeling can set the stage for dramatically improved relationships and increased personal success. Most people retain only a fraction of what they hear, resulting in miscommunications and lost opportunities. In Listen Up or Lose Out, communications expert Robert Bolton highlights the underestimated and under-utilized tool of active listening and explains how it can be used to gather perspectives, bridge differences, and resolve problems. Bolton teaches you key communication skills by: breaking down listening into a set of learnable skills such as avoiding the urge to criticize, question, or advise; focusing on the speaker's point of view; asking the right questions, in the right order; and learning how to read people's feelings and reflect them back Listen Up or Lose Out explains how one can become a skilled listener who experiences fewer conflicts, makes better decisions, and discovers opportunities that others might miss. Whether personally or in business, could you benefit from better communication? Give listening a try! Most people retain only a fraction of what they hear, resulting in miscommunications and lost opportunities. But learning how to actively listen and absorb what a person is saying, thinking, and feeling can set the stage for dramatically improved relationships and increased personal success.In Listen Up or Lose Out, communications expert Robert Bolton highlights the underestimated and not well utilized tool of active listening and explains how it can be used to gather perspectives, bridge differences, and resolve problems. By breaking down listening into a set of learnable skills such as avoiding the urge to criticize, question, or advise; focusing on the speaker’s point of view; asking the right questions, in the right order; and learning how to read people’s feelings and reflect them back, Bolton explains how one can become a skilled listener who experiences fewer conflicts, makes better decisions, and discovers opportunities that others might miss. Whether personally or in business, could you benefit from better communication? Give listening a try! Pt. I. Why improve your listening? Quality listening enhances work relationships Listening well is good business A good listener is a rare find Quality listening strengthens personal relationships pt. II. Do's and don'ts of great listening. Trouble spots in the talking listening process Identifying your listening missteps Reducing major missteps Skill-based listening Whose turn is it? Focus your attention Be a great asker Creating and sequencing productive questions pt. III. Reflecting content. Reflective listening : antidote to miscommunication Paraphrase what's important Listen through the pauses pt. V. Reading and reflecting other people's feelings. Why listen to people's feelings? "Read" people's feelings Reflect feelings and meanings pt. V. Things to keep in mind. Wrap it up with a summary reflection Results-focused listening The listening spirit Make great listening part of your everyday life. Listen Up or Lose Out pulls this underused tool out from the shadows and highlights its role in effective communications. Step by step, the book breaks down listening into a set of learnable skills, explaining how to: avoid the urge to criticize, question, or advise; focus on the speaker's point of view; ask the right questions, in the right order; restate the speaker's key points and keep the conversation moving; read people's feelings and reflect them back; and find solutions together. Breaking down listening into a set of learnable skills, this step-by-step book pulls this underused tool out from the shadows and highlights its role in effective communications. -- Résumé abrégé tiré de l'ouvrage Are you having trouble communicating? Maybe you should try talking less--and listening more.