Like Family Narratives of FictiveKinship : Narratives of Fictive Kinship

For decades, social scientists have assumed that “fictive kinship” is a phenomenon associated only with marginal peoples and people of color in the United States. In this innovative book, Nelson reveals the frequency, texture and dynamics of relationships which are felt to be “like family” among the white middle-class. Drawing on extensive, in-depth interviews, Nelson describes the quandaries and contradictions, delight and anxiety, benefits and costs, choice and obligation in these relationships. She shows the ways these fictive kinships are similar to one another as well as the ways they vary—whether around age or generation, co-residence, or the possibility of becoming “real” families. Moreover she shows that different parties to the __same__ relationship understand them in some similar – and some very different – ways. Theoretically rich and beautifully written, the book is accessible to the general public while breaking new ground for scholars in the field of family studies. "For decades, social scientists have assumed that 'fictive kinship' is a phenomenon associated only with marginal peoples and people of color in the United States. In this innovative book, Nelson reveals the frequency, texture and dynamics of relationships which are felt to be 'like family' among the white middle-class. Drawing on extensive, in-depth interviews, Nelson describes the quandaries and contradictions, delight and anxiety, benefits and costs, choice and obligation in these relationships. She shows the ways these fictive kinships are similar to one another as well as the ways they vary—whether around age or generation, co-residence, or the possibility of becoming 'real' families. Moreover she shows that different parties to the same relationship understand them in some similar – and some very different – ways. Theoretically rich and beautifully written, the book is accessible to the general public while breaking new ground for scholars in the field of family studies."-- Provided by publisher Cover 1 Series Page 3 Title Page 4 Copyright 5 Dedication 6 Contents 8 Preface 10 Introduction 16 Part I. True Life Stories 32 1. The Texture and Dynamics of Like-Sibling Bonds 34 2. The Limits of Like-Sibling Bonds 52 Part II. One-Act Plays 70 3. Guest Teens: Learning Boundaries 72 4. Host Families: Inclusion and Exclusion 86 Part III. Fairy Tales 108 5. Unofficial Children: If the Shoe Fits 110 6. Informal Parents: Promises Broken, Promises Kept 126 Conclusion: Reconsidering Kinship 149 Appendix A: Respondents 160 Appendix B: Studying Fictive Kinship and Informal Adoption 174 Acknowledgments 182 Notes 184 Bibliography 218 Index 238 About the Author 244 For decades, social scientists have assumed that "fictive kinship" is a phenomenon associated only with marginal peoples and people of colour in the United States. In this innovative book, Nelson reveals the frequency, texture and dynamics of relationships which are felt to be "like family" among the White, middle-class.