Let Go Now : Embrace Detachment As a Path to Freedom (Addiction Recovery and Al-Anon Self-Help Book)

Daily Meditations to Help You End Codependency "In 200 short, straightforward daily lessons illustrating the many forms that detachment can take in one's life. Casey's latest is an easy reference guide for those seeking recovery or peace." — Publishers Weekly #1 New Release in Personality Disorders and Twelve-Step Programs End codependency now. Do you ever feel like you might be giving other people too much power over your mood? Do you find yourself feeling immobilized by expectations and demands? The cure for codependency is detachment, says Karen Casey, best-selling author of over forty books that have helped fans around the world. Letting go. When we remove codependent relationships and codependent behavior from our lives, we discover a life of balance and freedom. Detach from emotions and circumstances that are not in your control. Find your balance point and learn how to reach it, whether you find yourself tempted to become enmeshed in other people's problems or rushing to their rescue. Letting life in. Is where we are intentional? Why is every moment an opportunity? Using 200 meditations, Karen reminds us that we cannot control anyone or anything beyond ourselves. Inspiring and easy to read, Let Go Now guides us away from taking care of others, and toward taking care of ourselves. If you agree that recovery works and enjoyed other codependency books like Codependent No More, Journey to the Heart, or The Language of Letting Go; you'll love Karen Casey's Let Go Now. Title Page Copyright Dedication Preface Acknowledgments Contents Introduction MEDITATIONS 1. Detachment is simply watching the events that are unfolding around you, getting involved only when your journey is part of the experience. 2. Detachment is stepping back from an experience in order to allow room for God to do His or Her part. 3. Detachment promises quiet contentment. 4. Detachment is making no one a project. 5. Detachment means taking no hostages. 6. Detachment means giving up outcomes. 7. Detachment is letting the solutions be determined by God. 8. Detachment is understanding that we are never the cause of someone else’s actions. 9. Detachment is getting over “it,” whatever “it” is. 10. Detachment frees up our time. PAUSE AND REFLECT 11. Detachment simplifies our life. 12. Detachment is an acquired habit. 13. Detachment means freedom from obsession. 14. Detachment is knowing that what others do is not a reflection on you. 15. Detachment is not making a big deal of situations, even complicated ones. 16. Detachment empowers us. 17. Detachment frees us from overreaction. 18. Detachment may mean doing nothing. 19. Detachment may be remaining quiet. 20. Detachment is not acquiescence. PAUSE AND REFLECT 21. Detachment is disengagement, nothing more. 22. Detachment means not letting the behavior of others cause you to suffer. 23. Detachment can be triggered by the reminder, “Don’t go there.” 24. Detachment is not letting someone else’s past determine your present. 25. Detachment relies on the “little willingness” to surrender. 26. Detachment is noticing people without judgment. 27. Detachment is freedom from chaos. 28. Detachment is “moving away” from a conversation that begins to irritate. 29. Detachment is knowing that the mind can change if what you say to the mind changes. 30. Detachment is letting decisions that need to be made by others be only theirs. PAUSE AND REFLECT 31. Detachment is “keeping it simple”—staying out of situations that don’t directly involve you. 32. Detachment is having your life be about you, not about other people. 33. Detachment is living in our adult observer role. 34. Detachment is not being dependent on others for good feelings. 35. Detachment is taking responsibility for our own life. 36. Detachment means not being a victim anymore. 37. Detachment is living one’s own life while letting friends and family live as they choose. 38. Detachment is never letting someone else control how we think, feel, or behave. 39. Detachment is letting go of fear over others’ behavior. 40. Detachment is freedom from relying on others to complete our lives. PAUSE AND REFLECT 41. Detachment, when fully expressed, promises peacefulness. 42. Detachment is a gift that we receive from our relationships well lived. 43. Detachment from others is necessary to fully enjoy attachment to God. 44. Detachment is knowing that others’ criticisms are about them. 45. Attachment to God is what makes detachment possible. 46. Attachment to anyone other than God imprisons us. 47. Detachment is not letting the mood swings of others determine your own mood. 48. Detachment is practicing the awareness that changing our thoughts can produce changed feelings. 49. Detachment is knowing that happiness is the by-product of how we live our lives, not how others are living theirs. 50. Detachment is not needing attention from others to feel okay. PAUSE AND REFLECT 51. Detachment is being able to care deeply about a situation or another person from an objective point of view. 52. Detachment is not creating or preventing a crisis when it’s clearly not our business to be involved. 53. Detachment is letting others have their own opinions. 54. Detachment is being able to let others journey wherever they need to go. 55. Detachment is knowing that you are not God. 56. Detachment is no longer succumbing to the suggestions of others when they are not right for us. 57. Detachment is being able to walk away from situations that are not helpful to us. 58. Detachment is knowing that your life is God’s business, not yours. 59. Detachment is knowing what is not your business. 60. Detachment allows us to hear God. PAUSE AND REFLECT 61. Detachment is letting others take care of their own affairs. 62. Attachment to people deadlocks our growth. 63. Detachment can be as simple as breathing and walking away. 64. Detachment can be enhanced by prayer. 65. Detachment means giving up “hostages.” 66. Detachment is letting the outcome of another’s behavior be his or her problem. 67. Detachment is doing the “next right thing” without focusing on the outcome. 68. Detachment is realizing that our lives are not dependent on what others are doing. 69. Detachment is showing by example, not words, how our lives can change. 70. Detachment is looking at life from a distance. PAUSE AND REFLECT 71. Detachment is knowing that you are not the center of anyone else’s life. 72. Detachment means following your own heart’s desire. 73. Detachment is relinquishing the role of being someone else’s Higher Power. 74. Detachment is not being diminished by the behavior of others. 75. Detachment is keeping your feelings separate from what others are doing. 76. Detachment is taking responsibility for your feelings. 77. Detachment means no longer harboring thoughts of “attachment.” 78. Detachment is no longer feeling unfairly treated. 79. Detachment is keeping your feelings separate from what others are saying and doing. 80. Detachment means no longer adjusting our lives to the whims of others. PAUSE AND REFLECT 81. Detachment from others can be nurtured by strengthening our “attachment” to our personal hopes and dreams. 82. Detachment is not interfering with what another person should do. 83. Detachment is refusing to let our interactions with others define us. 84. Detachment means no longer needing to be in charge of anything, not even our own lives. 85. Detachment is not disinterest, but that might be the first step. 86. Detachment means no longer leading others’ lives. 87. Detachment is respecting the boundaries between yourself and others. 88. Detachment is freedom from the desire to get someone back. 89. Detachment is the freedom not to be angry or sad. 90. Detachment is giving up control, even the thought of it! PAUSE AND REFLECT 91. Detachment is not letting anyone else decide how you feel. 92. Detachment is freedom from saying, “I told you so.” 93. Detachment is being able to put yourself at the top of the list of “who needs care.” 94. Detachment is letting our friends have whatever kind of day they choose to have. 95. Detachment means acknowledging and even celebrating another’s unique journey. 96. Detachment is no longer “dancing” around someone else’s life. 97. Detachment is no longer needing to assuage anyone else’s anger. 98. Detachment is being able to claim our own identities. 99. Detachment is accepting what we cannot change and changing only what we can. 100. Detachment is not taking anyone else’s behavior personally. PAUSE AND REFLECT 101. Detachment is no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. 102. Detachment is letting things rest. 103. Detachment is being able to move our minds away from the unhealthy places they want to go. 104. Detachment is being able to stop our minds in midthought when the thoughts are not beneficial. 105. Detachment is no longer living in the tumultuous spaces of other peoples’ minds. 106. Detachment doesn’t mean separation from our loved ones. It means acceptance of who and what they are. 107. Detachment is a gift to one and all. 108. Detachment never means being rude or dismissive. 109. Detachment is a growth opportunity that we can claim every day of our lives. 110. Detachment is not to be confused with disloyalty. PAUSE AND REFLECT 111. Detachment from the problems of others is God’s will. They and God will solve what needs to be solved. 112. Detachment is one of the most loving of all our actions. 113. Detachment empowers. 114. Detachment offers us freedom from blame. 115. Detachment is like a breath of fresh air. 116. Prayer is an effective way to help us detach from the behavior of others. 117. Unless we practice detachment, we will find ourselves reacting many times a day. 118. When we practice detachment, we serve as great teachers to others. 119. If we become too detached, will others leave us behind? 120. The most loving thing we can do is let another person be free; that’s detachment. PAUSE AND REFLECT 121. Detachment is practiced moment by moment. 122. Accountability, ours and others,’ is the hallmark of detachment. 123. Detachment is the way to cultivate peace, one moment at a time. 124. Those who are hardest to detach from are our best teachers. 125. Detaching from others is one of the most rewarding and revealing changes we can ever make. 126. Making the decision to detach from a loved one may well be the most important, as well as kindest, gift we can give ourselves. Ever. 127. Detachment is a swift and sure way of expressing unconditional love. 128. Learning to detach is a process. It moves faster for some than for others. But the pace is not important. 129. Seeing God within our friends will help us let them live their own lives without our control. Detachment can come in many ways. 130. Detachment is a tool that can be practiced with and by everyone. PAUSE AND REFLECT 131. Detaching from our companions does not mean discounting them, dismissing them, or rejecting them. 132. Keeping it simple helps us detach from others. 133. Detachment is how we release ourselves from responsibility for others. 134. Perfecting detachment is a lifelong journey. But prayer will help. 135. Detaching from others doesn’t preclude joining with them in a healthy way on occasion. 136. Silence can be golden, and detachment is the method. 137. Detachment is most likely a learned trait. 138. Asking a friend to witness our practice of detachment is an interesting and worthwhile opportunity—for both parties. 139. Detachment is not a “one time only” solution. 140. Detachment promises peace of mind. Does this make it God’s will? PAUSE AND REFLECT 141. Detachment is only one of many choices. 142. Detachment, when practiced honestly, doesn’t allow criticism. 143. Detachment first requires a new way of thinking. 144. Detachment implies giving up control. 145. Fear may keep us from detaching. 146. Unconditional love can be packaged in many ways. Detachment may not seem like one of them, but it is. 147. Saying “I can choose peace instead of this” is one way of embracing detachment. 148. Not reacting to others is a demonstration of detachment. 149. Detachment does not mean disavowal of others. 150. Detachment from others is the opposite of being obsessed. PAUSE AND REFLECT 151. Detachment reduces tension immediately. 152. Detaching from our family members allows them to grow in ways unique to them. 153. Detachment encourages everyone to be more responsible. 154. Our willingness to detach from our loved ones demonstrates to them that we trust them. 155. God’s will is simple: detach. 156. Detachment might first begin with a vision of doing it successfully. 157. Surrendering control is another way to think of detachment. 158. The freedom to live our lives can’t be accomplished unless we detach ourselves from the lives of others. 159. Detachment is a loving choice, one among many. 160. Maintaining healthy boundaries is key to good relationships. Knowing when to detach is crucial to the process. PAUSE AND REFLECT 161. If we seek to detach, God will be present to help us. 162. Detachment will require major changes for some, minor changes for others. 163. Detaching from the chaos around us by seeking the silence within creates healing in us and in others too, in time. 164. The most effective way of keeping our focus where it belongs is by detaching from others. 165. If we fail to detach from a person who is always in turmoil, we’re likely to blame them for our unhappiness. 166. Every moment provides a chance for us to make a healthy choice. Detachment is one of the healthiest of all. 167. Prayer is effective when honing the detachment skill. 168. Watching others will reveal to us many who practice detachment. 169. Detaching from the struggles of our loved ones does not preclude witnessing their humanity. 170. Detachment might be interpreted as, “I accept you as you are.” PAUSE AND REFLECT 171. The commitment to detachment prevents the compulsion to react. 172. Are you choosing to detach when the opportunity presents itself today? 173. There is a subtle distinction between joining with those on our journey and detaching from them when we need to. 174. There is one sure way to experience peace: detach from the upheavals of others. 175. The act of detachment precludes criticism. 176. Fear propels us to attach ourselves to others. 177. Do we want freedom to grow or a life that’s small? How we relate to others determines this. 178. Making the decision to change how we think can open the door to the practice of detachment. 179. Appreciating the gift and the power of detachment is certain to lead us to a simpler life. 180. Detaching from the chaos of others’ lives may not look like love, but it is. PAUSE AND REFLECT 181. Detaching from our friends spurs some of them on to being more responsible. 182. A sure indication that we have not embraced detachment is when our focus is too much on someone else. 183. Detachment doesn’t have to mean disinterest. 184. Accepting detachment as a loving act seems strange to some. 185. Surrendering your control over life, your own life and the lives of others, is a great demonstration of detachment. 186. Our willingness to detach from others is enhanced if we have developed trust in a Higher Power. 187. Detachment can feel like lack of love. But it’s really God’s will. 188. Dreams can help us in our development of any skill. Detachment is one of them. 189. Making the commitment to detach from our loved ones (and all others too) is a big change for many of us. 190. Being willing to practice the art of detachment is what promises us the freedom to grow. PAUSE AND REFLECT 191. Embracing silence in the face of turmoil is an act of detachment. 192. Sharing a path in life doesn’t mean stepping on each other’s toes. 193. Our greatest asset in life is having God’s presence, whether it’s to help us detach from others or simply to breathe. 194. The recognition of another person’s need for space helps us develop our own commitment to the healing value of detachment. 195. Sometimes we resist detaching from the problems of others because reacting feels so good. 196. If we want freedom from our addiction to controlling others, prayer is the solution, and detachment is the result. 197. The art of detachment is best learned by watching our teachers. 198. There is no time but now. Do we want to peacefully enjoy it? Being willing to detach from chaos is the way. 199. Detachment may seem antithetical to the spiritual principle of joining. It’s not. 200. To detach means giving up our fear about another’s journey. PAUSE AND REFLECT Subject Index

So many of us spend so much time enmeshed in other people's problems, trying to solve or change them, that we don't really know where we begin and they end. Not reacting to people or situations that provoke us is not an easy skill to develop. It takes practice and conviction that not reacting, not increasing the drama, doesn't mean we don't care. On the contrary, we are freed to show genuine love and care only when we can detach from the knee-jerk need to fix, solve, rescue, or control. Even the idea that someone else can make us feel happy (or beautiful or angry) or we them is an illusion, says Casey in this remarkable book. All our feelings come from within and we get to choose how to respond to life.

The meditations in this power-packed little book provide us the tools we need to practice letting go of the illusion that we can control anyone or anything beyond our selves. Casey teaches us to focus on finding our own balance point and recognizing how to get to it whenever we find ourselves tempted to rescue or enmesh.

Publishers Weekly

Though the prolific Casey (Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow) admits that embracing detachment (to bring together separation) is a conundrum, she sees it as a way of life that must be followed in order to find true peace. A dysfunctional upbringing lead her to alcohol abuse and then AA, which helped her to understand her codependent behavior: she had danced around others and based her self-image around their approval. By practicing detachment, which she admits requires a commitment of patience and time, she experienced a major transformation. Too many of us, Casey believes, allow the behavior of others, whether good, bad, or indifferent, to control us. After a brief introduction, she presents 200 short, straightforward daily lessons, from detachment from others is necessary to fully enjoy attachment to God to relinquishing the role of being someone else's Higher Power, illustrating the many forms that detachment can take in one's life, and the obvious foundation behind her self-help philosophy. Obviously inspired by the tenets of AA, and updated with an eye to the east, Casey's latest is an easy reference guide for those seeking recovery or peace.
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In 200 short, straightforward daily lessons illustrating the many forms that detachment can take in ones life. Caseys latest is an easy reference guide for those seeking recovery or peace. Publishers Weekly #1 New Release in Personality Disorders and Twelve-Step Programs End codependency now. Do you ever feel like you might be giving other people too much power over your mood? Do you find yourself feeling immobilized by expectations and demands? The cure for codependency is detachment, says Karen Casey, best-selling author of over forty books that have helped fans around the world. Letting go. When we remove codependent relationships and codependent behavior from our lives, we discover a life of balance and freedom. Detach from emotions and circumstances that are not in your control. Find your balance point and learn how to reach it, whether you find yourself tempted to become enmeshed in other peoples problems or rushing to their rescue. Letting life in. Is where we are intentional? Why is every moment an opportunity? Using 200 meditations, Karen reminds us that we cannot control anyone or anything beyond ourselves. Inspiring and easy to read, Let Go Now guides us away from taking care of others, and toward taking care of ourselves. If you agree that recovery works and enjoyed other codependency books like Codependent No More , Journey to the Heart , or The Language of Letting Go ; youll love Karen Casey's Let Go Now . A companion book to Codependence and the Power of Detachment, Let Go Now provides reminders and meditations to make detachment a regular practice. From one of the reigning queens of recovery, Karen Casey. Not reacting to people or situations that provoke us is not an easy skill to develop. And skill it is. Just as you have to hit thousands of tennis balls to become a skilled tennis player or sit for long hours at a keyboard to become proficient at piano, you have to practice the art of detachment. We have to convince ourselves that not reacting doesn't mean we don't care. On the contrary, Casey shows us, we are freed to show genuine love and care only when we can detach from the kneejerk need to fix or solve or rescue. Even the idea that someone else can make us feel happy (or beautiful or angry or exasperated) is an illusion, says Casey. All our feelings come from within, and we get to choose how to respond to life. No one can give--or take--that from us. These facts are among the keys to our emotional well being. This little book with its brief meditations, will help us practice letting go of the illusion that we can fix or control anyone or anything else, and focus on finding our own balance point. It gives us a lifeline when we find ourselves giving in to the temptation to rescue or enmesh “200 short, straightforward daily lessons” and meditations to help you end codependency: “An easy reference guide for those seeking recovery or peace” (Publishers Weekly). Do you ever sense you might be giving other people too much power over your mood? Do you find yourself feeling immobilized by other people’s expectations? The cure for codependency is detachment, and in Let Go Now, bestselling author Karen Casey offers practical steps for implementing the principles of detachment in your life. When we remove codependent relationships and behaviors from our lives, we discover a life of balance and freedom. With two hundred meditations, Karen helps us realize that we cannot control anyone or anything beyond ourselves. Inspiring and easy to read, Let Go Now guides us away from taking care of others and toward taking care of ourselves.