Labor of love : the invention of dating

"Does anyone date anymore?" Today, the authorities tell us that courtship is in crisis. But when Moira Weigel dives into the history of sex and romance in modern America, she discovers that authorities have always said this. Ever since young men and women started to go out together, older generations have scolded them: That's not the way to find true love. The first women who made dates with strangers were often arrested for prostitution; long before "hookup culture," there were "petting parties"; before parents worried about cell phone apps, they fretted about joyrides and "parking." Dating is always dying. But this does not mean that love is dead. It simply changes with the economy. Dating is, and always has been, tied to work. Lines like “I’ll pick you up at six” made sense at a time when people had jobs that started and ended at fixed hours. But in an age of contract work and flextime, many of us have become sexual freelancers, more likely to text a partner “u still up?” Weaving together over one hundred years of history with scenes from the contemporary landscape, __Labor of Love__ offers a fresh feminist perspective on how we came to date the ways we do. This isn't a guide to “getting the guy.” There are no ridiculous “rules” to follow. Instead, Weigel helps us understand how looking for love shapes who we are—and hopefully leads us closer to the happy ending that dating promises. "A radical Marxist feminist tract disguised as a salmon-pink self-help book." --Laurie Penny, __The New Statesman__ "Much juicier than your average history book . . . [it] reads like a documentary about something you never knew could be so interesting." --__BUST__ "As compulsively readable as any self-help dating book, Moira Weigel's __Labor of Love__ is an original, exhaustive study of courtship in the United States across two centuries. As Weigel finds, advances in technology don't necessarily equate with mores: women still serve as the assigned arbiters and police of all things sexual, from holding hands to giving birth. But more than polemic, __Labor of Love__ is a heartfelt work, written from and speaking to the need for intimate connection that animates our willingness to navigate these complex and contradictory codes." --Chris Kraus, author of __I Love Dick__ "__Labor of Love__ is a brilliant history of courtship, love, and sex that is also a brilliant investigation into profound changes in the nature of American work, leisure, consumer society, education, and city life over the twentieth-century and into the new millennium. Elegantly written, gratifyingly clear-eyed, and sharply funny, it restores the essential strangeness of dating, while expertly navigating the fraught contemporary debates over its meaning." --Nikil Saval, author of __Cubed: A Secret History of the Workplace__ "__Labor of Love__ is a work of essential social history. This is by far the best treatment of courtship, romance, and that awkward squirmy ritual we call a 'date' I've ever read." --Christian Rudder, author of __Datacylsm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking)__ and founder of OkCupid "Instead of going out tonight, do yourself a favor: stay in and read this book. Moira Weigel and her genre-bending history of dating are excellent, illuminating company." --Astra Taylor, author of __The People's Platform__ and director of __Examined Life__ and __Zizek!__ **Moira Weigel** was born in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared in __The Guardian, The Nation, The New Republic, n+1,__ and __The New Inquiry,__ among other publications, and she is currently completing a PhD in Comparative Literature at Yale University. After years of first-person research on dating, she is off the market. __Labor of Love__ is her first book.

“Does anyone date anymore?” Today, the authorities tell us that courtship is in crisis. But when Moira Weigel dives into the history of sex and romance in modern America, she discovers that authorities have always said this. Ever since young men and women started to go out together, older generations have scolded them: That’s not the way to find true love. The first women who made dates with strangers were often arrested for prostitution; long before “hookup culture,” there were “petting parties”; before parents worried about cell phone apps, they fretted about joyrides and “parking.” Dating is always dying. But this does not mean that love is dead. It simply changes with the economy. Dating is, and always has been, tied to work.

Lines like “I’ll pick you up at six” made sense at a time when people had jobs that started and ended at fixed hours. But in an age of contract work and flextime, many of us have become sexual freelancers, more likely to text a partner “u still up?” Weaving together over one hundred years of history with scenes from the contemporary landscape, Labor of Love offers a fresh feminist perspective on how we came to date the ways we do. This isn't a guide to “getting the guy.” There are no ridiculous “rules” to follow. Instead, Weigel helps us understand how looking for love shapes who we are—and hopefully leads us closer to the happy ending that dating promises.

"Does anyone date anymore?" Today, the authorities tell us that courtship is in crisis. But when Moira Weigel dives into the history of sex and romance in modern America, she discovers that authorities have always said this. Ever since young men and women started to go out together, older generations have scolded them: That's not the way to find true love. The first women who made dates with strangers were often arrested for prostitution; long before "hookup culture," there were "petting parties"; before parents worried about cell phone apps, they fretted about joyrides and "parking." Dating is always dying. But this does not mean that love is dead. It simply changes with the economy. Dating is, and always has been, tied to work. Lines like "I'll pick you up at six" made sense at a time when people had jobs that started and ended at fixed hours. But in an age of contract work and flextime, many of us have become sexual freelancers, more likely to text a partner "u still up?" Weaving together over one hundred years of history with scenes from the contemporary landscape, Labor of Love offers a fresh feminist perspective on how we came to date the ways we do. This isn't a guide to "getting the guy." There are no ridiculous "rules" to follow. Instead, Weigel helps us understand how looking for love shapes who we are#8212;and hopefully leads us closer to the happy ending that dating promises It Seems As Though Every Week There's A New App Available On Your Smartphone Promising Dates A Plenty--just Swipe Right. A Mate, On The Other Hand, Is Becoming Harder And Harder To Find. The Age-old Quest For True Love Requires More Effort Than Ever Before. Let's Face It: Dating Is Work. Which, As It Happens, Is Exactly Where It Began, In The 19th Century--as Prostitution. In Labor Of Love, Moira Weigel Dives Into The Secret History Of Dating While Holding Up A Mirror To The Contemporary Dating Landscape, Revealing Why We Date The Way We Do And Explaining Why It Feels So Much Like Work. This Isn't A Guide To Getting The Guy; There Are No Ridiculous Rules To Follow In Labor Of Love. This Is A Brilliant, Fresh, And Utterly Original Approach To Help Us Understand How Dating Was Invented And, Hopefully, Lead Us Closer To The Happy Ending That It Promises-- A Brilliant And Surprising Investigation Into Why We Date The Way We Do-- Introduction: Dates -- Tricks -- Likes -- Outs -- School -- Steadies -- Freedom -- Niches -- Protocol -- Plans -- Help -- Afterword: Love. Moira Weigel. Includes Bibliographical References (pages [269]-273) And Index. A brilliant and surprising investigation into why we date the way we do It seems as though every week theres a new app available on your smartphone promising dates aplentyjust swipe right. A mate, on the other hand, is becoming harder and harder to find. The age-old quest for true love requires more effort than ever before. Lets face it: Dating is work. Which, as it happens, is exactly where it began, in the nineteenth centuryas prostitution. In Labor of Love , Moira Weigel dives into the secret history of dating while holding up a mirror to the contemporary dating landscape, revealing why we date the way we do and explaining why it feels so much like work. This isnt a guide to getting the guy; there are no ridiculous rules to follow in Labor of Love . This is a brilliant, fresh, and utterly original approach to help us understand how dating was invented and, hopefully, to lead us closer to the happy ending that it promises. "It seems as though every week there's a new app available on your smartphone promising dates a plenty--just swipe right. A mate, on the other hand, is becoming harder and harder to find. The age-old quest for true love requires more effort than ever before. Let's face it: dating is work. Which, as it happens, is exactly where it began, in the 19th century--as prostitution. In Labor of Love, Moira Weigel dives into the secret history of dating while holding up a mirror to the contemporary dating landscape, revealing why we date the way we do and explaining why it feels so much like work. This isn't a guide to "getting the guy"; there are no ridiculous "rules" to follow in Labor of Love. This is a brilliant, fresh, and utterly original approach to help us understand how dating was invented and, hopefully, lead us closer to the happy ending that it promises"-- Provided by publisher