In the Land of Long Fingernails : A Gravedigger in the Age of Aquarius

**A darkly comic insider's view of the morbidly fascinating cemetery industry.** __Shortlisted for the Trillium Book Prize____, Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour, and the City of Toronto Book Prize__ A university student during the hazy summer of 1969, Charles Wilkins took a job as a gravedigger in a vast corporate cemetery in the east end of Toronto. The bizarre-but-true events of that time—a midsummer gravediggers' strike, the unearthing of a victim of an unsolved murder, and a little illegal bone-shifting—play out among a Barnum-esque parade of mavericks and misfits in this macabre and hilarious memoir. With relentless gallows humor, __In the Land of Long Fingernails__ is a story of mortality, materialism, friendship, and sexuality—and the gradual coming-of-age of an impressionable young man. "If Raymond Chandler had written a memoir, I could imagine it reading like this." —Mary Roach, __New York Times__–bestselling author of __Stiff__

In the summer of 1969, Charlie Wilkins was a young man in search of a job. Turned down by a dozen potential employers—including Shubang Used Tire and Dick’s Nifty Car Wash—Wilkins landed an unlikely job at a vast corporate cemetery as a “bone waxer,” handling “bird-houses”
(urns), and earning an invaluable education about life as a caregiver in death.

From reckless disinterments, to a mid-summer gravediggers’ strike, to the illegal shifting of bones from untended graves, In the Land of Long Fingernails is a coming-of-age story among extraordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. It offers up a Barnum-esque cavalcade of “slay carpenters,” “dirt nappers,” mavericks and misfits, shifty plot salesmen, and drug-addled gravediggers, yet it also shows us their uncertainty and superstitions, and their relentless gallows humor amid the inevitable reminders of what it is,
finally, to be human.

In the funny and dark spirit of Thomas Lynch’s best-selling The Undertaking, Mary Roach’s hit Stiff, and Six Feet Under, In the Land of Long Fingernails is a testament not just to unexpected friendship but also to late sixties culture, and to the art and power of storytelling.

In the summer of 1969, Charlie Wilkins was a young man in search of a job. Turned down by a dozen potential employers?including Shubang Used Tire and Dick?s Nifty Car Wash?Wilkins landed an unlikely job at a vast corporate cemetery as a?bone waxer,? handling?bird-houses? (urns), and earning an invaluable education about life as a caregiver in death. From reckless disinterments, to a mid-summer gravediggers? strike, to the illegal shifting of bones from untended graves, In the Land of Long Fingernails is a coming-of-age story among extraordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. It offers up a Barnum-esque cavalcade of?slay carpenters,??dirt nappers,? mavericks and misfits, shifty plot salesmen, and drug-addled gravediggers, yet it also shows us their uncertainty and superstitions, and their relentless gallows humor amid the inevitable reminders of what it is, finally, to be human. In the funny and dark spirit of Thomas Lynch?s best-selling The Undertaking, Mary Roach?s hit Stiff, and HBO?s widely-acclaimed Six Feet Under, In the Land of Long Fingernails is a testament not just to unexpected friendship but also to late sixties culture, and to the art and power of storytelling In the summer of 1969, Charlie Wilkins was a young man in search of a job. Turned down by a dozen potential employers including Shubang Used Tire and Dick’s Nifty Car Wash Wilkins landed an unlikely job at a vast corporate cemetery as a bone waxer,” handling bird-houses” (urns), and earning an invaluable education about life as a caregiver in death. From reckless disinterments, to a mid-summer gravediggers’ strike, to the illegal shifting of bones from untended graves, *In the Land of Long Fingernails* is a coming-of-age story among extraordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. It offers up a Barnum-esque cavalcade of slay carpenters,” dirt nappers,” mavericks and misfits, shifty plot salesmen, and drug-addled gravediggers, yet it also shows us their uncertainty and superstitions, and their relentless gallows humor amid the inevitable reminders of what it is, finally, to be human. In the funny and dark spirit of Thomas Lynch’s best-selling *The Undertaking*, Mary Roach’s hit *Stiff*, and *Six Feet Under*, *In the Land of Long Fingernails* is a testament not just to unexpected friendship but also to late sixties culture, and to the art and power of storytelling. A darkly comic insider's view of the morbidly fascinating cemetery industry. Shortlisted for the Trillium Book Prize , Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour, and the City of Toronto Book Prize A university student during the hazy summer of 1969, Charles Wilkins took a job as a gravedigger in a vast corporate cemetery in the east end of Toronto. The bizarre-but-true events of that time—a midsummer gravediggers' strike, the unearthing of a victim of an unsolved murder, and a little illegal bone-shifting—play out among a Barnum-esque parade of mavericks and misfits in this macabre and hilarious memoir. With relentless gallows humor, In the Land of Long Fingernails is a story of mortality, materialism, friendship, and sexuality—and the gradual coming-of-age of an impressionable young man. "If Raymond Chandler had written a memoir, I could imagine it reading like this." —Mary Roach, New York Times –bestselling author of Stiff A half-assed shot at redemption The luxuriating harmony of the peaceable kingdom The unassailable code of cemetery conduct A young man of spiritual inclinations The practice of inefficiency The profitable phase of death Death's little acre No time to croak The pace of microbes and worms A loner and a rose gardener The remains of the day The business of being alive The imperfect possibilities of the venal new world The land of low expectations No more bullshit. A comic memoir of Charlie Wilkins's year as a twenty-year-old student-grave digger in the swinging sixties